"I want to have sex with John," I told Maisy the week after she returned home from her honeymoon with Darryl.

"Okay, thanks for the information," Maisy snorted.

"No, I mean... for... um, for the first time," I said dumbly, feeling a blush creep up my neck. I gave her a look, hoping she'd understand exactly what I meant. "...my first time."

Her mouth made a perfect 'O'. She nodded.

We were at her house mixing up some margaritas and waiting for our peanut butter brownies to finish baking. Reagan had to work for another hour, but she'd be joining us as soon as she could for a girls' night in. Amy, one of our old friends from high school and a co-worker of Reagan's, would be coming along too. I was actually really looking forward to the night's events; it'd been a while since we got to spend time together without worrying about wedding preparations.

To make things even more interesting, Maisy had the great idea to get Darryl and a few of his friends to invite John out to watch the game over a couple of beers, so the boys were at Steve's – one of Darryl's friends and Amy's husband – right now having some fun of their own.

I loved spending as much time as possible with John but I wasn't dumb enough to think I could be the center of his world, just like he couldn't be the center of mine. Even a guy as introverted as he was needed to spend some time with people that weren't his girlfriend, and Darryl was a great guy with similar interests... so hey, it was a match made in bromance heaven.

He probably really needed some guy time anyway, so I was glad he decided to accept. To be honest, at first I didn't think he would.

"Did you talk to him about it?" Maisy asked.

"No... I mean... I thought it'd come up when we went camping a couple days ago..." I hesitated, running my fingers through my hair. "I figured it's what he wanted since he was the one that suggested we hitch a tent and stay overnight... but he didn't even try to get in my pants! We made out a lot... and that got pretty intense... but then we just cuddled and fell asleep," I blushed.

"Aw, that's so cute!" Maisy gushed.

I hid my scarlet face behind my hands.

When I was dating my ex from high school, I never talked about this kind of thing with Maisy as it was never an issue. I never wanted to have sex with him, and while he did try to put the moves on me, I always set him straight.

Of course, maybe the fact that I wouldn't put out was why he went looking elsewhere. I thought he was fine when I told him I wanted to wait. He told me he was fine. I thought he'd wait with me, but apparently the reason why he was fine was because he was getting some elsewhere. I was so stupid; I should have seen the signs!

Maisy seemed to know exactly what I was thinking.

"John isn't like that; I've only met him a couple times... but I've seen the way he looks at you. It's the same way Darryl looks at me. He's not the strayin' kind. If you ain't ready darlin', the boy's just gonna have to get used to his hand," she shrugged.

"Maisy! Oh my God, stop sayin' stuff like that!" I blushed again, bursting into giggling fits.

"What? I didn't say anything wrong! Masturbation is very healthy and completely natural! John totally does it, get used to it," she smirked, wriggling her brows at me.

"Okay, I'm done talkin' to you," I grumbled.

"No, but seriously Car, if you're not ready... you're not ready," Maisy said, giving me a very serious expression; it was a look that was very seldom seen on her face.

"But... the thing is, I am ready... I'm just scared I won't be good at it. He's–" I hesitated, unsure if I should be talking to her about this. "He's older and... more experienced when it comes to that sort of stuff... What if I'm not as good as what he's used to?" I asked.

"What if you are?" Maisy smirked.

"I won't be... I'm sure I won't be... I have no idea what I'm supposed to even do!" I told her dramatically, waving my margarita glass around so that some of it splashed onto the tiled floor.

"That's what porn is–" I glared at her. "–okay, okay, don't look at me like that, I'll stop! Sheesh! You're actin' like my mama! So uptight!" she sighed. "No, babe, just... don't think about it too much. Be honest with him, obviously... and the rest... it should come naturally. If you overthink it, that's when it'll become awkward... Trust me, my first time with Darryl, I didn't even climax... and he came a little too fast if you know what I mean... Poor guy..." she chuckled.

I needed a new best friend, I really did.

"Touchdown!"

A group of half-drunk young men in Cowboys jerseys erupted from their seats and started to cheer. I was excited too, and watching the game alone I would have likely been just as enthusiastic, but here I just felt awkward.

I was completely worthless in crowds, even crowds of just four people like tonight.

I sat in one of Steve's armchairs with a beer in my hand, surrounded by three guys that I didn't know, my eyes going from one speaker to the next, feeling like the odd – and old – one out. Darryl was the only one that really sensed how uncomfortable I was, so he tried to include me as best he could, but even when he asked me questions I couldn't help the one-word or two-word answers that came out of my mouth.

It didn't help that they all knew each other from growing up together, or that I was about a decade older than the oldest guy in the room. So I remained quiet, not too unusual for me in these kinds of situations.

It was in the kitchen after the game that Darryl cornered me.

"Hey man, you want another beer?" he asked.

"Thanks," I replied.

He tossed me a longneck bottle from the cooler next to the kitchen counter and I popped the top, taking a generous swig.

"Crazy pass between Romo and Witten, huh?" he grinned.

"Damn right. Didn't see that win comin', which I hate to say about the Cowboys... but I guess there's hope for them yet this season," I chuckled.

"Are you from Dallas? Never seen you 'round here before," Darryl asked after a short silence. I figured he was trying to make small talk.

"Yeah, grew up in Dallas, came here when I was seventeen..." I shrugged.

"Oh yeah, so you've got family here then?" he asked.

"Nah... I stayed with the Millers for a couple months... foster family," I explained.

"Oh yeah, the Millers... George died a couple years ago... drunk driver... sucks... Jane moved away after that, no clue where she went off to... My ma would know though, she keeps an ear out for town gossip," he chuckled.

I didn't stay in contact with the family so George Miller's death came as a surprise. I didn't live under their roof long enough to really form any kind of attachment to them, and the second I turned eighteen I high-tailed it out of there to work for the Atwood family.

"So what did you do when you left here?" Darryl went on to ask.

"Army medic," I explained.

"Really, that's awesome... Thanks for your services, dude," Darryl said with a little too much enthusiasm.

"Yeah," I said, never quite knowing what to say whenever people thanked me like that. I was just doing my job.

"Anyway, do you play pool?" he asked.

I chuckled as a response.

Yes I did, and I was damn good at it too.

So we went downstairs to play a couple games of pool. It was nice to have something to concentrate on, and talking strategy with Steve was a whole lot less stressful – of course, maybe that also had to do with the three beers in my system. Either way, we ended up winning all of our games against Darryl the other guy, a mechanic named Nick Foster.

"Damn guy," Nick grumbled, nodding towards me. "Dude, I ain't playin' pool with him again unless he's on my team."

"Not a chance, the boy's mine," Steve smirked, slinging an arm over my shoulders and causing some of his beer to drip onto the pool table.

"Do you guys want a room?" Darryl sniggered.

I made a face.

"Sorry, I've got a girl at home that would rather I not," I said dryly, a grin tugging at my lips.

"Fuck, gross, that came out wrong. I didn't mean it like that," Steve laughed, hastily bringing his arm back to his side.

"Sure you didn't," Nick chortled.

"I'm more into blondes anyway," Steve grinned.

Nick, the only blond between the four of us, took a few dramatic steps back.

A/N: