As I walk back home the tears spill from my eyes. I don't even know why I'm hurt by this. What did I even expect. I should have never got involved with her in the first place. 'Fuck, this shit hurts.' I hate this.

I end up on a bench somewhere in my town, since I don't feel like going back home yet. Tears have been escaping my eyes since half an hour ago. People who see me sitting here will probably think how pathetic I am. An 18 year old girl sitting on a bench in the middle of the night crying with a guitar next to her. Why did I think that Ashlyn could ever like me? Ashlyn would never wanna be with someone like me. And I understand that. She's so cool and who the fuck am I? The girl who gets good grades and has the nickname goodie two shoes. That's all I am and that's all I'll ever be to her.

Now that I'm in my room I decide to not get into bed yet, since I won't be able to sleep anyway. I look down at my nails and walk to my bed. I reach under it and pull some boxes from under my bed. There's probably still some nail polish remover in one of these boxes.

Looking through every box that was under my bed. Ofcourse the one thing I was searching for is in the last box I look through. I put everything back to how it was and clean my nails. That's when I notice the ring she gave me around my middle finger. I haven't taken it off once since she gave it to me. And I don't want to. So that's the one thing I'll just keep on.

Walking to school, my eyes half open. I didn't sleep. I didn't want to. All I did was stare at the ring on my finger.

Walking into class, Ashlyn is already sitting in the classroom. Which surprises me again. She's on time. She looks at me as I walk through the door. And as I expected she looks away busying herself with her phone. 'So we're gonna do this now.'

"So class I want you to make pairs to do this math project in. It's gonna be pretty hard so you'll really need your partner. I'll give you 2 minutes to search for a partner." the teacher, Ms. Miller, announces to the class. I just do what I always do whenever we have to work in pairs, I wait until there's one person left. I look at my class being a mess trying to decide who they are gonna pair up with. Why are these people so damn loud? "Who doesn't have a pair yet?" the teacher asks over the noise coming from all the students. I put my hand up and as I look around, to see who put their hand up as well. 'Shit' is all I think. 'Why.' Ashlyn has her hand in the air. I look around to see if there's someone else who also has their hand up. But to my dissapointment it's only Ashlyn and me. 'Great, just amazing.' "Okay then Miss Green and Miss Jones." the teacher says which makes Ashlyn look up. And she notices that she's paired up with me. I see her roll her eyes, which makes me roll my eyes. So typical, being paired up with the person you didn't wanna be paired up with.

I stand up and go sit next to her. Both saying nothing, just waiting until the next instructions of our teacher. "I'll hand out this paper that you have to work on together and I want it handed in on friday."

The paper we have to be working on is laying on Ashlyns table. She shoves it my way. Is she expecting me to do it all. "Really?" I say annoyed. No response. So I'll just get to work, arguing isn't gonna work anyway.

Middle of the night and here I am walking to the skatepark just to see if she's there, nothing else. I tell myself. Almost at the skatepark I see the brunette on her skateboard smoking. Ofcourse she's here. She can't see me since I'm right behind a wall that is in the the distance.

I've been standing here for awhile now. Just staring at her. I know, a bit creepy. I want to go up to her so bad, but I know she wouldn't talk to me anyway. I decide to leave and not go to her, that would just be another mistake.

next week.

It's Monday. She hasn't spoken to me in a week. I'm trying to just forget it, forget everything that happened between us. But shit that's been tough. I did the project all by myself and handed it in on friday as the teacher said. I did put her name on it. I didn't want her to get bad grade, because of me.

As I almost walk into the school I get dragged back, and I already have a feeling who this could be. But why. She hasn't said a word to me in a week. With my back against the wall, where no one can see us, she's looking into my eyes. I was right about who I thought it would be, ofcourse I was. She goes to search through her bag. "Ashlyn." I say confused. "What are you doing?" I ask her. She doesn't say anything, when she finally pulls something out of her bag. I should have known. That damn eye pencil again. Why is she doing this? "Why?" is all I speak out. "Just let me do this, okay?" she says softly. The first six words she has said to me all week. It looks like she's hurting. Is she in pain too? I close my eyes gesturing for her to put the eye pencil on my eyes. And so she does. This hurts. It feels too familiar. It feels safe. But now it's broken. We're broken. But I don't know if we were ever not broken. "Open." she says. I do as she says. Her lips turning in a tiny smile. And with that she walks away. What was that? Was she trying to make it up or was this a goodbye? All these questions in my head, but with every question my head fills with even more questions. And with every question I get more confused.