Rap songs played on the radio in Ryder's car as we drove down the road with the windows down. The wind cooled me down on this unusually hot day and brushed through my hair like an invisible brush. I inhaled a breathe of the fresh air and smiled. In this moment, I felt at peace within myself. Just driving down the highway feeling free made me forget about all the bad things in this world. It almost felt like I was in a different life, a happier life.

"So you know what to write for the project, right?" I asked Ryder as I held onto the button that rolled up the window.

He rolled his eyes at me, "yeah yeah, I know."

Yeah right. He probably wasn't even listening to me. And if he wasn't, I wouldn't be surprised.

After fifteen minutes, we finally reached our street and he pulled into his garage.

We both stepped out of his Porsche. "I'll see you later," he said as I walked out of his garage.

"Yeah. See you later."

He was about to walk inside before I stopped him. "Ryder, wait!"

Ryder turned to face me. "What's up?"

"Um," I looked down at my shoes, brushing a strand of hair behind my ear. "Even though you don't really like me, thanks for working on this project with me. I really appreciate it."

He smiled and winked, "you're welcome princess." With that said, he walked inside and closed his garage as I stood still on his driveway.

Princess.

The way it rolled off his tongue and the fact that he was calling me that, made me feel some sort of way. Butterflies fluttered in my stomach while a shiver ran up my spine. How could one word make me feel like this?

I bit back a smile as I walked down his drive way and to my house. My mom said she would keep the front door unlocked for me because she was going to be at a meeting so I would be home all alone.

As I stepped inside, I noticed a broken beer bottle on the kitchen counter and internally groaned. Every step I took closer to the bottle was a step closer I was being dragged back into reality. When I touched the beer bottle, reality swooped in and made me forget about the inner peace I felt earlier with Ryder.

I don't know how many more months, weeks, or days I could live here. Every time I'm inside this house is a reminder that my dad would be coming back to abuse me physically and break me mentally

My throat felt parched so I walked over to the fridge. Inside the fridge were over twenty beer bottles and two large bottles of vodka. Ignoring all the alcohol, I grabbed a bottle of water and walked to my room.

I stopped walking up the creaky steps when I realized something.

There's no way on earth Michael could afford all that alcohol. He doesn't have a job, and mom doesn't pay him anything. He basically has $0. Mom doesn't pay for alcohol because she doesn't drink so it is obviously him. But how is he getting all of it? He would need money? Does that mean someone's paying him?

Someone had to be paying him because over the past months, letters with checks have been sent to the house once or twice a week. There's no name on the envelopes. So someone really is paying him. But who?

I reached my room and went to go sit in my desk chair and begin writing about today at the shelter for the project.

***

"So wait, you're telling me that Ryder Becker let you sleep at his house!?" Grace had a shocked expression on her face as she chewed on her sandwich.

This is when Taylor joined in on the conversation. "No way." her face mimicked Grace's.

I looked over at Ryder's table. His friends were all laughing but he didn't join in. It looked like he was lost in his own little day dream. He looked very lonely as he sat with his friends. All his friends surrounding him were on the football team just like him but for some reason, he looked like an outsider.

"We didn't get to second base– in fact, we didn't even get to first! He said he hates me."

Taylor and Grace looked at each other and slightly shook their heads. Their faces were in a 'are you serious' expression when they looked back at me. "You know Autumn, he would never let his ex go to his house. Never ever. And they dated for about a year and a half. Not once. Actually, he's never let any girl into his house before."

"So what? I was locked out of my house."

"If he really hated you like he said, then he wouldn't have let you stay over at his house." Taylor remarked as she twirled her angel hair pasta with her fork.

"It was freezing outside! He had to let me in!" I argued, clearly frustrated that they weren't realizing the situation from my viewpoint.

"He didn't have to let you in, that was his choice. He barely has a heart after what happened with him and his family, so if he really did hate you, he wouldn't of cared if you froze to death." Grace commented but looked down so her hair covered her eyes, immediately regretting what she said about his family.

This caught my attention. "What happened with his family?"

Grace looked at Taylor and they both shrugged. "I have no idea. Probably just rumors."

But that didn't sound like a rumor.

"Ok well you both are wrong. He does hate me and he let me sleep over because I couldn't get in to my own home." I finalized the argument and they both rolled their eyes.

What if....

No. He does hate you. Period.

I looked back at Ryder one more time.

My eyes widened and my cheeks tinted red when I looked at Ryder to only find him already staring at me.

Shit.

I whipped my head around to face Ruby and Lila who were sitting in front of me, chatting amongst themselves.

Grace elbowed me playfully. "Yeah he definitely doesn't like you." her sarcastic statement made me glare at her.

Oh god, that was so embarrassing!! Why did you look back?

I don't know. I didn't even realize I looked back at him until his eyes met mine. The action of looking over at him just...happened.

Packing up my stuff and standing up, I dared to not look back at Ryder for a third time. "I'm going to um...go talk to my teacher. See you guys later."

Before they had a chance to respond, I fast-walked out of the cafeteria.

***

"Do you need something, ms. Autumn?" Mr. Rosenberg asked me as he typed on his laptop.

I cleared my throat. "Actually, I'm here to tell you that I do not need a different partner and that Ryder gave in to working with me."

He stopped clicking at the keyboard and looked up at me. "That's good. I'm glad he gave in. Although it was quite obvious that he eventually would."

My eyebrow lifted in confusion. "How was it obvious?"

Mr. Rosenberg twisted his wedding ring around his finger and smiled. "Teenage boys will always give in if they get to work with a pretty girl Autumn. You should know this. Even I knew that Ryder was going to give in. It's quite obvious actually, the way he looks at yo–"

"He doesn't look at me in any way." I cut him off, irritated by everyone having the same opinion about Ryder and I except me. "In fact, he hardly looks at me at all. But anyways I will just stay his partner and see where it goes."

"Ok. Good luck to you both." Mr. Rosenberg said as I walked out of his classroom door.

What if Taylor, Grace, and even Mr. Rosenberg are right?

Deny, deny, deny.

You're not even a little bit curious?

Deny, deny, deny.

Don't shut me out when you want to give in, my heart demanded as it beat faster.

Ignore, ignore, ignore.

You like him, don't you.

But it was a rhetorical question. I already knew the answer but I denied it anyways. I don't want to get hurt. The only man I ever loved was my father, but that was a mistake and it left me broken. Loving even liking some boy scares the shit out of me.

Because that's when I realized, the walls I built to protect myself,

were slowly crumbling down.

And there was nothing I could do to stop it except watch them fall to the ground.