I turned and saw my dad approaching me on a wheelchair. It was as if I wanted to run away but somewhere I wanted to hear his explanation.

He looked up to me but could not meet my eyes, guilt was written all over his face. He looked older and weak. All harsh feelings, guilt, resentment, bitterness formed the sharp features of his face.

"Kaylie could you please forgive me?" Tears were welling up his eyes, as if they'd fall the moment he blinks, but he was holding it in. They say that's how you behave when you are a man, tears should be tuck in.

I could do nothing but nod and turn away, I was angry and most of all I re encountered this empty feeling. All I wanted was time to accept that my dad wronged me and my mom for some reason he wasn't even assured of.

"Kaylie, please don't turn away from me, you are the only one I have"

I turned back to meet his eyes, I couldn't see through them, they had a translucent coating over them. A layer of ignorance or arrogance, whatever you may seem fits the situation.

"If you are angry, speak, pour down your rage upon me, but please speak" he added, his voice was pleading for his only daughter's words. Even if hate, he wanted to hear her.

"I cannot forgive you dad. It'll take me time and I don't know how much I will be needing to fulfill the hole in my heart that was ever expanding from the past decade."

"I'm sorry, my child" ; looking down, his hands gripped his knees tighter and crying as if the world ended. I looked away, I could not bear the sight.

"Can't you forgive your dad?"

" Honestly, I could never understand how were you able to move in the world so seamlessly without me. You go through the world as if I was never a part of it, but I am not sure if I'll ever be the same. You assumed, changed everything, and left all the while shamelessly unscathed by the destruction you left in your wake. Maybe you lost nothing when you left me but I... I lost myself. You made me hate myself... Alot. And I have just recovered it, it took me time to love myself. You need to give me time. I cannot fake this." and with this I left. Harsh, was it? Compared to all what I had to go through, it wasn't even a droplet in the ocean I suppose.

END OF FLASHBACK.

10:30 PM

Amigo's Hyung

Amigo's Hyung:

Hey, Kaylie.

You alright?

Me:

Umm.. yup.

Amigo's Hyung:

I know he is being a jerk right now.

But believe me, he has his reasons.

He isn't even talking to us right now

and we thought that at least he is having a conversation with you. But when Jimin told me about your altercation, I was a bit worried about him.

Me:

So, you are trying to clarify on his behalf?

Amigo's Hyung:

Somewhat yes.

Me:

I envy him

Amigo's Hyung:

What?

Me:

There are just so many people on his stand, still he is behaving this way and here I am .

Well, forget it.

I never had anyone.

He just came out of nowhere, gave me some false hope and then left.

I was a fool that I started feeling for him.

I had always been one, though.

I hate myself being this way.

People just get close to me and then drift apart. He said he'll not let me push him away. Then why?

I must have been a demon in my past life to be this way in this. Repaying for sins I don't even remember.

And I know that I am spamming you rn

But what else can I do?

Where can I throw up my rage?

And no. I don't even expect any consolation because you never know what others are feeling.

And maybe I am being asympathetic towards him, but that doesn't mean that I feel nothing.

I was not a fool who was calling him.

He said he would pick up.

He said it. I thought I was someone to him.

I was so wrong. I always have been.

Block Amigo's Hyung?

Yes / No