It was only a few minutes later when I heard the creaking of the barn door, followed shortly by heavy footfalls against the old wooden floorboards. I immediately assumed it was John coming back so I spun on my heels to greet him.

My mouth went slack, unspoken words getting caught in my throat. I couldn't hide the disappointment on my face when I saw my cousin making his way over to me with his dusty blond hair, his green eyes and that scruffy beard he insisted on not shaving.

"Hey Car, I saw the lights on, figured you'd be in here... Your ranch hand almost ran me over on his way out of the driveway... guy's got a case of the road rage or somethin'... anyway, I figured I'd come over... check on ya... it's been a while... How're you?" he asked cheerfully.

"Oh, I'm fine," I smiled at him as he came and wrapped his arms around my shoulders in a quick hug.

"Good, good," Dale grinned, strolling right over to Calamity's stall and peering in at the young foal. "Callie's lookin' good... you started halter trainin' her yet?" he added.

"Not yet, but we've been takin' her out... been usin' a lead rope, she's pretty good with that... Right now I'm gettin' her used to other horses and bein' handled by humans... that sort of stuff. She's a little firecracker, that's for sure... John picked her name well," I answered, grateful for the distraction. I stood next to him and watched the young horse.

"Speakin' of the ranch hand, I've uh... heard somethin' in town the other day... Actually, I've been hearin' a bit of talk..." Dale said, looking a little sheepish. He ran his fingers through his hair and shifted his weight from one boot to the other.

"You have?" I asked, playing dumb.

Four months; that's how long John and I had been together at that point, and yet I still hadn't told Dale or my Uncle Scott about our relationship. I didn't know why... it's not like I had anything to be ashamed of... I was just... worried they'd react poorly.

I knew I had to tell them sooner rather than later, especially now that there was a third party added to the equation.

"People are sayin' you two are uh... shackin' up together... and I mean, I get none of it is true, I do, but some of the stuff people are sayin' is gettin' pretty out there... so maybe you should, y'know, reconsider havin' him around so much. Get him to get his own place off the property maybe," he shrugged.

He meant well, I had to remind myself of that and keep my emotions in check.

"Actually, uh... John and I have been seein' each other recently," I admitted after a lengthy pause, deciding that beating around the bush would likely only make things harder in the end.

"How long's that been goin' on?" Dale asked as his brow furrowed.

"A while... Four months," I answered sheepishly.

Dale was stunned into silence, which didn't happen very often with him. He was looking at me like I just announced I was going on a one-way trip to Mars.

"Four months and you're just tellin' me this now?" Dale huffed.

"I'm sorry!" I said quickly, unsure why I was feeling the need to defend myself. "It happened pretty fast and... I knew you and your dad would get all over-protective! You pretty much made David crap his pants when I started datin' him," I told him defiantly.

"Yeah, and he ended up breakin' your heart... so well deserved," Dale shrugged, looking quite unapologetic as he stood in front of me, arms crossed.

"John's a great guy... he treats me right... and I'm pretty sure it takes more than your stupid face to make him crap his pants," I said with a small smile, trying not to think too much about the events that had transpired just moments earlier. "I'm in love with him."

"Wow, so it's serious then," Dale nodded.

"Yeah... pretty serious," I smiled, putting my uninjured hand over my belly. I had to tell him what was going on; he was family, he deserved to know from me and not from the town grapevine. "There's somethin' else too... I found out a couple days ago... um... I'm gonna have a baby," I told him nervously.

For a moment, I wasn't sure he'd heard me.

"I'm pregnant," I whispered.

"I got that," he muttered, running his fingers through his hair. "Shit Carly, are you sure?" he wondered, looking concerned.

"Pretty sure," I nodded.

"Fuck," Dale breathed, followed by a low whistle.

"Yeah, it's pretty unbelievable right now... but we've got an appointment scheduled with Sally Nesbitt on Monday so it'll probably feel a lot more real after that... I just wanted you to know before you hear it on the streets or somethin'. I'll talk to your dad too," I sighed. I was so goddamn exhausted and I wasn't even waddling about yet.

"How's the ranch hand handlin' all this? He ain't gonna bail on you is he?" Dale asked, glancing back towards the driveway.

I bit down on my lower lip and took a deep breath.

"His name is John, and he's handlin' it the same way I am... one day at a time," I told him pointedly, crossing my own arms over my chest. "Don't you dare go and hassle him about all of this... It wasn't his fault... and it wasn't my fault either," I added.

"Yeah," Dale sighed, running his fingers through his hair.

"Yeah," I repeated.

"Sorry, I know, I'm overreacting a little... I just... My dad went through this too, y'know... with my mother... Anyway, I'm sorry... you're not her. You'll be an amazin' mom, Carly. Are you... um... are you okay? Everythin' good?" he asked, glancing down towards my flat belly.

"Oh... yeah, things are okay... It's what you'd expect when... well, when you're expectin'," I chuckled at my own wit, letting out a shaky breath. "There's been a bit of mornin' sickness... although at this point it's afternoon and night sickness too. John says I've been a little moody too, but I think he's just messin' with me..." I shrugged.

"That's good," Dale smiled, giving my shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

"Yeah," I nodded.

"So where's the ranch hand gone off to anyway? Grabbin' you some ice cream and pickles?" Dale smirked.

"He had some stuff he needed to take care of," I said, which wasn't really a lie. "And I'm not cravin' pickles, not yet anyway. Right now I want a peanut butter and jelly sandwich!"

Saturday night was the wrong time to want to get drunk. Buck's Tavern was crowded with people in various states of intoxication and rowdiness, most of them in their early to mid-twenties.

A little reluctantly I found a spot at the bar next to a redheaded girl that seemed like she'd be the most likely to leave me the hell alone. I waved the bartender over and gave him some more work to do.

When I had my first drink in front of me and my wallet was suddenly a little lighter, I took a long swig and let the liquid burn down my throat. I knew in the back of my mind that I really shouldn't be here, and that I really shouldn't be drinking... but I needed to calm myself down, settle the beast that was slowly starting to take over inside of me.

I continued to drink, getting myself a good buzz going.

I needed to forget, if only for a little while.

"I'm assumin' it's a girl?" the redhead next to me asked.

I looked over, not quite sure whether she was even talking to me. Maybe she had one of those Bluetooth doohickeys.

No, she was definitely talking to me.

"Sorry?" I asked.

"The reason for that expression on your face, and why you're drinkin' all by yourself," she stated, running her finger over the rim of her glass. "It has to be a girl, no man looks like that if it's not about a girl," she smiled softly.

"It's just been one of those days," I shrugged dismissively, taking another long swig.

I didn't want to talk about my problems; not with a therapist and certainly not with a random stranger in a bar. I had Carly and the baby to think about though, and they deserved much more than this. They needed me, just like I needed them. I was happy with her, and as scary as it was to think about, I knew in the end this child, my child, would make me happy too. I wanted to be a dad... I just didn't want to be a disappointment or a failure, but so far it seemed my genetics made it so that I was predisposed to both.

"You're John, right? You work for Carly Atwood?" the girl continued to speak, not quite catching the hint that I really didn't want to talk to her.

"Yeah," I replied, taking another drink.

"I'm Mandy, my daughter takes ridin' lessons with her," Mandy introduced herself, holding out her hand. "Caitlyn... you might remember her... You showed her the horses one time a couple months ago. She talked about you for days."

I nodded. It was quite a while back, but I remembered that little girl... admittedly a whole lot more than I did the mother.

"My kids are with their father this weekend so it's just me at home," Mandy went on, taking a sip of her fruity drink and setting it down again. "I had a date with this fella tonight though, my first date in quite a while actually. My friend convinced me to go... I would've been happy with a nice bubble bath and a good book... He should've been here about an hour ago now... I should've gone with the bath," she shrugged, looking a little embarrassed.

"He's an idiot then for standin' you up," I told her. "But unless he's savin' a puppy from a burnin' building, he ain't worth it," I added.

"I am pretty amazin'," she giggled, ducking her head behind a curtain of flaming curls. "So anyway, I've told you my story, you tell me yours," Mandy went on when I didn't say anything else to push the conversation forward.

"I'd really rather not talk about it," I admitted.

"Alright, it's up to you," Mandy smiled, tucking some of her hair behind her ear. She downed the rest of her drink and let her chin rest in the palm of her hand, her body turned towards me. "If you buy me a drink, we could sit here and not talk about it," she added playfully.

I stiffened when her hand came to rest on mine.

"Listen... Mandy," I said tensely, dropping my hand at my side, trying to put a bit of distance between myself and her without seeming too rude about it. "You seem like a nice girl and I'm sorry some asshole stood you up..." I trailed off.

"I feel a 'but' comin' on," Mandy chuckled.

"I've got a girl waitin' for me at home... a great girl, and she's–" I trailed off, realizing this woman probably didn't want to hear me pour my heart out right now. "I'm sorry, I really shouldn't be here at all right now," I told her honestly.

"The nice ones are usually taken... I should've known," Mandy laughed. "Carly's lucky," she added knowingly.

As far as I could see, the lucky one here was me... and instead of being with the woman I loved, I was here in a crowded bar, drinking alone like a damn coward.

"I have to go," I said quickly.