Now that I've lost everything to you

You say you wanna start something new

And it's breakin' my heart you're leavin'

Baby, I'm grievin

-Cat Stevens

Octavia

After a torturous 2 weeks, I feel a little more confident about my fighting skills. Atia was right, we are better than I thought. I just need to keep reminding myself that I'm a fighter, that I'm not the weak pathetic wolf who left Novilunium pack.

Damion has been avoiding me like the plague, I'm still awaiting that dreaded rejection. Although, I can't help but wonder why he's dragging it out like this.

Maybe he wants to give it a chance

I can't even think like that, I'm forever destined to be alone. If he really wanted me, he wouldn't allow that disgusting she-wolf near him. He wouldn't allow her to even touch his perfectly sculpted body. With those hands that I have graciously allowed her to keep.

Attacking her right now would only attract negative attention, the last thing I want to do is bring awareness to our complicated relationship, or lack there of. Regardless, people don't need to know that I'm his mate. They'll try kill me, or worse, kill my friends. I've seen too much blood shed to ever let that happen again. Which is why I need to train harder so I'm never that weak girl, who couldn't stand up for herself, again. This time when I see my enemies, the only one being feared will be me. Everyone who ever harmed me, will regret the day they laid a finger on me. The scared little girl is gone, In her place is a pissed off she wolf, ready to make them all hurt.

The tournament is next week. My days have been spent training, getting food and going to bed. I've seen Miki and Nik in passing, her sympathetic looks give me hope that she misses me as much as I miss her. I hate that we haven't been able to see each other, I understand that Nik has her consumed with training. They're just doing what's best for their future, still makes me sad though. Gavin has also been MIA, probably training hard to stay in this pack. He doesn't seem like the type to miss an opportunity to prove he's the strongest, and the most arrogant.

This morning I found a note under my door telling me to meet them in the woods after everyone leaves the training ground. I should probably just ignore it, but a small part of me hopes it's Damion finally reaching out. Not that I need him to reject me now, the timing couldn't be worse for that, I just miss him so much and it's killing me being away from him.

I watch carefully as the last group of warriors make their way back to the pack house for the meal.

A meal I hope I won't miss

Making my way into the dark wilderness, I can't help but feel anxious. I'm I even prepared to get rejected. I wanted to stay here permanently. This is the only place that I've ever been accepted, even allowed to train.

I gulp down my nervousness, treading deeper into the woods. I can hear the sound of a stream near by, so I know I'm close. Just then, a dark silhouette comes into view. His back is facing me, so I can't make out who it is yet. Slowly he turns around, a big smile across his face.

"I'm glad you were able to sneak away and meet me" Gavin laughs, walking closer towards me

"What's with the creepy meeting spot, Gavin. You almost gave me a heart attack" I say, leaving out the part I was expecting Damion.

"I was meaning to find you sooner, but I haven't had the chance. Training has been non stop and I had to leave for a few days for personal reasons. Which is why I called you out here tonight. I've received news about Juda" he says.

Oh goddess, what now

"What's going on with him now" I ask nervously, dreading the on coming news he's about to share.

"My insider tells me that some of his warriors are planning to participate in the tournament next week. He will personally be seeing to their safe arrival" he tells me. Watching me carefully as I digest this news

What the hell

"I don't understand why they would even come. Did the Alpha approve this" I cry out, trying to hold back my tears. Just thinking about him coming here brings up so many emotions, years of trauma trying to resurface.

"Apparently he's ok with it, they think it will be a good way to show the surrounding packs just how strong this pack is. Not that they need to show off, Alpha Damion could crush them all personally without ever having to shift into Gray. Im hoping this opportunity to fight in the tournament gives me a spot in this pack, I'd never want to be on the bad side of Alpha Damion" he says, stepping closer to me preparing to try and comfort me.

"I-I just don't know what to do. I'm scared that even Damion won't be able to stop Juda from taking me back" I say

I'm afraid that Damion will let him take me back

"Don't worry O, even if the Alpha doesn't stop Juda. I definitely will. I won't let anything happen to you, I promise" he whispers, slowly wiping away a lone tear from my cheek.

He looks directly into my eyes, still holding his hand to my cheek. Gently rubbing his thumb in soft circles, carefully caressing me. I can't deny how attractive he is, his deep blue eyes, make me feel like I'm swimming in the ocean every time I look in them. In my daze, he closes the distance between us, leaving a soft but alluring kiss on my lips.

"I'm sorry, O. I shouldn't have done that" he says. Slowly backing away from me.

Why am I not repulsed by it

"It's okay" I reply "I just didn't think you thought of me like that" I say.

He runs his hands through his hair, letting out a sigh. Turning his attention back to me

"I'm not even sure why I did that" he says "part of me wants revenge so badly, I know it will kill Juda to see you with me , of all people. But the longer I stay around you. The more I see that you are an amazing person. You deserve all the best things in the world, O. And if you'd let me, I will do my best to give them to you" he tells me. Walking closer to me again.

"I-I don't know what to say, Gavin" I reply. Fidgeting with my hands, trying to avoid eye contact.

He steps even closer, reaching out for my hands. Bringing them slowly to his lips, leaving a warm kiss on them.

"I know we aren't mates, but both of ours have rejected us. The moon goddess hasn't given me a second chance mate, and I don't think she will. I'd like to try to have a chance with you, if you are willing" he quietly whispers, bringing his warm hand to my cheek again. His eyes darting to my lips, knowing that he's about to kiss me again.

Slowly leaning down, preparing to close the distance between us again. He places his arm behind me, holding on tight while he pushes his warm body against me.

As he's closing in, a loud howl pierces through the night sky. A howl that I've only heard once before, one time being enough for me. The person at the end of that howl, is a walking nightmare. His howl makes every hair on my body stand up, terror washing over me in waves.

"Who is that" I hear Gavin ask

But before I even think to respond. I do something insane.

I run