It was like I was floating, adrift in the ocean. The horizon was so close, and yet there were hundreds of sharks out for my blood. Carly was the one person in my life right now keeping me from losing sight of dry land completely. I wanted to get better for her. She deserved so much better than what I was right now.

I was going to do everything I could to be a better man for her – the kind of man she deserved by her side through thick and thin, and the kind of father our baby could look up to and be proud of. I had some work to do, and I had nine months to do it... give or take a few weeks.

I only had two drinks so I wasn't too far gone, but I still didn't want to get behind the wheel right away. I ended up walking around for a while with my hands buried in my pockets. It was still early in the evening so most of the town was still busy and alive.

I stopped at the McDonald's, grabbing a coke and something greasy. I found myself eating alone at a table for two, my eyes wandering around the busy restaurant. Everybody was so wrapped up in their own business and nobody was giving me a damn, which was exactly how I liked it.

Sitting at the table in front of me was a father and his little guy, probably one or two years old. I watched them interact as I ate. The toddler couldn't sit still for two minutes, playing around with ketchup and salt packets, dropping them on the floor and insisting his dad fetch them for him.

That'd be me a year or two from now and for once I wasn't scared.

I finished eating and started walking again; I didn't really have a destination in mind, making my way a couple blocks before doing a U-turn and heading back towards my truck. On my way I stopped at a coffee shop across the street from the bar's parking lot and grabbed a coffee for me, a chai tea for Carly and a box of double chocolate chip cookies.

There was a flower shop not too far away so on a whim I stopped by, getting a bouquet of white tulips, figuring maybe roses – especially red ones – would be a little too cheesy.

When I got to the ranch fifteen minutes later I noticed the lights were on in the main house, so I didn't bother checking the stables first. I had a key, but the door was rarely ever locked so I let myself in.

"Carly?" I called out.

"Upstairs!" she called back, her voice drifting down to meet me.

Not quite ballsy enough to face her just yet, I walked into the kitchen and dropped the hot beverages and the warm cookies onto the counter, right next to the tulips. I looked around in the cabinets quickly and found a vase, which I partially filled with water and added proceeded to put the flowers in.

Without another excuse to stay down here, I took a deep breath and headed up the stairs.

I had many different ways to unwind after a long stressful day; riding was one, watching something on Netflix was another... As of late, sex with John was probably on the very top of my list... but if John wasn't available, then taking a hot bubble bath surrounded by my favorite scented candles was definitely the next best thing.

I was nose-deep in the bubbles, my eyes closed and my toes sticking out at the other end, when I heard his voice.

"Carly?" he called out

My heart skipped a beat. He was home! I felt my whole body relax as relief washed over me. I ran my fingers through my wet hair and sighed, hesitating for a moment longer as I assessed the tone of his voice. Did he sound okay? I couldn't tell for sure.

"Upstairs!" I told him, loud enough so that he'd hear me downstairs.

I didn't hear him again for a little while; I figured he'd gone back to the loft or something. Okay, I thought. He wanted his space and I was going to give it to him.

So instead of calling to him or going out to look for him, I reached onto the counter for my iPod and changed the song, then sunk deeper into the water and so that I was entirely submerged. When I came back up for air half a minute later, I about jumped out of my skin.

"I'm sorry," John said quietly.

He was standing there in the doorway, staring at me.

"Are you okay?" I asked him.

"No," he admitted, making his way over and crouching next to the bathtub. "I love you, you know that right?" he whispered.

"I do," I replied easily, reaching to stroke the side of his face. "And I love you too," I added with a small smile.

"I shouldn't have left like that," he apologized, lacing his fingers with mine. "I just... needed time to think..." he drifted off.

"I know, that's okay," I assured him.

"I want to be somebody you can count on. I want to be the kind of man you deserve, and I want to be a good dad to our little one... and to do that... I think I need help... to deal with what's been goin' on," he said. "I need you. You're just... you're the best thing that's ever happened to me and I know it hasn't been long, but I can't imagine my life without you. I love you... and my God, you're lookin' really hot right now."

I laughed as he leaned over to kiss me, my arms wrapping around his neck and soaking his shirt. "We'll be okay," I whispered against his lips, leaning back just far enough to look at him.

"We'll be okay," he agreed, cupping my face between his hands. "All three of us," he added.

I kissed him again but it wasn't enough. I needed him as much as he needed me, and right now I wanted him closer, his arms wrapped around me.

"Are you gonna get in here so we can make out properly?" I asked playfully, tugging at the front of his shirt.

He stood up to his fullest height and started to undress, his hips moving to the song on my iPod, giving me quite the show.

This man right here, the goofball with the playful grin and the ability to take my breath away so easily, was the man I fell in love with and the man I could imagine myself raising a family with. I couldn't imagine my life without him either.

I laughed as he pulled off the exaggerated strip tease, some of his clothes managing to land all the way into the hall. He stood naked in front of me and I licked my lips, hormones raging within me. I reached for his hand and tugged.

He obeyed without a second thought and climbed into the bath, his mouth finding mine again as our bodies molded together.

"I love you," I murmured against his lips, my fingers tangling in his dark hair.

"You're gonna love me even more when you see what I got you downstairs," John grinned.

"You got me somethin'?" I whispered excitedly, tipping my head back when his kisses started trailing down my throat.

"Mmhm," he answered.