"You said you wanted to ask me for a favour?" Barbara questioned, tilting her head at me out of curiosity.

"Firstly, tell us where the fuck you've been these past few days," Ethan butted in. "You're supposed to be a real bitch. Real bitches don't dip on their fellow bitches. Take notes."

"Calm down," I said, nudging Ethan with my elbow. "I just heard from Nick that you're close with Alexandria. Is that.. true?"

"Huh?" she began, her eyes suddenly growing wide as she leaned in closer. "What did he say about me and Alexandria?"

"He just said that he saw the both of you hanging out or something, I don't really remember," I shrugged, not thinking anything about how suspicious she was acting. "And I found out that I've been leaving my love letters in some random dude's locker. So I wanted to ask you if you could lend my letters to Alexandria yourself? Because I don't really know where her locker is and this is the last solution I could think of."

"Hmm," she began, scratching the back of her neck with her eyebrows furrowed. "Fine, I'll do it. Do you have the letters with you right now?"

"Oh, yeah!" I exclaimed with a bright grin before reaching into my backpack and sliding the letters over to her. "Thank you so much, Barb. I owe you one. I spent the entire day yesterday re-writing all these letters. That jerk Alexander refuses to give the letters that I wrote back. I don't even know why he needs them."

"Maybe he secretly gets off to them," Ethan shrugged.

"That's disgusting," I gagged. "Anyway, how come you never told us that you were close to Alexandria?"

"I didn't think it was important," she responded, stuffing the letters into her backpack before standing up. "I've got to get going now. I'll make sure she gets these letters. I'll see you guys later."

"Later? More like never," Ethan snorted as we watched her leave without even waiting for our response.

A silence full upon us and suddenly he handed me a handful of peanuts out of nowhere, which I simply stared at, "I'm allergic to nuts."

"Are you allergic to these nuts?" Ethan shot back, snorting at his 'hilarious' attempt at quoting the famous vine he used to watch on repeat for hours on end whilst laughing his ass off like a fucking hyena. I know because I was the poor soul who had to experience that torture.

"No, but I'm allergic to idiots," I stated before dramatically staging a sneezing fit. "Gosh, Ethan. I think I'm allergic to you! Could it be? That you're... an idiot?"

"Ha! Says the guy who thinks the shape of the Earth is a geoid," he snorted. "I mean, what even is a geoid? Are you trying to tell me that the Earth is a crumpled up piece of used toilet paper?"

"Alright, quit the Earth talk," I grumbled, shooting him a look of annoyance.

"Why? I've always listened to you ranting about how much you like Alexandria," he pouted.

"Hey," I began, disregarding what he had just said. "Did you know anything else about Alexander from when he was still in the football team? Have you ever spoken to him or anything like that?"

"We didn't really talk much at all," he shrugged.

"Uh.. did he have any girlfriends or anything?" I questioned, even after he had just confirmed that they weren't close at all.

"Not that I know of," he responded. "He never really spoke much. But I remember this one time after our team won the championship last year, we threw a party in the sports hall. We caught him making out with the team captain's sister. Damn, it was messed up."

"Sister?" I questioned in a quiet voice. But hadn't he said that he wasn't straight?

Oh, right. It's called being bisexual, you stupid fuck. You know, I just might be dumber than Ethan.

"You know, Crash Bandicoot is kind of hot," Ethan stated bluntly.

Never-mind. Nobody can compare to Ethan's level of stupidity.