The melancholy of my life!this line suits well on me.How stupidily I assumed that he is melting for me and again my hopes shattered like sand castle .

After completing the formalities of my admission ,he asked the driver to drop me at home whereas he went to his office by another .

Since that day I and Randhir didn't meet .He was living his life and I enjoyed my convenient solitude .

I started my college .Gladly the classes start after ten so I get plentiful time to spend with Grandpa ,Andy and Abbey and...the few stealings of my own husband at breakfast.

The tick tock sound of clock reminded me of the end of the day.I gathered my body on the couch staring at the silver pearls which were dropping since afternoon.I couldn't make it for college looking at the roaring clouds.

The mist made the surroundings dreary silence and gloominess.They are shades of my life too.

Every single day I wake up with the hope that something will change in our soulless relationship.Some happiness would cast upon my abode and some miraculous things might happen but at the end only despair comes in my favour.

The sharp pain in my temples apparently proved that I slept crying myself . Standing up from the soft cushions,I dragged myself in the balcony to get some fresh air before going down to check upon Grandpa.

The sky was turning blackish grey

and the heavy pour turned into soft drizzle.The cold wind hit me like a pile of bricks but I stood there enjoying the solitude of the nature.

Automatically my eyes went to the entrance of castle when the screeching sound of Randhir's limo hit my eardrums.The chauffeur came our first and then opened the door

for him.I focused my eye balls on the black shoes that appeared first but they were clumsy.

And then his tall muscular body sprang out completely.My heart lurched when his black eyes moved to my direction.I could see anger building in them.He shoved the chauffeur when he tried to hold him by arms.I saw the signs of him being drunk .I sighed in exasperation and moved back inside the room not caring what it had done to him.

As I leaned on my study table trying to focus on the assignment given by my cost accounting professor.The old man is such a pain in the ass.Suddenly I heard the breaking of glass .It must be the outcome of his temper.

The violently broken objects' sounds kept coming from the ground floor .It was enough for my patience to tolerate.I closed the book and moved out of the room and came down on the ground floor.

"Where is Mr. Shekhawat.."I asked one of the housekeepers who were helplessly staring at the closed door

of his room from where those sounds were coming.

"You all can leave...I'll see after him.."I told them.They bowed in affirmation and left one by one.

I inhaled a deep breath preparing myself to face his ghastly advent.Slowly turning the knob ,I opened the door.The was completely turned into a battle ground . Broken things were scattered in every corner .Among all the mess my husband was standing with red eyes.They were eager to burn

me alive.

"Get lost..."he growled.I ignored his warning and carefully removed the pieces of broken glass and clay out

of my way to reach him.

He furiously sprang forward to pounce on me but the alcohol took away his rationality.He stumbled but before he might kiss the floor I caught him by arms.

"Don't touch me.."he shoved my hands by full force but he didn't know that I wasn't less stubborn than him.I struggled greatly to get him til the bed but his weight was crushing me and the smell of alcohol from his breath making me sick.

"You ruined everything Sanyukta..you ruined everything...I can't do anything..I can't.. everytime your face comes in front my eyes.."he yelled all the time I dragged him.

His words prickled my heart .I wanted to shout on him but he was not in a state to comprehend my words.I am not at fault like the way he is.

He muttered numerous incoherent things for me as I laid him down on the bed.Took off his shoes and covered him properly with the quilt.I couldn't find my guilty in him.He hated me for invading his freedom but I found myself melting on sheer innocence of his sleeping figure.

"I wish...you'll understand one day that..I am too suffering in this sickish marriage.."I cowered holding my tears all together and came back to my room.

~~~~

The dark hours wasn't something one can call a peaceful night ,at least for me.With passing days my patience and hope in my marriage was loosing and the last night when he glared me in apocalyptic way ,I thought he can only shower me with hatred.Throughout I questioned myself that why I was in this marriage? Hurt fueled my anguish.

I changed into presentable clothes though none would see me in the early hour of morning but I didn't want to give them a chance to mock on my middle standard.

I sauntered in the kitchen .There were no one except the young man who cleans the ground floor area.He was cleaning the counters.

"Good morning Ma'am.."he wished with smile.

"Good morning..Albert..how is your mother..?"I asked the boy about his sick mother for whose treatment he has to work in a tender age like me.

"She is recovering.."he answered . The brightness of his eyes were telling how happy he must be.

"Ohh that's great.."I said.

"Do you need something..Ma'am I can help you.."he offered his service but I denied him by gesture.

The first thing I need in the morning my strong cup of brewed coffee.Retrieving the milk from the refrigerator,I put it on the flame .

"Sanny..are you free...?"Rebecca the beautiful young maid and my well wisher inside this ruthless castle made her way to me.It was me who asked her not to address me 'Ma'am' whenever we use to be alone.

"Not exactly..just making a cup of coffee for myself.."I passed a smile

to her but the uneasy look on her face suspected there was something she was hesitant to tell me.

"Do you wanna say some..?"I poked her.

"Mr. Shekhawat wants to see you with his green tea.."she told me.

Goosebumps erupted on my hands and the last night dangerous incarnation of my husband triggered my rational thoughts.

Did he want to hurt me again ?I wanted to avoid his presence because it was actually hurting me the most.

"I can't..I need tk check upon Grandpa.."I denied.

"C'mon lady..he is asking for you only.."she insisted me.

"Why don't you go and give him his green tea.."I glared at her.

"Listen Sanny ..I saw anxiety in his eyes..he wished to see you..may be this is your chance.."she knocked some brain in my skull.

My heart scrunched on the mere thought of be with him like a nirmal couple do but this was impossible.

"Why are you avoiding him Sanny for god damm sake he is your husband..and somewhere you're at fault too..tell me have you ever tried to sort out the issues with him using your right as a wife...hah..?"she whimpered.

Her words were bitter but they

were true.It was me who easily gave up on him.

"Go Sanny and spell some of your charm on him..if this is the only way to get him back..you need to get closer to him first.."she advised me sincerely.

"You're right but I won't pressure him for anything..he wants this life..I know he can't be satisfied with one woman..I don't want to be heart broken in the future.."I told her about the fear which I draped myself in.

"Think about it..Sanny.."she squeezed my shoulder before proceeding back to her work.

Ten minutes later I made my way to his room with the cup of his green tea.

T

he door was closed.Pushing it ajar I glanced inside.The mess was still adoring the floor .

There he was sitting on the bed with a stone face but his eyes were soft unlike the last night.

"Will you stand there only..?"he fired in dagger sharped tone.

I moved to the nightstand taking baby steps.All that while I felt his gaze stuck on me.

As I turned back to leave he caught my wrist leaving me flabbergasted .

"Please sit.."he whispered coherently.

I detached my hand from his grip and sat on the ending edge of the bed.By his looks I could tell that he didn't like it but I wanted to show him that I too have a self respect which he can't harm whenever he wants.

"I am sorry..."after a silence of few moments he spoke.

I batted my lashes for couple of times wondering that he was still in the effect of alcohol because sober Randhir cam never chip the word 'sorry'.

"For what..?"though I asked the reason behind his apology.

"For my last night's behavior..I shouldn't have done that to you.."he lowered his lashes .The guilt was visible in those black irisis.

"Its okay..I didn't mind it all.."I must be looking like a moron while saying this because it was a plain lie.

"No it's not okay..I have no rights to harm your self respect when I can't give you the same.."he spoke vehemently.

"I said I have no grudges towards you..so forget about it.."I assured him so that I coild escape from there.

"Are you sure..?"he asked with regretful eyes.

"Yeah.."I pressed my lips .

"Thank you.."a brief yet faint smile appeared on his stubbled cheeks but what he did next left me shocked.

"Your heart is beautiful Sanyukta.."he stated and kissed the back of my palms.

The feel of his rough sexy lips on

my cold skin directly made its way to my heart.

He is unpredictable!