Love's gonna find you yes it is

You just can't hide

You'll hear it call

Your heart will fall

-the j geils band

Octavia

It's been 2 weeks of hell watching Catiyana flirt with Damion. He just stands there allowing this to take place before me. Why is he even taking this long to come reject me, is he so selfish that he has to torture me first.

The training with Miki has been non stop. I've told her that I need all the extra help I can get.

Especially if I want to kick this bitches ass. Catiyana I'm coming for you

Even Gavin has been helping me with my hand to hand combat. With his time as a rouge, he picked up a lot of different fight skills from areas he was passing through.

Maybe that will help me when Damion kicks me out after his rejection

Nik told us yesterday that the Gamma, Justin is going to hold a fighting competition next month, before the warriors are sent back to their pack. He said that they want to assess their progress and give our warriors a little bit of fun. Apparently anyone on pack lands can join the tournament, the winner will be given a new ranked spot directly under the Gamma. A position I'm sure, will never be made available again any time soon.

People kill mercilessly to have a spot under Gamma Justin, or so Miki has told me. She said Nik has trained for years to secure a position and the best he's got was the 1st rank border patrol. A high honor, but still not a member of the personal entourage.

Being a member of the personal entourage means better living quarters, highest respect and personally serving beside Damion. Men and women alike kill for a spot beside him. Not that I can blame any of them, he is a gorgeous specimen. Just being near him is terrifying and exhilarating at the same time. He is intimidating and scary, his eyes make you feel like you are swimming in a sea of darkness. His aurora makes you want to cry and pray for salvation, pleading for the Moon Goddess above to save you from this monster.

His face draws you in, making you wish that you could be that tiny bead of sweat, caressing his brow.

His muscles make you want to beg, to be held firmly against a wall, while he ravishes your body. While he grips a fistful of your hair, and trails his fangs down your neck, teasing that sensitive spot begging to be marked.

Holy shit

How did I digress so quickly

He's consuming every thought I have. Every moment that passes me during the day are constantly spent daydreaming about him. He's deep inside of my thoughts, I'm going insane. I'm getting to the point where I will lose control to Atia if he doesn't reject me soon. She, nor I, can handle watching the disgusting display that is constantly torturing us each time we see them together.

The harder I train, the better chance I have of kicking her ass before I leave this place. Plus, I need to make sure I'm prepared in case Juda finds me again. I really hope that he ends this stupid obsession, and I hope that the reason Gavin hasn't had any updates is because he gave up.

Surely that's it...right

We have 3 more weeks before this tournament, I will not even rest to make sure I'm ready for it. I definitely won't stand a chance against our own pack members, but I will kick everyone's ass who isn't.

We are stronger than you think O, I hear Atia say

We can take down anyone who stands In our way, just trust in me and trust in yourself, she continues.

How could I possibly take down a badass she-wolf like Miki, not to mention her Goliath mate. Atia is overly confident about all of this.

Miki and Nik will be so caught up in training that I'll be on my own anyway, unless I can convince Gavin to spare a few hours with me. This tournament means so many opportunities for the winner, I don't think I'll be seeing any of my friends for quiet sometime during the next 3 weeks.

Looks like it's just Atia and I again