❦Kate❦

I had to stop thinking about Jason. I told myself for the millionth time as I stared at the screen of my laptop. I was sitting at the kitchen table, trying to finish some last-minute tasks before my trip to Bali the following day. But as much as I tried I couldn't focus on work. My thoughts kept returning to him.

Three days ago, I had gone to his office for our last meeting, where I provided him with the final updates on the hotel project. It had been downright torturous spending almost two hours in the conference room with him.

He had seemed as if he wasn't the least affected by my presence and sported an entirely unapproachable aura that I wasn't used to from him. He had seemed so formidable and so impossibly remote, his face a mask of cool, detached politeness. I knew I should be relieved that he was keeping his distance from me but all I felt was a deep, indescribable sense of pain.

I had known I would miss him but I hadn't expected to feel so much. I missed him with an intensity that hurt physically. I missed everything about him. The way his eyes flashed in amusement, his heart melting smile, the way he looked at me with so much hunger. I missed his touch, his masculine scent and his kisses.

God, how much I missed the taste of him. I spent the past nights tossing in bed unable to sleep because his thoughts haunted me. I ached for the feel of him inside me, his hands and mouth on me. It was driving me crazy.

Sighing, I pressed my knuckles against my eyes. As much as it hurt, I knew I had done the right thing by breaking it off with him.

For the past month, I had been ignoring the reality and living an impossible dream. And seeing Jason with Delia had brought me crashing back to reality. They had looked so perfect together, her beauty complimenting his impossibly good looks. It had made me question what exactly he saw in me. I was a far cry from the well-polished, sophisticated women he was used to.

So how could he be in love with someone like me? Even though my heart wanted to believe he really meant it, my mind just refused to accept it.

I was pulled out of my thoughts when I heard the doorbell ring. I wasn't expecting anyone and even though I was tempted to ignore whoever it was, I got up and went to the door.

"Hal?" I was surprised to see him at the door. "What are you doing here?"

"Well, hello to you too." He said dryly. "So glad I decided to spend my lunch break with you."

My lips curved into a smile. "Sorry. You just caught me by surprise." Pressing a kiss to his cheek I let him in. "Is that food?" I spotted the brown paper bag he was clutching in his hand and gave him a hopeful look.

"Yeap. Thought you might be hungry so I brought you a sandwich too."

"Oh, you're a lifesaver." I said gratefully. "I'm starving." The tantalizing smell of garlic, cheese and pepperoni wafted out of the bag and I took an appreciative sniff. My stomach grumbled, reminding me that I hadn't eaten anything since lunch the previous day.

We walked into the kitchen and Hal pulled up a stool at the kitchen counter and sat down.

"So how's things with you and Andy now?" I asked pulling two cans of soda from the fridge and handing one to him.

"Good, I guess. We talked over dinner the other night and he apologized for being so distant lately. He said it was just work stress."

"I hate to say 'I told you so' but..."

"No, you don't." With a laugh, he started unwrapping our lunch. "You are just happy to tell me I was wrong."

"Yep." I shot him a smug smile and pulled up a stool next to him. I was really glad he decided to come over. His presence provided me with a much needed distraction from the thoughts of Jason, however momentary it was.

"You have any plans for tonight?" He asked before taking a bite out of his sandwich.

I sighed thinking of the basket of freshly laundered clothes sitting in my bedroom. "Not unless you call putting away laundry plans."

He grinned. "Good. You are going clubbing with me and Andy then."

"Oh, I don't know..."

"C'mon, don't say no, please. I've already booked a table at The Eclipse."

"Eclipse?" I raised my eyebrows in surprise. "Is tonight a special occasion?" Eclipse was one of the most exclusive nightclubs in town and very expensive. I was sure Hal must have spent a small fortune on reserving a table.

"It's Andy's birthday tonight."

"Oh." I hesitated. "Are you sure you don't want to celebrate alone, just the two of you? I don't want to intrude."

"Now you're being ridiculous. You're never an intrusion. You know that."

He looked so miffed, I couldn't help grinning. "Okay, fine, I'll go."

He suddenly looked thoughtful. "Tell you what, why don't you see if Jason is free to join us? We can do a double-date." Excitement glinted in his eyes, "I haven't seen him since you guys started dating and I think it's high time we met."

I was about to take a bite out my sandwich and my hand froze halfway to my mouth. I hadn't got a chance to tell him about what happened between me and Jason yet.

"Hey, what's wrong?" He noticed the sudden change in me and was staring at me in concern. "You've gone so pale. What is it?"

To be honest I didn't want to talk about it at the moment. But Hal would keep on asking until I told him what was bothering me. Taking a deep breath, I blurted out. "I broke up with Jason."

He stared at me, shock replacing the concern on his face. He opened his mouth, then shut it, obviously at a loss for words. I knew he would be surprised but I hadn't expected him to look so shocked. "What do you mean you broke up with him?"

I started telling him what happened a week ago and when I finished, he was looking at me like I had lost my mind. "So he confessed his love for you and you reacted by breaking up with him? What on earth were you thinking?"

"He is just confused about being in love."

He shook his head vigorously. "I doubt that. I don't think he would just say that if he didn't mean it."

"Alright, let's just say he really is in love with me. But for how long? What if, say, a few months down the road, he just decides he doesn't love me anymore?"

"That's not fair on him. You don't trust him and you're punishing him for that." Exasperation flooded his face. "You're assuming the worst without even giving him a chance to prove his love for you." His voice softened. "We both know your happiness lies with him. You're miserable without him. It's written all over your face. Don't you think you ought to give him a chance?"

"It's not going to work out." I mumbled, putting down my half-eaten sandwich back on the plate. My appetite was suddenly gone. "I...I can't take a chance I'm not sure about. It's not that easy."

"Why not? I think you're making this harder than it has to be."

I stared at Hal, my fingers idly playing with the hem of my shorts. "Seeing him with Delia that night was sort of an eye-opener. It made me realize how vulnerable I am when it comes to him, how much power he has over me. He could break my heart so easily."

"I get what you're saying, but honey, there's no safe way to love someone. It is supposed to be a little scary. When we love someone, we put everything on the line. There's a chance you might get hurt, but then again, you might not. You just have to be willing to take the risk."

"It's not that easy, Hal. I can't trust him." Swallowing past the sudden lump in my throat, I continued "I'm so insecure when it comes to him, and I hate myself for feeling this way, but I don't know how to get past it. I just love him so much but I can't be with him when I can't trust him to stay."

I looked at him, silently pleading him to understand how confused, scared and emotionally insecure I was. Part of me wanted to do what he said. To go to Jason and tell him that I was in love with him. Take a chance and risk it all. But the other part was warning me of the heartbreak that would follow if I did that.

"Oh, sweetie. I'm sorry if it seems like I'm not being supportive. You know I'm always here for you." Hal shifted his stool closer to mine and then pulled me against him in a comforting way. " It's just that I'm worried you might regret this later. But if you're absolutely sure that this is what you want then..."

"I'm sure." I said quickly, ignoring the way my heart protested.

"But..."

"Please, let's just not talk about this anymore."

"Of course." He murmured and pressed a kiss to my temple before gently drawing away from me. From the look in his eyes I knew he would definitely bring it up later.

Before he left, we made plans to meet outside the nightclub later that night. I didn't really feel like going out and definitely wasn't in the mood for loud music and sweaty bodies. But I didn't want to miss Andy's birthday celebration and besides I figured it would do me good to get out for a while and get my mind off of everything, even if it was for a little while.

When the cab pulled over to the curb in front of the Eclipse nightclub, I paid the fare and got out. The club was located in the heart of the city. There were three different entrances to the club and in front of each one a long line of well-dressed people were waiting to get inside. I spotted Hal and Andy at the back of one line and they waved motioning me to hurry up.

When I reached them, Andy greeted me with a warm hug. "You look amazing, Kate."

"Yeah." Hal agreed giving me an appraising look. "Not that you don't always but wow."

I grinned and tucked my arm through his. "Thanks, so do you guys."

They were both dressed in button down shirts, slim-fit blazers and chinos. I had opted in wearing a dusty pink short dress with a plunging surplice bodice and paired it off with simple black heels. My hair hung about my shoulders in soft waves and the only makeup I wore was the dark smoky eyeshadow and bold red matte lipstick.

"Hang on. You came by a cab." Hal suddenly frowned at me. "Where's Alex? I thought it wasn't safe for you to go anywhere without him?"

Ever since I told him about someone stalking me and taking photographs of me he had been so worried about me. So I flashed him a reassuring smile. "I doubt anything is going to happen to me as long as I'm with you both."

He looked far from convinced and Andy noticed that as well because he squeezed his shoulders. "She is right you know. How can anything happen to her when we are here? Just relax, babe."

Hal nodded albeit reluctantly.

It was an instant decision to take a cab to the club instead of calling Alex. I guessed I wanted to get away from everything that reminded me of Jason for a while. Tonight, I wanted to pretend that everything was fine and normal in my life. And having Alex with me would only remind me how much my life was far from normal.

The bouncer behind the red velvet rope went through the line pretty quickly and a few minutes later he was lifting the rope up and granting us access. Loud music and a crowd of people greeted us when we walked inside. It was nothing like the clubs I had been to before. In fact, it was like entering another world. What seemed like a normal building from outside turned out to be an amazingly luxurious nightclub on the inside.

The walls and floors of the club were in black, with bold splashes of color that shone in the sultry lightening. Different colorful lasers, and a humongous mirror ball contributed to the stunning atmosphere.

There were three levels - the first level consisted of three dance floors, four bars, and a stage where a live DJ was playing. Plush sofas and low tables scattered the floor. The second level was open in the middle with a balcony that overlooked the pulsating dance floors below. The third level, according to Hal, consisted of ultra-exclusive lounges and a swimming pool. Those two levels were strictly reserved for the VIPs.

We were greeted by a hostess who showed us to our reserved table. I ordered a cosmopolitan and Hal and Andy decided on a vodka martini and a Heineken, respectively. Over the next hour, we talked and laughed over more drinks and danced to the latest house music. Even though I was enjoying, Jason was still at the back of my mind. His thoughts refused to leave me.

Hal ordered a bottle of expensive champagne and we raised our glasses in a birthday toast for Andy. "Happy birthday, babe." Hal's eyes were shining with love. "I can't tell you how lucky I'm to have met you." He turned to me and grinned. "And if it weren't for you, that would have never happened. I'm so glad you talked me into going on that cruise trip with you. So cheers to you both."

"Cheers to us!" I laughed and clinked our glasses. "Happy birthday, Andy." I downed the drink in several gulps and as it worked its way into my bloodstream, I felt a wave of dizziness hit me. I shook my head to clear it.

"Come on. Let's dance." Andy said pulling Hal up with him and turning to me.

"You guys go ahead. I think I'll sit this one out." I wanted to give them some time alone with each other. As I watched them sway to the music on the dance floor, wrapped up in each other's arms, I couldn't help smiling fondly and thinking how good they looked together.

"Mind if I join you?" I was startled at the voice and looked up to see Peter standing by the table. His boyish smile failed to hide the nervousness in his eyes. I was so stunned to see him I couldn't even object when he took Hal's empty seat.

I didn't want to appear rude so I gave him a weak smile. Besides, Hal and Andy would return to the table soon so I would only have to talk to him for a few minutes tops.

Clearing my throat, I played idly with the stem of my champagne glass. "What brings you here? I mean you don't even like clubbing."

He laughed. "You're right. Nightclubs aren't really my scene. I'm here with some guys from work."

"Oh."

"I have been made a partner at the law firm so we are celebrating tonight."

"That's wonderful. Congratulations." I was genuinely happy for him.

"Thanks."

He was leaning a bit towards me and feeling uncomfortable by his closeness, I subtly angled my body away from him.

He gestured to my almost empty drink. "Can I buy you a drink?"

"Oh, no, I'm good."

"Okay, how about a dance, then?"

"No, thanks." I declined quickly and almost felt bad when his face fell. An awkward silence fell between us and I sighed glancing around the room. The club was now packed but it wasn't stuffy like the other places. I spotted Hal and Andy making their way to the table through the bodies of people and felt relieved.

I didn't know what made me do it but I looked up towards the second-floor balcony which overlooked the main floor. My breath caught in my throat as my gaze collided with piercing blue ones.

Jason was leaning on the railing, looking straight down at me. Even from the distance I could see the expression on his face. He looked so angry, as if he wanted to murder someone. Even so, my heart burst in joy at the sight of him and I quickly looked down.

When Hal and Andy arrived at the table, Peter got up to leave. He said something to me before leaving but I couldn't hear him over the turmoil in my head.

Andy touched my shoulder. "You alright?"

"Yeah. Just a bit tipsy, I guess."

"Let's get you some water." Hal said and then signaled to a server.

All the while, I felt Jason watching me. And it felt like he had a magnetic hold on me even from the distance because all I wanted to was look up and meet his gaze. Biting my lips, I clutched my drink tightly in my hand, holding on to every bit of self-control I had.