《princess; jb》[cero]
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When someone you love dies they always remind you that they're in a better place, their souls are free now, they're complete and totally happy.
They are in a better place.
I want to be in a better place too.
I don't belong to earth anymore, I feel like I have no one and nothing in here since my mom died. I feel empty, and that feeling is just horrible.
I feel like I'm not myself. I feel like there's something missing.
A part of me left when my mom did.
That was five months ago. The doctors said I would be okay, my grandmother said I would be okay too. That life gets better. That God wanted my mom there for a reason. God plans are perfect, she says.
God plans' suck then.
I miss my mom. And you know what's the worst thing? I never told her how much I love her, I didn't stop a second to thank life for my mom.
You know what they say: you don't know what you got until you lose it.
That couldn't be more true.
So here I am, making a decision. Choosing between going to a better place and be with my mom or being alive but not living...
And I made one.
Life is not worth it.
I grabbed my phone, and thought about leaving a text to the only person I talk to besides my grandmother. I quickly remembered that the contact I was writing the message to wasn't her actual one.
So I went to Notes to copy the new number she gave me. I added the new number and proceeded to write the message.
Million thoughts appeared in my mind making me have doubts about sending it, so I just did it before I could regret it.
I sighed deeply. It's time.
Just when I was about to take the pills a notification popped up, she had answered me.
I hesitated between checking it and then do it or just ignoring it.
But the curiosity was killing me. However, the answers I found were unexpected.
💜
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