I lay awake for a lot longer than I'd like to have done. She practically said she wanted me too, didn't she? But she doesn't want to ruin the friendship. Neither do I..? We wouldn't though. It wouldn't change things in that department. God, why is this so hard?

I was broken from my thoughts when I heard a clatter downstairs. My neck snapped to see if Camila was still there, feeling around the bed slightly to find her body. I sat up, slipping out of bed, out of her room and tip-toeing downstairs.

I was about half-way down when I heard another. "Hello?"

The moonlight shone through the kitchen window to show it was empty. "Zoe?" I whispered, making my way to their sitting room. I heard another rattle and sped up my stride, flicking on the light switch. "Zo- oh shit!"

My eyes caught onto Camila's half naked sister sprawled across their sofa, with some guy clung to her neck. I spun a full 180°, closing my eyes and trying to burn out the image I just saw. "Theo! Oh my god."

"I'm gonna go-"

I attempted to walk away when Camila came walking into the room. "Theo, what's going on- oh."

"Wait- Theodore?" I spun around to find the source of the voice when my eyes locked onto him.

"Spencer? What the hell?"

"Oh fuck-" Zoe's eyes flashed frantically as she pulled the dress back over her shoulder. "Shit!"

"Oh my god." Camila covered her face. "You know each other?"

"He's-"

"Cami!" Zoe shouted, "what are you wearing!"

I glanced down to see Camila stood in a T-shirt and my boxers. Oh no.

"I told you so!"

*

"Does your Mom know about this? Aren't you like fourteen?" Spencer teased as Zoe had a heated conversation with Camila. We stood back, letting them settle things.

"Just because we haven't talked in years doesn't mean I haven't aged."

"Nah, I see you have. Still Daddy's boy though?"

"I've got no choice there."

"How's Rebecca?"

"At college, haven't seen her."

"Oh. Didn't your mom move out?"

"Yeah, haven't seen her since, I'm going over tomorrow."

"Tell her I said hi."

"Hey Mom, bumped into Spencer last night while we were hooking up with two sisters and I walked in on him mid make-out, he sends his best."

"Yeah maybe don't say that then."

We stopped joking and eavesdropped into the girls' conversation. "How could you lie to me? I tell you everything!"

"I'm sorry! I swear no one knew, just us, it was just a few times- it was meaningless and there's nothing more to it-"

"So these hot chocolate dates and sleepovers, I thought you were just being big kids but you were fucking?!"

"We're not fucking, Zoe! We're not dating, I'd tell you that! It only happened like three or four or five times, nothing else!"

"What happened to 'we're just friends, it's platonic, I don't like him in that way?'!"

"We are! It is!"

Ouch.

"I knew it! I told you so!"

"Ok fine! You were right! You happy?"

"Yes actually." She chuckled, "it took you long enough. But we're going to talk later."

"Okay." Camila sighed, turning to us, "nice to see you Spencer."

"Um, you too."

I laughed at the situation as I followed Camila back to her room. "I can't believe that just happened."

"Me neither." We fell back on to her bed. "You never told me it was Spencer that she was on a date with."

"I didn't know you knew each other."

"He's like a second or third cousin I think. Only see him every few years at a family event, we aren't close."

"Well shit. Small world?"

"Mhm." I rolled over, staring at her so I could see her reaction to what I was about to ask. "You told Zoe it was meaningless. I know it was, at first, but was it all meaningless to you?"

"Theo-"

"Was it all physical? Is that all I was?"

"No! You're not just a hookup, Theo."

"Then what am I?"

"My best friend."

I'm so fucking sick of that word- Friend.

"So it was all purely just two friends having fun?"

"I mean- it was fun..."

"Was?"

"Look Theo, I think the longer we keep this up the harder it's going to be to stop."

"So you don't actually feel anything?"

"Come on, Theo..."

I'm grasping at straws here, wanting to here her confess something, even though I know she won't. My hands stretched for her face, cupping her cheek. "So when I do this? What do you think about? What do you really feel?"

"I don't know Theo, this is all new to me."

"It's new to me too, Camila. I don't know what's going on here, and your mixed signals really aren't helping."

I sat up, positioning myself over her. "And when I do this?"

I used the hand resting beside her head to lower my face, pressing my lips softly to hers. "What do you think about?"

"You."

"Me? Or my dick? Who I am or what my hands can do?"

"I don't know, Theo! I can't answer that."

"You just did."

I climbed off her, switching off her bedside lamp and lying back down on the bed.

"You were right, we should stop."

"I'm sorry, Theo."

"It doesn't change anything." I lied. "No strings, right? We're still friends, just friends, always will be. Goodnight, Cam."

"Goodnight, Theo."

And then I flipped the switch. I removed the past dozen days from my mind, replacing them with the old Camila. That's who she is. The girl lay next to me is the clumsy one that sings terribly. The girl that I play video games and ball with. My best friend that loves hot chocolate and marshmallows, no cream.

I guess I should be happy, she picked me. Not Matt, not my dick, me.

But now we're back to square one.