Fuck. I hadn't meant to yell, to scare Elle, I was just pissed at Viper for interrupting my time with her when it always felt like something was happening to interrupt our moments. I wanted to ask her out, properly, not just for breakfast. But of course Viper had other plans.

Then I saw her face fall at my voice. I watched her fear become directed at me. My heart broke, I vowed to protect her, not be the reason for her nightmares.

After I tried chasing after her, Viper tackled me to the floor. Beating the shit out of me whilst simultaneously yelling at me to calm down. An ironic combination I realise.

Now I'm sitting in the bar, with Vidar and Viper on either side of me, drinking as we try to work out what went wrong. I mean I knew what went wrong, but, why did she run? It felt like a bullet in my chest as she ran from me.

"I didn't mean to scare her bror. I swear, you just pissed me off and I lashed out."

Viper winces before turning back to his whiskey, he is yet to say sorry and chances are he won't apologise- it's not who he is.

Finally, I get fed up and slam my fists on the bar before kicking my stool over. I want to smash something, hurt someone. It's a rage I haven't felt in years. Both my brothers recognise the anger. Vidar stands slowly, holding his hands out to calm me.

"Derek bror, it's ok. She'll forgive you. Just give her a little time ok?"

It doesn't help. I clench my jaw and crunch my hands into fists until my nails are digging into my skin. I snarl and walk from the bar, I need Elle. She tamed the rage I didn't even know I still had.

I throw my door open, slam it shut so hard the room rattles, and drop to the floor. All I can feel is the emptiness and this loathing.

I frightened her.

Me.

That was me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hours must have passed and I was yet to muster the strength to move, I could still feel the rage burning like fire in my veins. Honestly I'm scared to move, to leave my room. I don't actually want to hurt anyone and I will if I leave the confines of my room. One funny look could set me off and I hate it.

There's a light tapping at the door, I swallow hard and try desperately to quell my anger before the door opens. It does and I look up with squinting eyes, I didn't even realise it was so dark in my room. In the door frame there stands a smiling Astrid along with a burbling Liam.

"Hey girlie." I strain out as she walks towards me. She flops onto the floor beside me and plops Liam in my lap. He's talking now, often intelligibly, but he's talking all the time.

"Unce! Unce." He chants as he bounces in my lap. I cradle him closely, letting his little strands of hair tickle against my cheek. I can actually feel Liam and Astrid's presence calming me down.

"Hey my little Warrior." I chuckle as he tells me all about his day according to Astrid's translation of his speedy chattering.

"Where's Eira?" I finally ask when I feel calm enough to socialise.

"With V." Astrid replies softly, "don't tell him I was here yeah?"

I chuckle dryly and look back down at Liam, who is now tracing the lines of my tattoo that is peeping above the neckline of my top. I can't wait to see this little man grow up, I can already see Vidar in his every mannerism. But he has Astrid's smile.

"So I guess that means Vidar told you about my anger then?"

It's not exactly an easy topic to talk about, but Astrid and I share a lot, especially the dark so I don't exactly mind her knowing.

"Yeah." She trills uneasily. "It's ok Mouse, we all have a past."

I nod before swallowing heavily.

"But I scared Elle."

"Yeah you did, but only because it wasn't you. Plus I think there's more going on than just you, ok? Doretha says she hasn't moved in the last four hours. She needs you Mouse. Trust me."

With reluctance, I hand my little nephew back to Astrid and help her to her feet.

"Thank you girlie." I smile and ruffle Liam's hair before leading them from my room. I really hope Vidar doesn't find out that Astrid came to me when I was in the state I was in. He'd probably kill me.

"Don't tell Vidar yes?" I chuckle at Astrid's guilty face as she places Liam on his little unsteady feet and leads him towards the bar where I assume Vidar is.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Doretha!" I groan for the hundredth time as I knock on the door. The only thing keeping me from holding Elle in my arms.

"Fuck off." Is the blank reply from the less pleasant of the two sisters.

"Please Elle," I call out, attempting another strategy, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

I fall against the door and slump to the ground. Speaking now is impossible for me as the tears are clogging in my throat as I desperately try to control them.

The door is pulled open and I fall flat on my back. Rather embarrassingly, I'm left laying on the floor groaning as my head aches from the bump on the door. Looking up, I find Doretha and Elle standing over me. Doretha has a blank, unreadable expression, Elle looks concerned and anxious.

She drops to her knees and pulls me up to a sitting position. After that, I haul myself from the floor, ignoring the light dizziness that hasn't left since my tussle with Viper earlier. He's one mean motherfucker.

Cautiously, I open my arms, my heart thudding with fear that she will turn away, that she will be afraid of me. She steps towards me, slowly at first, before she throws herself against my chest. Hiding her face against me as I feel tears wet my shirt.

"I'm sorry, little one. I should never have frightened you."

😊🤢