“I've got thick skin and an elastic heart

But your blade it might be too sharp

I'm like a rubber band until you pull too hard.”

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"...I always feel this nagging voice in my head telling that I don't deserve you and you're too good for me. And one day you'll realize that you deserve so much better and you'll leave me for the good.

I am afraid that someday you'll see that he is somehow better than me and leave me for him. I can't bear that thought, Oli. I can't bear the thought of you being with someone else, in someone else's arms.

I am selfish when it comes to you and I want you all for myself."

I watched him, almost starled, as the words began to seep in. He was insecure and jealous. He felt like I'd leave for someone.

"You're an idiot." I mumbled, almost smacking him across his head.

Chance looked taken aback, but soon a lazy grin formed on his face and looked intently at me.

"Your idiot," he said, grinning and I stifled a goofy smile.

"But an idiot nonetheless," I folded my arms across my chest and mock glared.

"Am I forgiven?" He asked expectedly and I sighed.

"I don't know, Chance." I said honestly. "I don't know what to feel about this. How to look at things. I want to forgive and forget, but I don't want to keep dusting dirt under the rug without addressing the problems. I can't keep getting hurt again and again and then keep forgiving. I want to solve the problems, not ignore them. I want to build a trust that our relationship doesn't seem to have. Trust is the foundation of any relationship, without trust, nothing lasts. You don't trust me, Chance." My voice that was calm at first turned pain and raw with emotions in the end.

"I trust you," he whispered, his eyes glistening as the dusk feel outside the window. "I just don't trust myself. I don't trust myself to be good enough for you. And I always feel like someday, something will happen and you'll leave me for the good. And I...I can't stand that thought, Oli. I get panicked, then I try to control and protect what's mine but in the end, I mess up."

Taking one of my hand in his, he pulled me towards him and caressed my cheek, lovingly. His eyes stared into mine, we weren't too close, but still close enough to leave me breathless. His cool, minty breathe washed over my face and I sighed in bliss. Sparks flew between us and my face instinctively leaned into his palm.

"I just want you to put your faith in me Chance. I want you to know me so well that the next time a girl tries to tell you that I cheated, you tell that it can never happen."

"You know why I am mad, Chance?" I asked him, looking up. "I am mad because I know how much I feel about you. I know how you make me feel. I know how breathless I am around you. I know how your smile makes my heart stop. I know how you are to me, the most perfect mate ever. And when still, you think that I can leave you, I feel insulted. My feelings feel insulted. I feel like I failed to express myself. And I don't like that..."

"I'm sorry," he whispered, his grip on me tightening.

"I'm sorry too..." I murmured and rested my head on his chest, feeling his heartbeat against my cheek. His scent filled my nose and I snuggled closer to my mate.

He pulled me closer and kissed my head lovingly. Resting his cheek in my head, he caressed my waist with one hand. My shirt hitched a bit and his fingers brushed against my skin, making me shiver with pleasure.

"I don't talk to Cindy anymore," he suddenly said and I tried not to flinch at her name.

"I swear, Oli, I stopped any form of communication with her. When I realized how I have hurt you by using her, I stopped. I was such an idiot. And I decided to do the right thing by stopping to talk to and meet her.

But then, that day when I was in the office, she came and started spewing bullshit about how much she misses me. I ignored her. I couldn't have used her to leave as her father's is the peace maker and an important person. So I ignored her, completely. But that was till she mentioned about that Ryder thing.

I promise you, I didn't believe her at first. I didn't believe at all. I told her that she's lying and asked her to leave.

I worked the entire day to get rid of the fleeting thoughts and concentrate.

My suspicions rose when Ryder didn't come to the office the entire day. I was curious. And I wanted to meet you. So I went to your room. But you weren't here.

So I put two and two together to arrive at a conclusion that you two were together.

What she said along with this, it...it messed up with my head, Oli and I think I said and thought things I shouldn't have. I am sorry, Oli. I let my insecurities take the best of me."

"It's okay," I mumbled, kissing his chest where his heart is.

He shivered visibly.

We kept quiet for a minute before he said.

"You haven't forgiven me, have you?"

I kept quiet. He didn't say anything either.

Looking out of the window as the night fell in, I realized something. Nothing is ever perfect.

We weren't perfect right now.

We weren't okay. But I hope, we'll make it like we always do.

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