There's a war inside my head

Sometimes I wish that I was dead, I'm broken

-Bebe Rexha

The light from the full moon is guiding me to the

hidden spot, the spot where I planned to shift for the first time.

That's if I even have a wolf. She probably left me since I'm so pathetic, like everyone says.

I'm so scared that all the years of abuse forced her to leave me, or worse, die.

Just as I'm closing In on the spot, I hear the loud howl coming from behind me.

Juda.

He's hunting me.

He swore at school that he would give me pain worse than death if he found me outside tonight. I'm sure it will be death now that his wolf thinks I'm his mate. Juda will never allow his wolf to be with me. The only way to fix that is to break the bond, or kill me. Knowing him, he will chose the latter.

I have to hurry, Moon Goddess, please let me shift soon. I need my wolf to help me. I need to be strong.

I'm so terrified.

A sharp pain in my abdomen causes me to stop sprinting, I grabbed the closest tree for support.

My shift

I let go of the tree and a sudden wave of darkness consumes me.

"Hello Octavia, I'm Atia. I'm so happy we are finally together"

"Atia?" I say, with tears in my eyes.

"Yes, I'm finally here with you. You are no longer alone. Please don't be scared. I am here to protect you. I will never leave you" she replied.

"It's time for us to seal our bond, listen to me closely and we will get through this together"

My heart was racing, I was so nervous.

"Does it hurt" I asked.

"Only the first few times, once your body adjusts. It will get better. But with you being so small and weak in human form. It might take longer to adjust. Now that I am with you. We will get stronger" she said.

"Now Octavia, you have to do this quickly. I sense another wolf approaching and I can't help you until we seal our bond"

I nodded, slowed my breathing and waited for her instructions.

"Just get down on all fours, and relax your mind. Think about the image you imagine me being. And then will your body to become that"

So I did what she said, then I heard bone popping and I let out an uncontrollable scream.

What felt like hours, was really a couple of minutes. Then I was looking at two beautiful dark brown paws.

"I did it, Atia. We did it. Oh my gosh I need to see what we look like. I know we are beautiful" I said overjoyed.

I was finally a wolf.

Finally going to be stronger.

And finally I wasn't alone. I had someone who would always be with me.

The one thing I've craved, desperately needed.

Family.

Behind me a twig snapped, pulling me back into reality. I turned around to see a giant black wolf growling behind us.

Without warning I was hit by the most wonderful aroma.

That scent again, what is it.

It's like fresh flowers and strawberries. So delicious. I'm almost drooling...

"Shift"

I stand there, dazed and confused. The mixing aromas muddle up my mind. I can't think clearly.

"SHIFT MUTT" the wolf said again, this time with the alpha command.

My body forcefully goes back into my human form and now I'm standing here fully naked in front of a huge black wolf.

In front of Juda.

He turns around for a second and I see that he's also shifting back. I take this opportunity to grab the clothes that I had stashed early today and slipped them on. He stood up in all his naked glory and locked eyes with me again. Being naked around wolves is normal in our society, but in my case it just brings fear and shame. Shame to ever display my disgusting body.

"I thought I told you not to come out tonight mutt" he said.

"I'm sorry Juda, I didn't have a choice. I was going to shift tonight" I replied.

"Do you think I care? I warned you what would happen if you did. Now you'll regret it" he growls, looking like he's going to bite my face off or rip out my throat.