《Touch me like you do》Chapter 47
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As soon as the words slipped out of my mouth, I felt Jason go very still. I could hear the thudding of his heart against my ear. I waited for him to say something but he remained silent. If not for the tension in his body, or the way his breathing had suddenly changed, I would have thought he was sleeping.
The silence stretched and with each second that passed I felt my mortification grow. He was awake and he had heard me, but he was choosing to ignore me. I squeezed my eyes shut as rejection washed over me.
It couldn't have been more than a minute, but it felt like more than that, when I finally felt him turn his head to look down at me. I kept my eyes closed not wanting him to see the sudden tears that had sprung up in them.
I heard him exhale softly and then he kissed my hair before turning his face away from me. I didn't know what to think of it. I was confused, hurt and suddenly so drowsy. The sedatives were finally kicking in strong.
When I woke up the next morning, Jason was sitting on the couch, his laptop open on his lap. He hadn't yet realized I was awake so I took the time to study him. It appeared he had stayed all night because he was still dressed in last night's clothes.
His hair was tousled, falling over his forehead. He was rarely clean-shaven but the stubble that covered his jaw was longer than usual. It wasn't quite a beard but he looked rougher. More rugged. And so incredibly sexy. The aroma of gourmet coffee wafted through the air and I noticed the coffee pot and mug on the glass table in front of him. He basically lived off coffee.
He must have felt me watching him because he suddenly looked up from his laptop. "Hey." He smiled getting up. "Morning." So casual, as if he had already forgotten what happened the previous night. "How are you feeling?"
Rejected. "I feel fine." I managed a smile. "Can you call the nurse? I need to use the bathroom."
He pressed the buzzer above my head and crouched over me. "You sure you are fine?" He murmured grazing the back of his knuckles on my cheek.
I nodded weakly. He frowned, his intense gaze raking over my face as if trying to see through me. "Okay." He said finally. "I have to go into office. I'll be back before lunch."
After Nurse Amari finished giving me the sponge bath, she dressed me in a fresh hospital gown. For the first time since I woke up from the coma, I had gotten a look at myself from the mirror that morning. I looked horrible, as if I had been run over by a truck. My face was too pale, eyes sunken and the faint bruise on my left temple made me look worse.
But the biggest surprise of all was finding the shaved spot on the back of my head. It was where the doctors had inserted the tube into my skull to drain the fluid in my brain.
"Your hair will grow back in no time." Nurse Amari commented seeing the look of horror on my face. "Don't worry about it."
After breakfast, I took a nap again. It seemed as if I was always tired. When I woke up, mom, Paige and Hal were there. Cheryl and Jason's parents also dropped by.
Jason's parents, Lily and Daniel were so sweet towards me and it made me feel guilty somehow. I wondered if they knew how much I had hurt their son.
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They left after sometime but Cheryl stuck around for a while later. She told me she was leaving to Jamaica later that day for a photo shoot. "I'll come see you as soon as I get back." She said as she sat on the bed by my side. She then leaned forward and lowered her voice. "Did you mean what you said last night?"
I shot her a confused look.
She smiled. "You told Jason you love him."
"How did you know?" I gaped at her.
"I went by his office before coming here. He was in a lousy mood and I got him to talk about what was bothering him." She took my hand and squeezed. "I know he acted like an ass and ignored you, but in his defense, he thought it was the sedatives in your body talking, not you."
"Oh." Understanding dawned on me. Hope fluttered inside me and with that came excitement. "I do love him. More than anything." I said to Cheryl.
"I knew it." A broad smile lit up her face. "Okay, so here's what you should do. When he comes back today, talk to him. Tell him everything and be honest with your feelings."
"But what if he..."
"No. No what ifs." She cut me off. "That man is so in love with you. And you feel the same way. Don't let the what ifs and doubts cloud your head."
"He's hurting, Kate. You broke his heart." She continued gently. There was no accusation in her voice. She was just being honest. "And right now, he is just as scared as you. Maybe more. Just telling him you love him won't be enough. You have to show him you mean it. Show him that you are never running away from him again."
"I need to make him believe he can trust me with his heart." I murmured, more to myself than her.
"Exactly." She grinned and then glanced at the slim Rolex on her wrist. "I have to go now. Got a lot to do before my flight." She squeezed my hand again. "It's going to be okay. Don't worry too much, okay? Just be honest about your feelings to him."
I nodded, feeling happier than I had been in a long time. After Cheryl left, Paige excitedly brought her iPad to me. "Look at this." She said pointing to the screen. It was a piece done in a celebrity gossip magazine about Cheryl accompanied by some pictures.
"This is nothing new. The paps always follow her wherever she goes." I said looking at Paige.
"The picture, Kate." She sighed. "Take a closer look."
I did. It showed Cheryl outside a high-end restaurant with two other females. I finally understood what Paige was so excited about. "It's you and mom."
"Yes. Can you believe it? This was last night when she took us out to dinner." She grinned. Hal took the iPad from me and started reading the article.
It was just then that the door opened and Jason walked in followed by Nathan. Paige was saying something to mom but her voice trailed off immediately when she saw them. I couldn't blame her. Jason and Nathan were both drop dead gorgeous in their own way, and seeing them together side by side could make any woman speechless.
Nathan was dressed formally in a black suit while Jason looked more casual in a pair of distressed blue jeans and a white shirt with the sleeves carelessly rolled up. He had shaved, but there was still a day's worth of scruff on his jaw.
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"I didn't know what to bring so I got you this." Nathan said holding out the enormous plush yellow banana pillow.
"Oh, this is great, I love it." I said happily as he put the huge pillow next to me on bed. "Thank you."
He bent down and pressed a quick kiss on my cheek. "How are you feeling?"
"Much better now." I smiled and then glanced at Jason who had seated himself on the bed next to me. I remembered what Cheryl said about not hiding my feelings. "I missed you."
He blinked. "You did?"
"Yes." I reached out and clutched the collar of his shirt and pulled him close. Enjoying the surprise on his face, I kissed him. I had intended to keep it light, since we were not alone, but when I felt him kiss me back, I forgot we had an audience. When he finally pulled back, I was breathless.
Everyone in the room was looking at us, with smiles of their faces, and I felt my cheeks heat up. Jason smirked, obviously finding humor in my embarrassment. A few minutes later, Paige and mom left with Hal, saying they were going to try out the coffee in the café' downstairs.
"I brought you something." Jason said holding out a white bag which had the apple store logo on it.
I didn't know what to say when he pulled out the latest MacBook Air and iPhone out of it. "I've installed all your favorite applications and music on it." He said giving me the phone. "And there's Netflix on the laptop so you won't be bored while you're stuck here."
I knew how he didn't like it when I hesitated in accepting his gifts so I took the phone from him. "Thank you." It was really thoughtful of him. "But you know, I'll never get bored as long as you're with me."
I had to bite my lips to keep from smiling. Jason looked so flustered. He wasn't used to me being so open and honest about my feelings. He was no doubt wondering what the hell was going on with me.
He regarded me softly then turned to face Nathan, who was watching us with amusement on his face. "I'll see you later."
Nathan grinned lazily. "What, you're kicking me out?"
"Yes. Get out."
Nathan gave an elaborative sigh, came over to me and kissed my cheek. "See he is rude. I don't know what you see in him, Kate." He winked and then turned to a scowling Jason. "Wipe that scowl off your face. I'm leaving. Call me if you need anything."
"I will. See you, man."
When he left, Jason turned his attention back to me. The intensity of his gaze was unnerving. "What's going on, Kate?"
I felt some of my bravery slipping away under his gaze. "What do you mean?"
For a moment, I thought I glimpsed a trace of anger in his eyes but it was gone so quickly. "You know exactly what I mean. Two weeks ago, you wanted nothing to do with me. But now, ever since you woke up from the coma, you've been acting different."
He raked a hand through his hair in frustration. His face was etched with something I couldn't read and his usual air of confidence was gone. "You are giving me all these signs that make me think that you want me and I'm struggling here, afraid I'm reading too much into it."
Without saying anything I took his hand in mine. His eyes went from our interlocked hands to my face. Seeing that vulnerable look in his eyes, my heart ached with love for him. I had hurt him so much, was still continuing to hurt him. "I meant what I said last night."
His expression didn't change, but I could feel the way his body tensed. I squeezed his hand and held his gaze. "I love you, Jason. I'm so completely in love with you."
The look on his face was priceless. My admittance seemed to have rendered him speechless. So I continued. "I should have said this a long time ago but I was just too scared to admit it. So afraid you would break my heart in the end." I swallowed the sudden lump that had formed in my throat. "But now I know that I'm breaking my own heart by staying away from you. And I don't want to spend the rest of my life without you."
Jason was staring me, as if he dared not believe what I was saying. But then he moved, cupping my face with both hands. And when he talked, his voice was hoarse. "Say it again. Tell me you love me again."
"I love you." I whispered. "I love you so much." I could have kept repeating the three words tirelessly for as long as he wanted but the next second his mouth was on mine, kissing me with a desperation that rocked my very soul. I trembled under the intensity of it, my hand curling on his nape.
He broke away slowly and rested his head forehead against mine. "You've no idea how long I've waited to hear you say those words." He kissed me again, slowly, lingeringly, until the blood was pounding in my ears. "I love you, baby." He murmured against my lips. "More than I ever thought it possible to love anyone."
Happiness bubbled inside me. I couldn't ever recall being so happy ever in my life. There were still so many things to talk about, so many questions, but all that could wait. Right now, nothing mattered except for the taste of his lips. I didn't know how long we kissed but when he finally pulled away, my lips were swollen and tingling. I clung to him wanting more of him, needing more
"We have to stop." He groaned burying his face in my neck. I held him with one arm, while I tried to get my breathing under control. It was crazy how he could make my body hum with need with just a touch. Every time he touched me I forgot we were at the hospital.
Jason's phone rang suddenly making both of us jump. He made no move to answer it, just kept his face pressed into my neck.
"Aren't you going to get it?" I asked kissing the side of his nape.
"I need a minute." He made a low groan at the back of his throat. Looking down at the front of his jeans, I could see how painfully aroused he was.
With a smile, I brushed his hair away from his forehead. I just couldn't seem to keep myself from touching him. "I love you."
"I don't think I'll ever get tired of hearing you say that." He pressed a quick kiss to the corner of my mouth. "I love you too."
His phone started ringing again and he pulled it out of his pocket. The name flashing on the screen made me frown.
Delia.
I couldn't believe it. It was as if she somehow knew every time Jason and I were having a moment and she just had to interfere.
"I don't know why she's calling me." Jason quickly said. He sounded anxious, fear visible in his eyes. As if he was afraid of how I would react. "I haven't talked to her since that night at my parent's house."
"I believe you."
He looked relieved but his expression turned into a scowl the next second. There were two text messages from Delia. He opened them and each one said she missed him and wanted to talk to him.
"If you want I'll block her number."
Out of all the women in the world he chose me and I wasn't going to let any of my old doubts and insecurities come between us anymore. We both had been hurt enough by my insecurities. "No. I trust you."
He studied my face intently. "You do?"
"Yes." I touched his face reassuringly. "I was too afraid before, thinking you would break my heart. I didn't think I would ever be enough for you. But you've been so patient with me, loving me even when I treated you so bad, always showing me how much you care." My heart squeezed painfully when I thought of how much I had hurt him. "I'm so sorry for how I acted. For hurting you. I was so so stupid. I shouldn't have..."
"Hey. You did what you thought was right for you at that time. Don't berate yourself like this. Besides, it doesn't matter anymore. We've got each other now." He kissed me then, a slow, sweet kiss that made my entire body tremble.
Drawing back, he cupped my face with both hands. "I need you to do something for me."
"Anything."
"Promise me you won't run from me."
"I won't."
"If anything happens, you will talk to me first instead of thinking the worst."
It was at that moment I realized he was scared. Scared that I would leave him again. Despite the fact that I had told him I trusted him, he still wasn't convinced. And I couldn't blame him. I had walked away from him twice now.
He looked so serious and I wanted to lighten the mood. "And by anything, are you referring to the constant female attention you get?" I teased with a smile.
His expression didn't change. Sighing, I took both of his hands in mine. "Look, I know you'll always have women throwing themselves at you. I can't really blame them. I mean, look at you. You're so damn gorgeous, so sexy and perfect in every way."
His lips pulled back into a smirk. "I am?"
I playfully hit his arm. "As if you don't know." His smirk deepened into a grin that made my heart flip. I didn't think I would ever get used to it. "As I was saying, I can't stop women from chasing you. But I know you won't do anything that would hurt me. I trust you. I have faith in you, faith in your love for me."
"And I won't ever make you regret that." His voice was low, his eyes reflected with vulnerability. "Don't ever leave me again, baby. It would kill me."
My heart constricted. I caressed his face gently, leaning in slightly to kiss him. "Now that I've got you, I don't plan on giving you up ever. I'm all yours."
He was smiling against my mouth. "Every inch of you?"
"Every single inch. All yours forever."
Then he was kissing me, making me forget everything but him.
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