"I carry the weight of you in my heavy heart

And the wind is so icy, I am numb

I carry the weight of you heading back to start

With the thousand eyes on me, I stumble on

I am tired, I'm growing older

I'm getting weaker every day."

---

"I am highly surprised and my expectations have been crashed. I am sad to inform you this but I think you have anger issues, Ryder. I think we called you back too soon. I as an Alpha, orders Ryder Landon to go back to Alaska, where he came from till he's called back."

The Alpha's statement made everyone around us gasp and I heard whispers of people wondering if Ryder will be replaced by someone else.

"I don't mean to disrespect you Alpha George, but I think it's unfair if we don't give him a chance to defend himself."

A strong, defiant voice interrupt and rose above all the voices in the hall and everyone turned towards me in shock.

That's when I realized it was me to whom the voice belonged.

Alpha George looked surprised as he challengingly raised his eyebrow at me.

I stood straighter and held my ground.

"Are you sure you don't mean to be disrespectful by questioning the Alpha's decision?"

I took a deep breathe and took in a deep breathe. I could get in serious trouble if the Alpha gets offended because I am not a high rank.

But I can't back out.

For Ryder.

"I am just stating what the law says." I said.

Alpha George's eyes flared and he gritted his teeth as his fists curled.

Shit. I am dead meat now.

"I am glad at your concern pertaining the law but for your information, Ms. Hart, the law also states that the Alpha is the final decision maker."

I stayed silent. I knew he had more to speak.

"And as far as the question of giving him a chance comes," he said, turning towards Ryder who was standing with his head low in shame. "Your friend doesn't look too keen to defend himself."

My gaze turned towards Ryder and I threw daggers at him as he didn't move an inch. He didn't speak up.

"I came here to talk to him and hear his part of the story, but when I saw the way these two were fighting and when the guard told me that Ryder attack Chance without cause or warming- I knew that the poor girl has high chances of being true."

My jaw clenched. Cindy, you are asking to be killed.

My glare turned pleading as I looked at Ryder.

I needed him to say something. I can't defend him alone.

"I apologise for my mistakes, Alpha. I have disappoint a lot of people. I accept your decision to send me back to Alaska and I'll leave within an hour." Ryder's answer send shivers of fear and dread down my spine and I looked at him in shock.

"Ryder!" My voice did nothing to express the amount of emotions I felt but Ryder just looked at me apologeticlly.

"I am sorry, Livy." He whispered and left.

I just stood there. Afterall, there is only so much you can do to save someone who doesn't want to be saved.

"I am sorry," Ryder whispered as he visited me one last time before leaving with a handbag in his hand.

I didn't reply, I just stood beside the window with anger and despair radiating from every fibre of my being.

My mate isn't ready to announce that we're mates. My wolf isn't showing up. My best friend says mean things to me, apologises and is ready to leave.

My life rocks.

I hope you note the sarcasm in my voice.

Ryder sighed and moved closer. "Livy, I am genuinely so sor-"

"Stop apologizing for fuck's sake!" I snapped at him and hit his chest in anger. "I need to know, why. I was helping you wasn't I? When did you become so spineless, Ryder? That bitch is out there plotting your downfall and you are letting her do that? Till when are you planning to defend her, huh? Till when will you kill yourself to save her? Everything was fine before she came and now everything's out of place, can't you see it?"

My chest moved up and down as I breathed heavily.

Ryder smiled sadly at me. "I have disappointed you again, haven't I?" He whispered.

I threw my hands up on disbelief. "It's not about me, Ryder. It's about you!"

He shook his head. "I am not leaving to defend her. I know she just wants to hurt me and everyone around me. I am going because I need to find myself back. Somewhere along the way of losing her and you, I lost my wolf too. I have lost control over Ferox and he seems to only think about that one person who doesn't think about us at all. I need to get him under control. I need to get myself under control. I hurt you, I wounded our friendship and I probably lost the one person who was always with me. I know you were there for me today, Livy, but somewhere deep inside, I also know that what we had is lost and I might never get it again. I'll mourn the loss forever. That is the reason I need to leave. I will reinvent myself, build motivation and be with nature. I'll get closer to my wolf again and maybe if I am not here anymore, I'll move on too. I belong there, let me go."

"You don't belong there! You belong here, with us. And-"

Ryder didn't let me finish my sentence as he engulfed me in one of his bear hugs. Wrapping his arms around my waist, he rested his head on my shoulder.

Hugging him back, I gripped his shoulders and it felt so natural that I wanted to kill Cindy for ruining it.

"Try to forgive me if you can," he whispered. "Please, Livy, I know I fucked up. But you are all I have. My mother died giving birth to me, my father isn't here anymore and my mate doesn't want me. You are all I have, yet I can't stop messing up. Just please, I-"

"Shhhhh..." I whispered and hugged him tightly. We stood there with my tears wetting his T-shirt till he was called outside.

"I promise to be stronger and smarter when I return. And I'll see you soon, Livy." His parting words were promising as he left after kissing my forehead.

But little did he know, it was probably the last time he was seeing me.

I didn't cry like I had expected myself to when he left. I just stood by the window as his car went down the lane and pondered over life.

The bond that broke by his betrayal was gone by now and emptiness surrounded my heart.

"Oli, are you okay?" Chance's voice came from behind and I turned around to nod.

"Yeah," I whispered.

He wrapped his arms around me from behind and kissed my hair. I shivered at his touch and he smiled at the reaction he received from me.

"Missed me?" He whispered into my hair as he took my scent in.

I turned around, resting my head on his chest. I was desperate for contact. His touch made me forget and I couldn't overthink things I didn't want to think about.

"A lot." I replied, taking in his intoxicating scent. I planted a small kiss on his neck and he shivered visibly.

"Don't tease," he growled lowly as my fingers brushed his collarbone, right where my mark would lay and I giggled at him.

"Just two days," I whispered. Thinking about the next full moon when he could finally mark me and make me his.

He smiled down at me and kissed my lips softly.

"Just two days," he whispered against my lips before kissing me again, passionately.

I smiled and returned his kissed, cupping his neck with my hand. He gripped my waist and I fell into a blissful abyss of oblivion.

It was a sweet escape from reality, but an escape nonetheless.

Everything was fine now, wasn't it? I will be his in two days and Ryder had promised to return. But then why did it feel like this was the calm before the storm?