5:00am.

The sun rose up in to the sky, like a flower blooming. Its hues of orange, yellow, and blushing pink painted the entire sky. As the sun rose from the shadows of earth, birds chirped in sync. Golden light radiating off the sun passed through my blinds and into my room. My eyes fluttered open when the light shined on my eyes.

The first thought that came to mind was Ryder.

Grabbing my pillow, I put it over my face and groaned.

Why do I always think about him? It's going to drive me crazy! Can't I just take a break from all the thinking?

I found out that keeping inside the fact that I like Ryder has made me like him more and more each day.

My denial is not as strong as my liking towards Ryder and if I don't figure out how to control these "feelings" towards him, I might explode.

Literally explode.

Standing up, I walked into my bathroom and looked in the mirror. I rolled my eyes when I got a good look at my bird nest-like hair.

Taking a brush to my hair, I grumbled in defeat when the brush couldn't comb through my tangled locks. "Why do I always have the worst of lu-''

"How many times have you abused her?" A robotic voice said from downstairs.

My eyebrows rose in confusion and intriguement. "What the hell?" I whispered and tip-toed to the staircase railing.

From where I could see, Michael was sitting at the kitchen bar with both hands holding a beer can. On the counter was his phone.

"I abused her five times this week, Luke." My father answered the person who was on speaker phone.

I cupped my hand on my mouth to prevent a gasp.

Luke?! Why is he talking to Luke?

"Good. Keep it up but try to do it more often if you want to receive more money, Michael."

My eyes widened in realization.

So this is what Luke meant by how he was going to make my life hell, even if he couldn't do it himself. He pays my father to abuse me.

Just hearing this conversation between the two of them makes me want to puke. I can't believe my father would be willing to beat me in order to receive some cash to pay for his alcohol.

A tear escaped my eye when I made the conclusion that no matter how hard I tried to get Luke out of my life, — with the restraining order — he still managed to ruin me.

My body felt limp and my legs gave out. I collapsed to the ground and many tears fell. I hate crying, I absolutely hate it but right now it feels like it's the only thing I can do.

"Remember," Luke said from the phone and my head perked up, "if she finds out about this and tells the police, I will have people murder you and her. Don't let her find out."

That's it. I have to leave this place. I can't live with my father who is paid to abuse me by the guy who sexually abused me. I don't care if I have to live out on the streets I just can't bare to live with this monster for one more second.

Beep! Beep! Beep!

I jumped in suprise but picked up my phone in a heartbeat.

"Hello?"

"Autumn? If you're available, can you come over and help me with something?" Ryder asked.

To be honest, I wasn't in the mood to be around people but going to Ryder's meant I could get away from Michael so I agreed and hung up the phone.

Quickly, I put on some grey sweatpants and a black hoodie. As I scrambled back and fourth in my room, I was able to catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and sighed. "God, I still need to figure out what am I am going to do with you," I said while patting down my tangled hair.

***

After I knocked on the door a couple times it finally opened.

His eyes explored my body, up and down.

Instantly, I felt embarrassed at the fact that I looked like a crazy homeless person who was in search of money.

Maybe I should have worn something nicer...

His eyes were laughing and taunting me, "hmm, you look cute."

Shoving past him, I walked into his house. "Shut up."

As we walked up the stairs to his room, Ryder felt the need to keep commenting on my hobo attire.

Jackass.

"Why do you need me here- oh my god!" When I opened his bedroom door, I was able to see the humongous mess.

So many papers were scattered on his carpeted floor, desk, and unmade bed.

"This is ridiculous. How messy can one person possibly be?"

He walked into his room passed me, "trust me, I know."

"Let me guess, you need help to file these papers because you are an unorganized and lazy idiotic teenage boy."

He smiled, ignoring the fact that I called him an 'unorganized and lazy idiotic teenage boy'. "Correct! How did you know exactly why? You must be a mind reader."

I sat on the floor and started picking up papers, "it's not that hard to figure out if you have a brain like me, noob."

"Noob? That's a new name for me. I like it!"

I stared at him. What a weirdo.

"Can you just shut up and help me please? I'm not doing all of this for you."

"Yeah yeah hold on let me just use the restroom."

Picking up some scattered papers, I looked at him and rolled my eyes. "Fine but make it quick."

Inbetween the bunch of papers I was holding, a little picture fell out and onto the floor.

Setting down the stack of papers, I picked up the photo, "hey Ryder, what-''

The bathroom door was closed and I didn't feel like talking to him as he was using the restroom so I shut my lips.

I looked at the photo more closely.

By the looks of the younger and less muscular Ryder, the photo looked like it had been taken years ago. It was a picture of Ryder, his mother, and two little kids that I did not recognize. Not once have I seen them at Ryder's house or anywhere.

My eyes scanned the little boy and little girls face. Both of them had the same brown hair and eyes as Ryder did. They both had lighter skin than Ryder in the photo. The girl had a red bow pinned in her short hair that was cut into a cute bob, the type of bob that would look playful and appropriate for a girl at such a young age.

Ryder's mother was standing on the left side, Ryder on the right, and the two children in front of them but standing in the middle. They all looked so cheerful as they stood infront of the Statue of Liberty.

What really caught my attention was the right side of the photo. I ran my finger along the side. Based off the jagged feeling and appearance, it looked like someone was ripped out of the picture. The only thing I could see of the missing person was their arm. The arm was hairy and muscular in a white t-shirt. Since it's a family photo, maybe the person ripped out could be Ryder's dad?

"Who could be ripped out of this photo?" I whispered to myself as I analyzed the people in the picture.

Too focused on the picture, I hardly heard Ryder walk out of the bathroom. "By the puzzled look on your face, I can tell you are conflicted. Those," he pointed to the two kids, "are my sibilings."

I took my attention away from the photo and to Ryder. When my eyes met his, I was shocked to find a pained expression on his face; his fist was in a tight ball. Why would he be in tremendous pain- it's just a photo?

"Do...do they live here?"

He sighed in sadness and sat down next to me. "No they don't. They live with my dad. We cut off all ties with my father so I'm not able to communicate with my brother and sister."

As Ryder spoke, his eyes never met mine. Was he lying?

Ryder's eyes were tightly closed for a few minutes. When he opened them he changed the subject, "so...for winter break are you going on the field trip to New York?"

Why did he want to avoid talking about his family?

No. I should not be this curious. It's his life, not mine. The less I know the better.

Ignorance is bliss afterall.

Except I don't feel any bliss at all...

"Um yeah I am. Grace is forcing me to go and I need to get away from someone."

Speaking of this someone, I need to figure out where to live. Maybe a motel? No no motels are scary. I'd rather jump off a cliff than sleep one night in a motel. On the street? Maybe Grace's house or—

All of a sudden, Ryder scooted closer to me and I felt the air around me get warmer. "From who?"

"Um," I tucked a strand of hair behind me ear and avoided eye contact, "Michael. I just can't be around him any longer."

"Michael?"

"My d-dad," I chocked out the words, unable to calm him my "dad".

"Oh..." he faintly whispered.

"Are you going on the trip?" I asked him quickly because the tension in the room was getting too intense.

"Nah," he said and I felt a little sad, "I'm probably just going to stay here."

"Sounds...fun." I barely whispered but I knew Ryder heard it when I saw a smirk on his lips.

"What?" Irritation filled my voice.

"You want me to be there, don't you?"

My cheeks turned hot red, "w-what?" I shoved him away from me, "no of course not! Why would I want you there of all people?!"

He smiled to himself, "mhm sure you don't."

I stood up and placed all the papers that I filed neatly on his desk. "I'm leaving."

"Wait-''

I flipped him off, "see you later!"

When I closed his door and walked downstairs, I smiled to myself.

That guy is a lot to deal with.