"There has been no sign of him in the forest, my Luna." Caspian spoke to me. "Our best trackers couldn't find his scent anywhere."

The search that had been going on for hours seemed futile. No sign of him had appeared other than the indent ion of his body in the flowers the detached petals leading into the woods. Not a scent was picked up nor foot print be found, frustrating me to the highest point.

"That's impossible." A body with no living soul just couldn't have just gotten up and walked off. Even if his body was moved, a utterly disrespectful act, then there would have been signs. Drag marks would have been present, an unknown scent would have picked up if they had breached though the border, a footprint or something!

"I know, my Luna. We have searched everywhere-"

"And I thank you for that. It's just-" A tear rolled down my cheek, followed by another, a sob escaping my mouth. "It feels like I've lost him all over again. That is is truly gone from me, forever." Burying my face into my hands, my knees buckled and I collapsed to the ground.

"Oh, Malia." He sighed and kneeled down beside me.

"I can't." I sobbed. "I can't do this anymore."

"I know, Malia. I know you are but you have to stay strong."

Shaking my head, my eyes blurred with the tears that never seemed to end. " Caspian, I-I just can't. Not without him."

"I can't imagine what it would be like to suffer with loss of a mate." He gently spoke and wrapped his arms around me, standing me upright. "But, just know that you will never be alone. You will always my my support. Kai, Blaire, Cole, his parents will always be here to support you. I will be here to support you. All you have to do is ask but please, you can't buys give up."

"Why can't I?" I asked.

"He would want that for you. He's want you to live your life the best that you can."

"Well, I can't really do that without him now, can I?" The gaping hole filled with void burned with raging emotions. The emptiness crying out as we spoke of him, even though his name was never muttered. It was screaming at me, reminding me in every moment that things will never be the same again. That I will miss him for as long as I am alive and no one will ever be able to replace him.

"I'm not asking you to forget him or move on, just to continue living. Could you just do that for him?" Turning away from him, I could feel my legs shaking from the loss of his support. I felt lightheaded and weak, my body threatening to topple. Refusing to look at him, I was ashamed that I couldn't answer his question, give him the answer that he wanted. He sighed, knowing what my answer was.

"Come on." He weaved him arm underneath mine and across my back, taking on the weight of my body. Leading me back towards his house, the house we were supposed to share, a silence fell upon us.

"Blaire will meet us there to tend to you."

"I-I can't. I have work to do a-and we still have to find him. I-can't."

"No, actually, I will be doing work. You will be resting or doing whatever Blaire wants you to."

"I can't just put all of my work on you, that's cruel."

"Says the person who car even stand upright. Look, you aren't in a great position at the moment and we all know you haven't been taking care of yourself. Just take a fees day off and let your friends take care of you."

"You know I can't let you do that-"

"And you do know that is okay to need help sometimes, right? Everyone needs is at one point or another."

"You're not letting me out of this one, are you?"

"You know, this is the most I have ever heard you talk."

He continued to support me down the path and I refused to initiate and sort of conversation with him for any longer. The only sounds between us were our breathing and the uneven patterns of our feet hitting the ground floor. We have long ago scared off any animals that might have been lingering around, leaving us in total solitude. The silence reminded me that I was always alone now, that I will never be completely anymore.

Blaire was there to meet us at the last stretch of the path, Caspian handing me off to her. Pain stabbed through my chest when they were about to kiss but then stopped and looked at me, as if that would offend me. The fact that they didn't offending me more. It meant that in their eyes, I was broken, unable to even look at affection because if would break me in some possible way.

As expected, she treated me like a fragile child with a mind that couldn't comprehend anything. She spoke to slow, asking me continuous questions about if I needed anything. Insisting to do anything that I go to do, getting me water, making sure I eat, forcing me to stay in the couch. I was almost afraid she would follow me to the bathroom when I had to go but I knew that she meant well. Just annoyingly so.

"Are you sure you don't need anything else?" She asked me again as I made my way up the stairs.

"Yes, Blaire. Thank you for staying with me but I'm just going to sleep."

"Do you need me to stay? I will if you want me to."

"No, no, it's fine. I'm fine. I don't want to keep you here. Besides, Caspian is going to be fairly annoyed with all the paper work he has been doing today. He'll be wanting you home."

I made sure that she made her way out, listening for the front door to close before I began to move again. Passing by the bedroom door, I made my way into the guest room furthest from that room.

Flopping my self into the bed, head in my hands with my elbows on my knees, I watched the hours tick by on the clock. My eyes burning for sleep but even if I tried, none would come.

I was so accustomed to sleeping beside him that I can't do it without him anymore. I was so used to feeling safe with him next to me all the time that now, I am always on edge without him. I was so accustomed to him being everywhere that I now can't even function without him.

Leaning back so that my back rested on the bed, I started at the ceiling. The room smelled like clean linen and stale air, not even close to the cedar and pine that I had grown to love so much. I craved to feel his arms around me, to hold me and run his fingers through my hair as I fall asleep. His voice talking nonsense in the dark as we tried to find sleep is what I craved so much.

Curling up into a ball, I let out a cry. I now understood what my father went through, yet, I couldn't imagine putting someone through the things that he tortured me with. Sitting up, I bit my tongue to keep a cry inside, as I was afraid the person who was down the hall would hear me. I could hear their erratic, heavy breathing and the sounds of stuff being thrown to the floor, unnerving me to the point of no return.