《smoke with me? (girlxgirl)》chapter 19
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Ash and I both look at where the scream came from. "Fuck!" I say under my breath, quickly getting off of the table and closing my jeans again. Ms. Miller.. She had been turned around since she caught us. "Are you guys decent now?" she asks us with a scared tone. "Yes ma'am." I say softly. She turns around and looks at us. "What the fuck?" she says seriously. This is the first time I've heard her swear.. She must really be mad. I look down at the ground, scared for what's coming. This is so embarrassing. "Keep this sort of stuff outside of the schoolwalls." she says sternly. I nod my head, not being able to use my voice. I feel Ashlyn reach out for my hand and she intertwines our fingers. I know she's trying to comfort me, she must know I'm feeling really embarrassed right now. I finally have the courage to look up and see Ms. Miller with her hand on her forehead as if she's thinking about what to do with this. "Detention tomorrow, and I'll be watching you guys the whole time this time." she says walking towards her desk. "I've had enough of you two today, so you can leave for today." We grab our stuff and get ready to walk to the door. When Ms. Miller calls out my name. "Tory can I talk to you?" she asks me, I can feel the disappointment in her voice. I nod my head and I see Ash waiting. "Miss Green you can wait outside for Miss Jones." Ashlyn looks at me as if to ask me if I'll be alright. I smile at her and nod to let her know that I'll be okay. Ashlyn walks out of the classroom leaving me and Ms. Miller alone in the room.
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I turn to her with my eyes on the ground, waiting for her to speak. "Are you alright?" she asks me. I look up surprised by the question. I had expected her to get mad at me. I nod my head, but still don't dare to say anything. "You've changed a bit the last couple of weeks." she says with disappointment evident in her voice. "Smoking, coming late to class, not focusing." I scratch my head, feeling a bit awkward about this conversation with my teacher. "Are you sure everything is alright?" she asks again. This makes me mad. The fact that she's acting as if she cares about me. Nobody except for Ashlyn cares about me. I'm sick of people acting like they care. Why would she care if I smoke or come late to class. This is none of her business. "I'm fine." I say rudely before walking out of the classroom.
Ashlyn walks up to me and asks me what that was about. "Nothing. Don't wanna talk about it." I say coldly. I walk in a fast tempo through the school. Ashlyn is trying to keep up with me. "Tory. Talk to me." she stops me with her hand on my shoulder. "There is nothing to talk about okay?!" I snap. I turn around and walk away leaving Ashlyn standing there confused.
Walking inside the shop, I take my earphones out. I'm planning on getting my first own package of cigarettes. I need some right now.
Walking out of the shop with the package of cigarettes in my hand. I grab Ashlyns lighter that was still in my pocket. Getting a cigarette out of the package and trapping it in between my lips. Lighting it, I start walking again. Why does everyone act like they care so much about me? It makes me mad, because I know it's not sincere. And now I'm mad at myself for snapping at Ashlyn, when all she was doing was trying to help me and be there for me. I messed it up. I always do. I mess everything up. Ashlyn doesn't deserve me. I feel a tear roll down my cheek and I quickly wipe it away. I'm done with crying all the time.
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Where did my legs take me again? Ofcourse, the skatepark. I don't know why, it just happens.
Seeing Ashlyn sitting there on her skateboard clears my mind and clears all the worries from my mind. She really didn't deserve to be snapped at like that. I walk up to here and I see her move to the other side of the skateboard for me to sit on the other side. I sit down.
It's silent for a couple of minutes, until I decide to interrupt this uncomfortable silence. I grab her face to make me look at her. "I am so sorry." I whisper against her lips. I see her face light up again. "Don't worry about it." she whispers. "No, I do. You didn't deserve that. You were just trying to be there for me and I was being a bitch. And I'm sorry for that." She leans forward until our lips are touching. Breaking the kiss she tells me, "We're good Tory. It's okay. You wanna talk about it now?" she asks me, looking into my eyes. "Mhm." I hum. I look back at the ground. "She was acting as if she cares about me. I know she doesn't give a shit about me. No one does, except for you." I feel her hand slip in mine, giving me comfort. "She was telling me that I've changed. And then she was asking me if I was alright. I'm sick of people pretending like they give a shit about me." I tell her honestly. I feel her squeeze my hand before telling me, "I care about you Tory. And I'm not letting you go. I will never stop caring about you. Other people don't matter, okay? I am here for you." I look at her and smile. I lay my head on her shoulder and whisper, "Thank you Ash." This is my home, she is my home. She means everything to me.
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