The water burned a river down my body as I stood under the shower handle. Releasing my brown, silky hair from the rubber band that it was once held by, I let it fall down my back. Soon enough I was washing my hair and body.

No matter how busy my mind is, I can't help but think about how I'm going to confront Ryder about his past with Derek.

This would be easy, right?

Hahahahaahahahhahaahha I think the fuck not!

He's going to hate me for even talking to Derek but for some reason it had to be done. I trust Ryder more than Derek so if Ryder says some of Derek's story isn't true then I will one hundred percent believe him. But it's better to know both sides of the story than one right?

As I dry off my phone beeps and I pick it up.

My heart skips a beat. He finally texted me! But my smile turned into a comfused frown as I read the text.

Ummm, does he forget I'm a girl? I can't go in there!

Why can't we just meet somewhere else? Whatever. I probably should just meet him there so he doesn't go all donkey kong on my ass.

I quickly change into a white long sleeve shirt and ripped black jeans. Too lazy to put my wet hair in a bun, I just left it down and rushed to school.

***

I turned on my phone in annoyance. I've been waiting outside the locker room for ten minutes.

Why isn't he here? Should he be–

All my thoughts went down the drain as the locker room door opened. A hand grabbed my shirt, pulled my inside, and threw me against the lockers.

Closing my eyes from the pain, I groaned slightly.

"Open your eyes." The voice demanded so that's what I did.

Bad choice.

My eyes met a really really really upset Ryder. I've never seen him this angry before and it startled me but I was used to his anger at this point. He was like a dragon but instead of his mouth, his eyes were breathing the fire, burning my eyes.

I couldn't take the intensity and anger so I dropped my gaze down at the floor. The grasp he had on my wrist was painful and made me feel weak since I couldn't break from it. The way his anger and hold on me reminded me of my father when he was drunk scared me and I didn't know what else to do expect to cry and whimper.

"I should be the one fucking crying, not you. But I don't cry." Ryder's dangerously low voice made me stop crying.

You don't cry? Ok 'Mr. Emotionless'.

I gulped nervously, "w-what do you m-mean?"

He let go of my wrist, giving me the ability to wipe my tears. I hate crying in front of other people.

Ryder grabbed his phone from his pocket and showed me a photo. "You better explain yourself right now or I swear to god Autumn..."

It was a photo of me and...Derek! From Friday. Oh my god, the girl in the hood...she took that photo! In the picture, Derek was grabbing my hand and smiling at the camera while I was staring at him, oblivious to the whole situation.

That son of a bitch!

"You better be ready because my explanation is long," I prepared Ryder as I sat down on one of the locker benches. "Please don't interrupt."

"Go on." He sat down next to me, almost too close to me, causing my breathing to hitch in my throat but he was way too mad to notice the little amount of distance between us.

I took a deep breath in. "Well, I went to lunch with Derek to talk about...you."

His eyes told me he was confused so I kept talking. "There's something about you Ryder that I just want to know. There's something that intrigues me. You think you're fooling everyone with your 'I don't give a fuck about anything' act. Well you're not fooling me. I know there's something wrong and I want to help, I really do. You're always sad and cold and I want to know why."

He ruffled his brown hair with his fingers. "How does Derek fall into this?" he asked in a very annoyed tone.

"I wanted to know about your guys' past. Maybe what happened between you two is why you're so miserable?"

Ryder balled his hands into fist, "tell me what he said."

I did. I told him everything Derek told me and every word that came from my mouth made Ryder super upset.

"That piece of shit," he growled and put his face in his hands. "Everything he said to you was a lie. All of it. He did that so you would hate me when really everything that he said actually happened to me."

My mouth dropped to the floor. Derek lied...

"I was the one that got beat up, look," he turned his head to the side to show me a small cut under his ear. "The bastards did that with their pocketknives."

I lifted my hand to feel it but he jerked away. Hurt from his action, I put my hand in my lap. We stared into each other's eyes for a moment.

His eyes held fear. Did he really think I would hurt him?

"I'm not going to hurt you, I promise." I told him and he shook his head, turning it to the side.

My fingertips gently outlined his scar and his breathing stopped for a second. I was so hypnotized by the feeling of Ryder's skin that I only snapped back into reality because I heard him breathe in relaxation. His eyes were closed in comfort. Did I really have that affect on him?

It hurt to know what Derek did to Ryder...it really did. As my fingers were on the scar, it almost felt like I could feel the pain from his past, which made me want to break down and cry for him. "I'm so s-sorry that happened to you. I really am," I sniffled and choked on the words.

He shrugged and let out a sad laugh, "life sucks sometimes."

You got that right.

Even though he told me what I needed to know, I had a feeling that his sadness wasn't really all about Derek since it happened years ago. I get it was a big deal but I can tell that he mostly got over it, but still hates him. What I think is the cause of his sadness is something more close to him and I still want to find out.

When I let my hand fall to my lap, he took it in his hand and I let out a small gasp. His fingers were as soft as silk. My heart beat was out of control, like I had just run a marathon. Our eyes wandered in each other's for what felt like hours until an emotion flashed in his eyes that I did not recognize, but it terrified me to find out.

"Autumn..." Ryder whispered in a husky and wanting voice that I've never heard from him before.

I shuddered in surprise and pleasure when his hand cupped my face.

At that moment, I realized that I never knew how cold I was until his touch warmed me, sending sparks through my veins.

Ryder rested his forehead against mine, exhaling his minty fresh breath on my face but I didn't mind at all.

"Y-yes?" I stuttered but it mostly came out breathless.

"Jesus...what are you doing to me?" He whispered and I swear to god I almost melted into a pool of liquid.

The way his words affected me. The way I affected him. I can only imagine what it would be like if we did more...

God don't think like that!

We stared into each other's eyes again. Even though his eyes are brown, when I look into them it's like I'm watching the aurora borealis. So many lights and colors flying in the spaces of brown there is. I don't know how I'm able to see many colors in the single color brown but I did; and it was extraordinary. If I could, I would never take my eyes off his.

All of a sudden, Ryder began to lean in and I freaked out.

Holy shit! Does he want to kiss me? Should I lean in? HOLY SUSIDIEJWDDHUFEHBWHB

Gathering up the strength and courage, I leaned in as well. Our lips inches apart...

And I was like baby, baby, baby OooOoOOohh

Like baby, baby, baby NooOOooooOo

Like baby, baby, baby OooOoOOohh

Thought you'd always be mine, mine

My eyes widened in shock. I yelped and jumped in surprise, head-butting Ryder as I did so.

"Oh my god I'm so sorry oh no no no!" I repeated while grabbing my phone from my bag, seeing that I am getting a call from Grace.

"Stupid ringtone!"

I wanted to punch myself in the face. Thank you so much Grace! Bravo! Job well (NOT) done!

"Owww..." Ryder muttered but I could tell he was laughing.

I wanted to slap myself for being too lazy to change that damn rington. I knew I should have changed it.

I could have the ability to not feel a single thing and still feel myself blushing. And not just my cheeks, but my whole face was red...even my ears!!

"You should probably leave before you actually turn into a tomato." He laughed.

Damn him.

I couldn't feel my legs and his stupid smirk appeared. "Or you could stay. Tomatoes are my favorite fruit, so I could just eat yo–"

"Oh my god I'm leaving!!" I shrieked. Grabbing my bag, I hurried out of the locker room. I couldn't help but smile as I walked down the hall to my first period class.

We almost kissed! That would have been A to the M to the A to the– ok I'll stop. I was just going to say it would have been amazing.

Even from outside I could still hear his contagious laughter and rolled my eyes.

Jackass.