《smoke with me? (girlxgirl)》chapter 21.
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There is a big dark blue and purple bruise on the right side of my stomach. No wonder it's hurting so much. Shit.
Tears start rolling down my face again. I should have never left Ashlyns house.. I should have told her and accepted her help, but ofcourse I didn't. And now I have to deal with this shit by myself. I don't know if it's a good idea to go to school tomorrow, but I don't wanna stay here.
Looking at my phone, it's already past midnight. I should really get some sleep. Sitting down on my bed, I groan. Everything hurts. He really decided to push me from that high. I hate him. I hate him so much. My phone rings, which makes me jump slightly. I look at the caller and see that it's Ashlyn who's calling me. I don't deserve her. I'm only causing more trouble in her life. These thoughts make me ignore the phone call.
Waking up by my alarm, I groan. Everything is still hurting the same as a couple of hours ago. I decide it's best for me to just go to school, I don't wanna be here. I don't know if my dad will be home or not, but I don't wanna risk it. Getting dressed, very slowly may I add. It hurts to even move. I go to bathroom to see my cheek even more bruised than before I went to sleep. Grabbing my concealer, I try to cover up most of it. It definitely doesn't do a great job. I sigh, knowing I'll just have to accept that I look like this.
Walking to school. I don't know how I'll survive this day, but I guess I'll have to. Thinking about my dad makes me tear up again. A couple of tears rolling down my cheek, one of them bruised. He fucking pushed me off the stairs. What is fucking wrong with him. I get mad again, tears falling down nonstop.
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Arriving at school, I keep my head down low. Very aware of how my face looks.
Walking into class with my head still pointing to the floor, I feel a couple of people staring. I just immediately go to my seat, to not draw anymore attention. Shit. I forgot I sit next to Ash. She can't see me like this. I really need to stay away from her. She deserves better. I only give her more stress. Noticing the seat next to me is still empty, the bell rings. Ofcourse she's late. I thought to myself, smiling a little.
The door opens, interrupting Ms. Miller in her speech. A beautiful brown wavy haired girl walks in, I recognise her the second she steps foot into the classroom. I quickly look down, not wanting her to notice me. Well that thought was just stupid. Ofcourse she'll notice me, her seat is next to mine. I hear Ms. Miller getting mad at Ashlyn, nothing new. I don't really listen to their argument tho. I'm way to focused on trying to hide my face.
From the corner of my eye, I see Ashlyn coming this way. She takes a seat next to me. "Hey Tory." she says, I can hear her smile. What do I do? Do I just act normal? Do I not say anything at all? I go for the last option. I keep quiet. I sense a bit of awkwardness from Ash, who is sitting next to me. "Tory?" she whispers. I still keep quiet. I don't want to drag her into anything, she shouldn't be involved with. I don't want to ruin her life. It's better this way. A tear falling from my eye on my notebook. Ofcourse she notices this. "Hey why are you crying? Tory talk to me." she says softly, concern evident in her voice. I don't know what to do. The voice in my head tells me to just get out of here. And yes I listen to it. I pack up my stuff and quickly get out of the classroom. Feeling a lot of stares pointed my way. Ms. Miller calling out to me. But I'm already out of the classroom. My breath getting out of control again. I quickly get out of this school. I need air.
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Sitting against one of the schoolwalls outside, smoking a cigarette. A cigarette from the package I bought myself. My breath still heavy.
Walking home, I decided it isn't the best idea for me to be at school today. I just hope my dad isn't home.
Opening the door very quietly, since I saw my dads car in the driveway. I just hope he won't hear me. He definitely wouldn't want me skipping school. Closing the door and turning around I see my dad sitting on the couch with another bottle of alcohol in his hands. He is just staring at the wall. What is he doing? Does he know I'm here? I don't know what he's doing and it scares me. I walk quietly to get to the stairs but his voice stops me before I can even get to the stairs. "Why the fuck aren't you at school!" he screams. "I- I did-dn't feel well." I say softly. "Bullshit." he says walking towards me. I take a couple of steps back until my back is against the wall. "Dad you're scaring me." I whisper. He chuckles. "Oh am I?" he says with this grin on his face. I don't know him, I don't know this man. What happened to him? The expression on his face is making me even more sick to my stomach. Suddenly I feel a hard shock on my already bruised cheek. My head turned towards the stairs now. He slapped me. He fucking slapped me. I don't dare to look back at him and just keep my head towards the stairs.
After a minute of him just staring at me, with this unreadable expression on his face. And me trying to avoid his stare with tears rolling down my face. He walks away, and sits on the couch again. I'm still in the same place, frozen. That's when I hear him snore and know it's safe for me to go up to my room now.
As soon as I close my door, I slide down against the door. Sobs overtaking my breath. My cheek still burning from the hand of my own father.
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