I stared as Alex dipped his foot into his pants and zipped them up. His shoulders seemed tense and his breathing was unsteady.

He looked frantically around the floor for his shirt. My eyes wandered to the bed and I grabbed it, stretching my arm out to him.

Sighing, he walks over and takes it from my grasp.

"Alex, you don't have to go." I say.

"Nah, I think it's better if I do." He puts his shirt on inside out and sits on the bed. Putting his shoes on, he ties them quickly and gets back up.

"Alex, come on, we can watch a movie or order food. Just please, stay." I plead.

"Tell me why, Emma." He says, standing above me. I look away, bringing my head down. "Tell me why you said his name?"

"I didn't say anything!" I raise my voice.

The moment we shared I swore Jax's name was far beyond my thoughts. I can't even remember me ever calling out to him. Alex knew otherwise.

He heard me.

"Bullshit!" He yells. "You know, at first I thought I had imagined it but why the fuck would I imagine you saying that bastards name?"

I shake my head. "Gosh, I don't know. Please, Alex."

"I think...I think it's best if," He trails off.

"Don't say it." I stand up from the bed, wrapping my bath rope around my body. "You can't."

"You and I both know this hasn't been working for a while, and this," He points between us. "I can't, Emma. There's only so much I can take."

"Alex," I say. "I love you."

"Sometimes that's just not enough."

He grabs his jacket, taking his keys off my night stand and walks out the door. I follow behind him, calling his name in hopes he would change his mind.

I couldn't accept him breaking up with me. This wasn't how it was supposed to happen. We were meant to work through things and fight for what we had.

My eyes were stained with tears and I could feel my heart ache as Alex walked away from me.

I knew I had officially lost him.

Reaching the door, he swings it open and Alex comes face to face with Hunter and Jax. Jax's face completely falls and looks between Alex and I.

"What the fuck did you do?!" Jax grabs Alex from the collar and pushes him against the wall.

"Jax, stop!" I scream. "Get off of him!"

I grab Jax and try prying him off of Alex but it was no use. His weight and height compared to mine was a huge difference and I could barely push him off.

"Let go of him, he didn't do anything!" I cried out.

"What happened?" Hunter asks, coming towards me. He cups my cheeks, wiping away my tears.

"I'll kill him." Jax says, angrily.

"He didn't do anything." I wipe my nose, sniffing. "It was me, let him go."

Jax looks at me, confused and looks back at Alex. Alex stayed quiet, not daring to look at me.

"Just let him go." I say. Without a second thought I move away from Hunter and walk away not looking back.

I couldn't wrap my mind around anything. My heart was too heavy and my mind was consumed with thoughts of Alex and Jax. I was afraid to leave them alone not knowing if Alex would tell them what happened.

Lying down on my bed I let the warmth of my blankets comfort me. Closing my eyes, I cuddle into my pillow and breathe out.

It was impossible to hold back my tears and within seconds I let myself give in and I cried into my pillow.

Even though I knew sooner or later things with Alex would end, this wasn't how I wanted it to happen. It was a lot more painful than I thought it would be.

Memories of the time he told me he cheated flooded back and I was a sobbing mess. I buried my face into my pillow and squeezed my eyes shut.

"Emma." I look up to find Jax at the door with a cup in his hand. "Can I come in?"

Wiping my tears, I sit up and nod my head. Jax walks in with an ashen look and hands me the cup. He knew me all to well to know that I loved hot chocolate, especially after a good cry.

"Thanks." I say, my voice sounded raspy and congested.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

I shrug, not trusting my voice right now to choose my words. I couldn't tell him what had really happened. It was bad enough that Alex broke up with me and if Jax knew why he'd never let it go.

"Uhm," He gulped. "Alex sort of told us what happened."

I groan, hiding my face behind my hair in hopes he'd leave now. Embarrassed wasn't even the right word to describe my situation.

I didn't think Alex would tell Hunter or Jax anything, let alone the truth.

"You don't have to be upset." He says. "I'm sure this kind of stuff happens to a lot of people."

I look up giving him a strange look. "Yeah, I'm sure a lot of girls yell out another guys name while they're having sex with their boyfriend."

He chuckles, his laugh filling the room.

"Is he still here?" I ask.

"Hunter was talking to him before I came here. He's probably still there." The sorrowful look Jax has on his face only made my heart ache even more. I couldn't do anything. There was nothing that could fix this.

"I have to talk to him." Rapidly, I get up and place the cup on my night stand. I walk over to my doorway only to stop and turn back to face Jax.

"I'm sorry." I say.

"For what?"

"Pushing you away, especially when I knew you needed me." I utter.

"I understood why you did it." He breathes out. "It's in the past now."

Slyly smiling, I walk out of the room and into the living room to see Alex and Hunter on the couch.

"Can we talk?" I look at Alex.

With a weary smile, Hunter gets off the couch and walks past me. I watch as he goes into my room and begins speaking to Jax.

Tuning them out, I take a seat across from Alex and watch as he avoids eye contact.

Their was a pregnant silence between us making it strange and uncomfortable. I admired him as he picked at his nails and looked around the room. I had lost something good.

"I had so much to say up until now." I speak. "There's nothing I can really say that makes up for what I did."

"Did you guys ever..." He trails off, not daring to say what he was thinking.

"No, no way, never." I defend. "I never cheated on you, Alex."

"So why?" He looks up at me. Pain filled his eyes, and regret was all over his face. He looked miserable. I was the cause of his wretched persona.

"I-I can't explain it." He stands up, scoffing not wanting to hear anything else I have to say. "Please, just listen."

He sat back down, an indignant look plastered on his face.

"I knew I've had feelings for Jax for as long as I can remember." I begin. "Even before I met you but you have to know that you were not a replacement. I fell in love with you and I still do love you. You're an amazing person and even though you've done things in the past, I looked beyond that. Shit happens and this is one of those times."

After a brief silence, I sighed, pushing back the tears. I had to let it all out, I wasn't going to lie to him anymore.

"There were times where Jax and I almost kissed and I wanted to, I did, but nothing happened. If it wasn't for people interrupting or something getting in the way, I would have cheated. I didn't, though." I let out.

"You're basically saying, hey I almost cheated but I didn't so it's okay." Alex laughed, shaking his head in disbelief.

My heart throbbed as I watched a tear slip out of his eye, falling down his cheek.

"It's not okay," I cried out. "I wanted to tell you, I just didn't know how."

"If you would have told me sooner it could have been easier." He whimpered. "Finding out this way...it's cruel.

I leaned forward, grabbing a hold of his hands and squeezed them tightly.

"I should go." He says.

"I'm sorry." I apologize again.

"Stop apologizing." He replies. "I guess now I know how you felt when you were in my position."

I chuckle, standing up after Alex and follow him to the door. "You have no idea."

"Goodbye, Emma." He whispers, letting go of my hand.

"Goodbye, Alex."

—