"It is not death, but dying, which is terrible."--Henry fielding

[36]

bleach overwhelms me as I open my eyes to a bright light. A beep pierces through my ears every second making me groan out loud. I feel so heavy, vulnerable even. My body isn't moving and feels like its paralysed. It's like a ton of bricks are weighing me down, suffocating me.

I close my eyes momentarily, trying to grab hold of my surroundings. The intensity of the light still manages to seep its way through my eyelids. I sigh before blinking my eyes open again and taking a look at the room where someone has captured me in.

It's definitely not my room, so, where?

After a few more minutes, the blinding light subsides to a duller brightness. The fact that I haven't put the pieces together yet has truly amazed me.

The smell of bleach, the annoying beep in my ears, the unfamiliar room, even the lighting. Really, Isabelle? I know where I am and I know why.

I'm in the hospital. It's because of them, again.

Suddenly, the ward door opens. I jump in fright and quickly look over at the culprit. A nurse in bright blue scrubs and disposable gloves stands before me, grinning from ear to ear.

"I'm glad to see you're awake, Isabelle!" She cheers happily. The nurse walks over to me and gently grabs hold of my arm, adjusting the IV needle. I flinch away from her and stare silently.

"You've been out for quite some time, you must have been hit quite hard," she mumbles, more to herself than anything. I shrug my shoulders and lean my head back on the uncomfortable pillow underneath me.

"Some people would like to see you. I'll go grab them..." she says before leaving the room.

My heart begins to speed up at the thought of Adam, Nolan and Lily. It feels like for ages since I've last seen them. I close my eyes and softly smile as I remember the last time I was in the hospital. I definitely wouldn't have survived without all of them.

My family.

Finally, after a few more minutes of waiting, the ward doors open revealing a very despair filled Adam. My heart clenches at the sight and I shakily reach my hand out to him. Adam walks over to the bed and presses his lips against my forehead.

"I missed you, Prezioso..." he murmurs against my skin.

"How long have I been out for?" I mumble quietly. Adam looks down at me before grabbing a seat from behind him and grabbing my hand, entwining our fingers together.

"Too long. Two days, maybe? It's felt like an eternity though..." he mutters. I warmly smile at him and bring his knuckles to my lips, kissing them.

"I'm fine now..." I reply. Adam smiles at me, but still, his eyes aren't quite shining like they usually are.

"Where's Lily and Nolan?" I suddenly ask after a short silence. Adam turns his eyes to the side where I see a glassy layer of tears. He clenches his fist into a ball before looking back up at me.

"Isabelle," he mumbles. "Lily's in a coma..."

His words are like an echo that won't shut up. All at once, everything hits me hard. I lie still in my hospital bed, my body isn't moving, my eyes not blinking. Finally, my shaky hands begin to mess with the tips of my hair anxiously in thought.

I bite down on my lip - hard enough to draw blood – just to stop myself from bursting into tears. The familiar lump of despair lodges itself in my throat.

"Why did this happen to her, Adam?" I whimper, the tears finally freeing themselves. Adam just sadly shakes his head and stares me in the eyes.

"She's strong, Prezioso, she's got too much to live for to just leave..." Adam says. I nod my head before Adam rests his head in my lap.

Not too long after, we both find ourselves falling into an uncomfortable sleep.

No matter how hard I try, I always feel my eyes prick with tears whenever I look over at Lily. My best friend now lies in bed, not moving, almost dead. The way her skin would always glow in the sun, it's now so pale and cracked.

I remember the way she used to complain about how I had this natural beauty. Apparently, while I was shining ever so brightly on the hill, she would be down the valley, in the grass, looking up at me because she said and I quote.

'I look like a fat cow compared to you...'

Always looking on the bright side, right?

A truth can always hide behind the revolting scent of bleach. A truth where my best friend lies on the brink of death on thin sheets. My best friend, Lily Harley.

The doctors say they're surprised she's made it this far without any complications. We know that Lily's strong and wouldn't just leave because she doesn't want to live any longer. If anything, I would be the one to leave before her.

It seems like for ages since I last saw Nolan. He went to get some coffee just before I arrived in the private room that Lily now lies in. I continuously wipe my eyes as I can't shake the thought that the reason why my friend lying on this bed is all my fault.

I know it is, I just would like to think it wasn't. Nobody will correct me when I say that if I wasn't friends with Lily in the first place, then maybe she'll still be her usual bubbly self, telling us to get over ourselves and stop being such moody bitches.

Only my best friend would do that...

A soft knock on the door awakens me and I look up abruptly. At the disheartened sight of Nolan, I quickly rush over to him and elope him in a hug. We stand like this for a while before a feel a warm moisture wet my shoulder.

Nolan's body shakes as he grips my body closer to his. I'm his only comfort at the moment beside his parents. The rich and well-known millionaires Mr and Mrs Harley I met for the first time on my eighteenth birthday.

Mrs Harley hasn't gotten out of bed for days and as far as I know for Mr Harley, he visits as much as he can. I fear that if Lily were to pass – they'd both regret not seeing her enough and this only makes my heart clench even more.

I was discharged from hospital yesterday and wasn't planning on actually leaving until Adam had practically pushed me through the doors in the most uncomfortable wheelchair I have ever sat on. He forced me to sleep and so that I had enough energy for today when I came to see Lily.

I partly thank him for that. Partly.

I pull away from Nolan and rub his arms gently, whispering things like, 'She'll be fine', and 'She loves us too much to leave just...'

A doctor appears in my line of vision and looks over at us sympathetically. My heart sinks and I bite my cheeks in anticipation. He steadily makes his way over to us and diverts his vision over to his notes on the clipboard.

"As much as this hurts me to say this, but Ms Harley's condition hasn't been improving." His words splinter me and hurt more than all the times I had been beaten by Gary and David who were now securely locked in prison.

The world suddenly begins to blur while all the sounds around me soon become to muffle as noises of nothing. My senses dull as the world around me spins as the tears make their way down my cheeks, the sensation of numbness filling my body.

They've already given up on her and she hasn't even been in here for two weeks. My breathing becomes ragged as I sit quietly. Seconds pass and no words are passed around the room. The doctor quickly excuses himself, but I capture his eyes on the way out.

Guilt.

My dear best friend is going to die and we all know it. Finally, my breath comes back to me in gasps. My eyes fill with tears as I look back up at Adam and Nolan who are both doing the same thing as me.

Wanting more than anything for our friend to live, but, we only have time, not eternity with her. Lily Harley is going to die and I know no-one is going to be prepared for when it happens.

My dear best friend...gone.