"What are you doing here ?," I asked sounding a bit harsh.

I felt all kinds of emotion run through my mind but I mostly felt nonplused just staring at Sylvia standing right in front of me looking like a chic model.

She is dressed in black high-waisted pants with suspenders and a red long-sleeve loosening crop top, her hair in a stylish ponytail, and light makeup complimenting her outfit.

"What a nice way to greet your sister you haven't seen for so long," she says sarcastically before taking a seat beside the bed.

"And whose fault is it?" I roll my eyes at her "why are you here?" I ask again curious.

"I promised you I would find a way to get Dad's approval," she says before placing a file on my lap.

My eyes spark in excitement and happiness hearing these words from her before clouding in confusion staring at the file on my lap " what is this suppose to be?"

"Open the file and see for yourself " she urges sounding qualm.

I peel the file open finding pictures of couples and some information about their lives. Like years of marriage, occupation, mental stability, etc.

Seeing my confusion she explains " I found out from the doctor that your baby is very healthy and growing very fast" she pauses momentarily studying my expression before speaking "so here is the plan"

I bite my bottom lips feeling uncanny while avoiding her gaze on me.

"These are the information of couples who are capable and willing to adopt your baby..."

My gaze snaps towards her " what?" I asked still not being able to understand where this is leading.

"Shiloh this is all that I could come up with to help you, " she says calmly staring into my eyes with guilt.

Before I could reply she continued " you could meet these five couples to gain more information and find the perfect couple for your baby" she says showing me the different pictures of the couples.

"How is this going to help?" I ask sternly my brow creased.

" This is the best druthers I could come up with right now because your baby would have a complete family, and then you can ask for forgiveness from Dad after all the baby was the reason Dad sent you away, " she says nonchalantly with the idea.

I stare at her intensely as she flips through the file saying the details of each couple.

I study her carefully searching for any indication I could find to make this a dream or this Lady right here isn't my sister Sylvia. That this is just a misapprehension.

But this has become my reality. A reality where my family has become strangers. A reality where my close ones pushed me down leaving me to learn how to dust the dirt and move on. A reality where I had to walk on broken bottles and hold on to the edges of stilettos.

I had to keep my feelings locked down telling myself no matter how much it hurts, don't let them know just keep on smiling. But maybe just maybe I care too much.

I stare at her with a glimmer of tears in my eyes but I refuse to look vulnerable or helpless anymore.

I blink back the tears before meeting her gaze feeling umbrage with her idea " Was it so easy?" I ask calmly trying to bottle up my anger and frustration.

"What ?" she asks curiously searching for any emotion in my eyes but I stare at her blankly.

"Was it easy when you left me hanging?"

Her face holds confusion while her eyes say a different thing " I don't understand your question"

"Why are you doing this? How could you even consider this as an option" I say waving the file in the air " I will never give my baby up for adoption no matter how convincing you become" I say firmly.

I fling the file across the room in resentment " Shiloh I know what you are feeling right now but all this is for your good..." She says softly trying to take my hands in hers but I pull my hand away.

I glare at her cutting her short" no you don't understand anything, not when you left me alone when I needed you and now here you are telling me to give my baby away" I say through gritted teeth.

She looked at me dejected" please Shiloh just listen to me" she says pleading.

I would like to listen to what she has to say but I am done listening for once, she needs to listen " Come to think of it " I say thoughtfully " you are all scared because this may get to the public so you only trying to get rid of my baby because of your family selfish reasons " I say spitefully my glare still in place.

The words coming from my mouth felt so foreign, I would never sound like this no matter how angry I get but maybe it happens when you are being pushed off your limits.

I felt a sting on my cheek snapping me out of my thought making tears roll down from my cheeks.

I hiss from the impact blinking to clear the cloud of tears blocking my eyes trying to focus on my surroundings.

Finally focusing on my surrounding I find Sylvia staring at her hands like it was the most bizarre thing ever, looking stunned.

I place my hand on my cheek feeling the red imprint of her hand on my cheek.

Sylvia would never raise her hand on me but I guess things changed" Shiloh I am so sorry.." I put my hand between us stopping her apology.

I wipe away the tears "it's okay" I say calmly feeling weary suddenly.

"Mum and dad care about you but things are so complicated and there are things we can't tell you right now," she says furtively.

I shake my head in a no motion " I won't beg for your time and attention anymore. The more you ignore me, the more I will get used to being ignored. "I say meeting her sad gaze on me " if you stop calling me, I will stop waiting for your calls. If you stop sending me text messages, I will get rid of my habit of checking my phone all day" she tries cutting me off but I refuse to let her speak because I just need to get all this desperation off my chest.

But why does it feel like I am breaking my own heart?.

"The more you stay away from me, the more I will adapt to staying away from you," I say not only directing these words to her but to everyone who hurt me.

She runs her hand over her face looking sad and helpless, Sylvia I know always looks collected with a bright smile on her face but right now she looks nothing like that.

I sigh placing my feet on the ground before walking past her towards my bag placed on the chair in front of Dr.Anna office desk " if one day you noticed that we haven't talked in a while, it's not because I don't care anymore, but it's because you pushed me away and made me feel like I'm not important to you" I say calmly with my back facing her.

I pick up my bag before leaving the room.

I walk towards the exit, not bothering to even see Dr.Anna before leaving.

I felt my heart beating at a fast pace making me feel suffocated like the room is closing on me.

I feel forlorn, my mind and heart at war with each other. Each begging for control.

My heart wants to forgive and forget everything accepting it has my fate but my mind can't forgive or either forget all I have been through as my fate.

Someone once told me always follow my heart but is the heart always right?.

I step into the car before checking my bag for my phone. Finding it I scroll through my contact before pressing the call button.

Shane picked up at the first ring" Hello beautiful lady," he says sounding elated.

"Are you by anyway busy?" I asked crossing my fingers praying he is free.

"No, I am free for the next 2 hours, is everything alright you sound dull?" He asks worriedly.

A smile appears on my lips hearing his free" can you please meet me at the park?" I say ignoring his question.

"Okay see you there in five minutes," he says before exchanging goodbyes.

I end the call before starting up the car, my eyes lock with Sylvia as she walks out of the hospital with Dr.Anna beside her.

I avert my gaze from hers before driving off.

I sat on a bench in the park waiting for Shane.

I and Shane have grown closer, he knows about my family and Chance. I can tell him anything since Louis and Damien are Chance's best friends I can't tell them everything but with Shane, it just comes so easy telling him my problem because he is a great listener.

I check through my bag for a sandwich consisting of only bread and jam, I packed it as a light meal before taking a bite from it while waiting for Shane to arrive.

I wait for Shane for a few minutes more before he arrived taking a seat beside me dressed in blue ripped jeans, a white t-shirt paired with a denim jacket.

"Thanks for coming, " I say with a smile.

"Am only here for some juicy gossip so start spilling," he says making me laugh.

I told him about my encounter with Sylvia while he pays attention to everything I had to say " I am tired of being a secret. I just want people to see me as someone's friend, girlfriend/ fiancee, sister, and daughter, not just a philanthropy case" my voice cracking with emotion.

I rub my eyes with my hands " I have decided to no longer care, I just want to do something for myself and my baby "

Shane passed a blue napkin to me.

Taking it from him I wipe my tears sniffing before saying a thank you.

He encourages me to continue " I want to do something which makes me happy not what others require of me," I say my gaze downcast " I don't think I deserve to be treated this way "

"So what are you going to do about it ?" Shane asks softly with his gaze focused intensely on me.

I conjugate over his question for a few minutes" I think it's time I focus on me not what people think, gaining attention or love but just on me " I say firmly having a sense of determination.

"That's what I need you to do, forget about those who don't value you and focus on building yourself," he says soothingly with a warm smile.

I mirror his smile feeling relieved that I could share my dilemmas with someone " I am sorry for being a cry baby " I say apologetically as a blush creeps up my cheeks embarrassed.

He laughs lightly " you don't have to be embarrassed we are best friends for a reason, " he says nudging my shoulder.

I guess you don't meet anyone accidentally there's always a reason behind it.

"Shiloh, you just need to know when to stand on your own two feet, " he advised in a calm voice.

I see Shane as a witty person not just because he is older by three years but because he has been through a lot to obtain where he is right now.

I stare at the ceiling of the room cogitating about my next step before hearing a knock on the door, I avert my gaze towards the door as Emma walks in.

"Hey are you okay?" she asks worriedly studying the expression on my countenance.

"I am fine," I say before focusing my attention on the ceiling while she stands beside the bed.

" Shane called, he told me what happened, " she utters softly " would you like to talk about it?" She asks warily.

I glance her way "no, I am trying to forget ever seeing her today "

"scoot over," she orders standing above me beside the bed.

"What?" I ask confused.

"Scoot over let me join you on the bed, " she says mildly.

I move swiftly creating space for her" Emma" I call softly breaking the peaceful silence between us.

"Yes"

I glance at her before speaking " I am so happy you are here right now, with everything happening you, Louis, and Damien never left" I say making a wide grin focus on her lip.

"I learned something from Shane today.." She cut in before I could continue.

"And what are they?" I roll my eyes at her with a smile still on my lip.

"I learned even though I lost Chance and my family I was able to earn new friends like Shane, Summer, William who care and are willing to be here for me," I say thinking about how I met each of them.

"Yeah they are nice people and I am also happy you could see what is right in front of you," she says gleefully.

"If I ever get a second life I would always choose you as my best friend, " I say smugly.

"Why would you choose me as your best friend and not your real sister?" She teases.

"Because you don't deserve a family like mine but a nice and caring family just like yours," I said yawning.

I turn my back towards her with my eyes closed " go away I need to sleep "

"What a nice way to address your best friend " I felt the bed move as she stands to her feet" don't you have somewhere to be "

"No, I am going shopping with Mum Eliana later by four " I whisper feeling exhausted.

"Okay I will be in the living room if you need anything," she says before leaving the room.

•••••••••••••••••••

My heart beats rapidly, my lungs ache as my breath comes at a prompt pace, my legs throb from running but I can't stop now, not when my baby is in danger.

I push forward in the somber night running while stumbling a few times but I have to pull myself up before they get me.

I stare at the baby in my hands wrapped safely in a blanket sleeping peacefully not being cognizant of the danger around waiting to take him/her away.

I came to a stop reaching the end zone making panic run through me.

I can't turn back now they will get me but still, I can't move forward anymore.

Tears run down my cheeks feeling helpless with no way of circumventing " Give us the tot " a voice commands behind me.

My body tremulous in fear, I clutch my baby tightly to my chest before turning around to face the voice behind me.

Sylvia and Mum stood in front of me with a malign look on their countenances.

I hold the baby tight moving backward with each step I take back, the more they got closer.

"No. No. No, GETAWAY" I exclaimed desperately.

I blink my eyes open with my heart beating so rapidly in fear" it was a dream" I sigh running my shaky hands through my messy hair.

I stand up from the bed with much difficulty before trudging towards the living room where I knew Emma would be because I was deeply in need of a companion.

I took a seat on a couch beside her while she lay lazily watching a movie " are you alright you look pale ?"

"No, I had a dream where my Mum and Sylvia were attempting to take my child away from me " I shudder as the memories of the dream run through my mind.

"I am so scared, what if they succeed in taking away my child, " I said tremulously.

She moves to take a seat beside me trying to soothe me " I can't bear the thought of ever losing my baby because this child has become my life"

"You having a panic attack take a deep breath" she advises patting me on the back.

"I am so scared Emma," I say trying to normalize my breath but I could not because my body was going into trepidation.

Black spots cloud my vision making it difficult to see anything " Shiloh please take a deep breath " she says in anxiety as my eyes close tiredly.