“Welcome to the room of people

Who have rooms of people

that they loved one day

Docked away

Just because we check

the guns at the door

Doesn't mean our brains will change from hand grenades,”

The voice made me turn my head around to see a every cocky figure standing there with their arms crossed over their chest and a smirk on their face.

"Katherine, why do you look so smug rightnow?" I asked, rolling my eyes.

She chuckled at me and walked towards me with a smile on her face. She was wearing a sports bra and shorts too which did nothing to hide her toned legs, biceps and abdomen.

She looked so strong and independent that I couldn't help but admire her. She had enough courage, motivation and will in herself to wake up early every morning— even before school to train. She trained way more hours than some males in our pack and that made me so proud of her.

I couldn't help but think why I wasn't like her. Why I was so weak. I hated this. I hated being frail and vulnerable. I won't be vulnerable anymore. I'll fight. I'll learn how to do it and train till I can.

Because I know, I can.

"So, what made Ms. Couch potato grace this gym with her presence at dawn?"

I bit my lip and played with the boxing gloves she'd lend me.

"Urm, I just wanted to train myself..."

Katherine's eyebrows shot up and a surprised look crossed her eyes.

"Who are you and what have you done to my Olivia?"

I rolled my her and flipped her off the bird which made her chortle.

"Awww, come on! Tell me," Katherine's expression turned serious for a while as she looked at with concerned eyes. "Is everything okay? You look too tensed. And we didn't even get to talk yesterday. Are you okay? Everyone told me you left with Chance after the party, so I thought I'd give you guys some privacy. But is everything alright? Did you talk fight or something?"

I clenched my jaw and my eyes filled with pain as flashbacks of what happened after party that night and yesterday morning started coming back to me. The memories I had successfully shoved back in my head and I had worked so laboriously to forget were rushing back to me and it made me want to both slap Katherine and cry on her shoulder at the same time.

But I won't cry. I promised myself.

I am not pathetic.

I shook my head defiantly and gave her a reassuring smile. "Oh nothing happened, trust me."

She frowned at me. Clearly not buying a word of what I had said.

"You're lying, Oli. I can tell it when you lie. What are you hiding? Is it Chance? You two had a fight, didn't you?"

'Stop saying his name!' I wanted to yell at her. The mention of his name hurt my heart and my soul, and I was forced to reminisce the past everytime he was mentioned.

But I just fisted my hands and stopped myself.

Her lips turned down in a frown and she interpreted the meaning of my silence as something I didn't want her to.

"I'll talk to him." She said as she started moving towards the door but I grabbed her hand to stop her.

"No!" I hissed as I pulled her back. "You aren't going to him."

She shook her head, stubbornly. "You don't understand, Oli. God knows why you two keep fighting, but you do, and I have to sort it out because I am your best friend and I can't see you like this."

There you go again. Katherine— the one who tries to sort everything out.

"I don't understand? You don't understand!" I said, my voice suddenly high and hyper.

She gave me a confused look.

"I'll fix everything, Oli. Trust me," she whispered.

"You want to fix everything, don't you? He doesn't want me, Kat. How are you going to fix that?" I had a little word-vomit moment right there as I said everything I didn't want to.

My eyes started watering and I started falling back into the endless out of self pity as my demeanor began crashing down.

Katherine's expression turned from confused to more confused to horrified as she soaked my words in.

"What?" She whispered. "You're kidding me right? Please tell me you don't mean this."

I gulped and told her everything. From what happened that night to yesterday morning to everything I felt and thought.

I told her about Cindy, she didn't even know about her. I told her about Ryder and Cindy and what she did to him. I told her how she successfully created a dent in our friendship and broke my friend's heart.

Katherine listened patiently and her expression flashed from anger to sadness to horror and empathy.

"Oh my Oli," she whispered as her eyes too welled up with tears and she pulled me in her arms as I rested my head on her shoulder.

I didn't want to cry but it was impossible when I was in her embrace and she was sobbing for me.

But I didn't make any sound as silent tears fell down my cheeks down my throat.

"He doesn't deserve you," she said, her voice thick with upcoming tears as she burst into cries again.

"I am so sorry, Oli." She wailed. "I-its all my mistake. Had I not helped him in wooing you, this won't have happened. I was stupid! I thought... I thought he liked you and valued you as a mate and in that hope for a perfect ending for you, I got so fucking blind. I shouldn't have done that, Oli. I am so sorry..."

She pulled away as she rested her head in her hands and her body shook as she cried relentless.

"Don't cry, Kat, please. Don't cry," I whispered as I hugged her from the side, rubbing her back.

It was so funny how we were both trying to calm each other and console each other when clearly none of us were okay.

"I am a horrible friend," she said. "I... I swear to the goddess, Oli, had I known his intentions I would have never pushed you to go to that date that started the entire fucking ordeal. Had I known he was using me....oh god."

She slapped her forehead as she leaned back, looking up to the ceiling to stop the upcoming tears from following.

"It's all my mistake. I told you he's a nice person. I pushed you to give him another shot. I am a horrible person. A useless friend. I-I don't deserve you, Oli. You deserve better. Not me. You don't deserve someone like me to be in your life to ruin it."

She stood up abruptly and I saw as her hands and legs shook. This is the most out of control I have seen Katherine.

Her eyes were clouded with sadness and disgust in herself and it killed me to see her like that.

All because of this one person.

All because I couldn't keep my fantasies at bay.

These two lines kept repeating themselves in my brain as I debated over who to blame for this loss.

"No, Kat!" I stood up too, in front of her. "It's not your fault."

I took her hand in mine and she shook her head.

It surely wasn't. She was just being a great friend.

"It is! It's entirely my fault. You had decided to ignore him and probably even reject him. But then I came and ruined everything! I am not worth it, Oli. I am not worth you friendship and love,"

She pulled her hand away to tug at her hair in frustration.

"He's such a bastard," she hissed. "I would have killed him, had he not been the Beta. Don't go back to him, girl. You are stronger than that. You'll train and become better. I have faith in you. You'll get a great trainer for yourself and—"

"You'll train me!" I told her, in an obvious tone but she shook her head.

"No. I can't. I won't. I can't be near you anymore, Oli. I am...I am poison. I ruin everything. I was so selfish..."

I looked up at her. "Selfish?"

Her eyes turned down on the floor as she refused to meet my gaze.

"I have a mate," she told me.

"Everyone has one." I said, not understanding what she meant.

She sighed, a shaky breathe coming out.

"I have found him." She said.

My eyes widened as my mouth formed an 'o' in realization. "When?" I asked.

"3 weeks ago. In Mexico," she replied, her voice filled with shame as she still looked at the floor.

"Oh," came my voice.

Why didn't she tell me?

"Aren't you going to ask why I didn't tell you?" She asked, looking up finally and I shook my head, shrugging.

"No I mean, it's your call." I whispered as I tried to hide the little hurt I felt on her hiding such a big news. But I kind of understood

Maybe she had a reason.

Her eyes filled with tears again with confused me.

"See! You are so nice... I don't... I don't deserve you at all. You are here acting all understanding and patient while I didn't even think twice before helping that asshole like a fucking idiot."

"You deserve a smarter person than me in your life, Oli. I-I can't do this anymore." Her words rang in my ears as I realized she was leaving me too.

I stood there numb as she rushed out of the gym with tears in her eyes. I didn't move or do anything till she was too far away to call.

"No!" I yelled. "Kat! Don't go! Don't go, I need you!"

My voice was shaky and my throat ached as I spoke but to no avail as she couldn't hear me.

Or maybe she just didn't want to.

Why does this happen to me?

I lost yet another person in my life. First Ryder, then Chance, and now, Katherine.

Who do I have left with me now anyway?

Whenever I try to take a step forward, why does my destiny drag me four steps behind?

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