I sit down on the floor with the cigarette in my hand. And continue to smoke until there's nothing left of it.

Sitting in my room, I'm listening to music on my record player. I've been trying to message her and call her ever since she left class. She hasn't been to school at all. I've been going to the skatepark at night in hopes she might be there again, but no. I'm so worried. Is she okay?

Laying in bed at 11 pm, I've been staring at the ceiling for a couple of hours now. I should really go back to school, shouldn't I? "Okay, I'll go to school tomorrow. I have to." I mumble to myself.

The thoughts in my mind are interrupted by the front door slammed shut. Fuck. He is home. I really hope he doesn't know I've been skipping school. He's gonna be so mad. I can hear his footsteps on the stairs. He's been drinking, I can hear it by the way he's walking. But he's always drinking, so it's nothing new. Another footstep and another one. He's getting awfully close to my door. Thoughts racing through my mind, thoughts full of fear. I feel my body tense up.

That's when my door is being opened in a forceful way and he just stares at me. Stares at me with eyes that scream anger. "You've been skipping school." he spits out with the most hateful tone I've ever heard come out of someones mouth. How does he even know? He hasn't been home at all. "I-I'm sorry. I w-wasn't feeling well." I manage to get out of my mouth. But with every word I say I see him visibly get angrier. I see him raising the beer bottle he is holding in his hand, that I hadn't even noticed until now. Without a second thought he throws the glass bottle my way. I can dodge it right on time before it smashes against my bedroom wall in hundreds of pieces. The tears are quick to escape my eyes once again. "Stop fucking crying!" he screams at me. "I've had enough of it!" he continues screaming. But with every tear that falls from my eyes there is another one that follows after. "Clean that shit up!" he spits out before stumbling out of my bedroom and slamming the door closed.

Shaking, I start to pick up the pieces of glass. The skin on my face is hurting from all the crying. I wish he never came back. Collecting all the pieces of glass in my hands, I throw it out in the small bin in my room. My legs instantly taking me to the bathroom. Unconsciously my hand reaches for the razor blade once again. Without a second thought I slide the blade across my right arm. And another time. And another time. And another time. Just like the other night I keep going until there is nothing left to see of my arm. The blood covering all of it. Not feeling like getting up from the bathroom floor, I just lay here. Lay here, feeling tired of everything. Tears haven't stopped rolling down my cheeks. I need her. I need her so bad. I told myself I'd stay away from her. But I need her. I really need her.

Standing up with shaky legs, I leave my bathroom. Blood dripping from the cuts on my arm onto the floor as I walk to grab my phone. I turn my phone on for the first time in days. The first thing I see is that Ashlyn hasn't stopped calling and messaging me at all. Tears still going, I shakily open her texts. I don't read them all, not having the energy to. I type out, 'I need you ash.' Before putting my phone down and sitting back on the ground. The blood still dripping everywhere. I take a deep breath and lay down on the floor next to my bed this time. I need her. I need her. I need her.

My phone suddenly rings telling me I have a notification. Please let it be her. I open my phone to see her name pop up. A wave of relief washes over me. Until I see what the text says. 'I need you ash.' Fuck. Is she okay??? She must be at home. I immediately stand up, grab my stuff and leave my house.

A sound suddenly coming from my window, I look towards the direction of my window to see her. Ashlyn. She's climbing through the window. She came. She's here. As soon as she sees me and the state I'm in she runs towards me. "Tory shit." she says worried seeing all the blood. "Tory we gotta clean this, common." she tells me, helping me stand up. She's trying to stay calm, but I see the worry in her eyes. "You gotta stay quiet Ash.." I softly tell her. She nods, understanding why.

Putting my arm under the water, I look at her trying to find stuff to take care of all the cuts. The water stinging on my arm. "Do you have any bandages?" she asks me. I motion towards one of the cabinets in my bathroom. She hurriedly opens the cabinet and pulls out the bandages, the bandages I found in the kitchen the other night. Seeing her standing next to me, calms me down. I'm able to breathe whenever she's with me. She really does something to me. Lost in thoughts, I snap out of it once Ashlyn turns the water off. She makes me sit on the edge of the bathtub. I can't seem to take my eyes off of her face while she's taking care of my arm. I missed her so fucking much.

"All done." she tells me. Her eyes find their way to mine, mine which were already on her the whole time. She takes a deep breathe. "Tory.." she breathes out in a whisper. A tear escaping her eye. I am quick to wipe it away. I don't want her to cry over me. "You want to talk about it now?" I shake my head. I just wanna stay in this moment, this moment with her. This moment of calmness. "Okay." she whispers. Getting closer and closer. Our lips close the gap.

After sharing the most loving kiss, our foreheads lean against each others. I close my eyes. Feeling safe now that she's here. I feel her breath tickling my skin. "Let's go home mmh?" she says softly. Home. I smile and nod my head.