Love hurts, doesn't it?

Tristan stood uncomfortably at the center of the lounge before walking to sit on the couches' armrest, drawing a deep breath before opening his mouth to speak

“Listen Liv, I'm not here to cause a rift between you and me or what you have with Nathan. It's just that it came as a shock to me to discover how you felt about me all this time. I just want us to talk about, is that okay with you?”

Coming face to face with him with this conversation was something I was least expecting ever to happen, especially now after all these years. I wrote that letter just when I was about to leave for college. That was my way of leaving everything behind...in the secret compartment of our box. The initial plan was to burn it along with the diary when I came back for the semester holidays, it seemed like a legit plan by then...but that very same plan managed to backfire because I forgot, and now I'm standing in front of him, having to explain myself.

“Yeah sure”, I croaked out nervously as I walked to sit beside him and I kept my eyes dropped to the floor. This is what I've been afraid of my entire life, I couldn't even bear to look at him and register the look on his face. I was just so nervous, I couldn't sit still without tapping my foot on the floor.

“So, how long have you, uh....had feelings for me?”

“I don't know”, I shrugged uncertainly. “Since pre school I think, but it was a long time ago so”

I looked up at him to see him sigh heavily, looking defeated with his eyes having a hint of regret. “If only I'd known Liv, I didn't even know you felt this way about me”

I shrugged my shoulders again

“It's not like it would have changed anything though”, it was my turn to sigh. “The reason I didn't want to tell you is because I didn't want things to change between us, like I said in the letter; I was okay with anything”

He slid off the armrest to sit beside me, taking my hand in his. “I feel like I should apologize”

“Apologize for what?”, I quirked up an eyebrow at him “for not seeing me as nothing more than just a friend?”

He slowly nodded. “And for not noticing”

“No you don't”, I reassured him while giving him a light shoulder squeeze, it was my it's really not that deep gesture, but he still really looked sorry and disappointed in himself

“I hurt your feelings without even knowing and that's the last thing I would ever want. I never imagined I'd be the one to cause you pain because I feel like I'm the one who's supposed to protect you from it because I care deeply about you”.

“Tristan, it's okay really. I understand, always have”.

We sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes before he finally opened his mouth to speak,

“Can I at least get a hug?”, he motioned I come closer while standing up to my feet and I stood up to hug him

“I'm really sorry”, he breathed out sighing heavily, and I tightened my arms around him a little

“Don't be”, I was the first to pull away. “I just wanted you to be happy and for a moment in time you were really happy. That's all I wanted to see”.

“I want the same for you. God knows that's all I wanted for you all those years and now that you are with Nathan, I couldn't be more relieved because the two of you deserve each other”.

I smiled a little at his words

“I really hope we don't let this get in between us”, I said and his eyebrows arched up in confusion. “Because despite everything that's happened, I don't want to lose you over this”

“You'll never lose me Liv. This doesn't change anything. You're still very much my favorite person”.

“You are too”, I wrapped my hand around his waist to hug him again, and I felt him wrap his arms tightly around me and breathed out a sigh of relief before we broke away from each other

“So we are good now right?”, he quirked up and eyebrow at me, “and I guess we can put all of this behind us right?”, he seeked confirmation and I nodded my head at him

“Yeah, we're good”

I saw him hold out his pinky finger. “Truce?”

“That's actually a pinky promise”, I corrected while laughing he did a mini eye roll at my statement

“I don't really care”, he laughed a little. “We're making it a truce today”

I interlocked our pinkies together. “Truce”

“Nathaniel?”, Mrs Miller's voice ringed in my ear on my way back to my car. I spent most of the little time I had arrived there at their building just standing paralyzed at Olivia's apartment door. I was about to knock, but then I overheard her and Tristan talking and in so little time, I heard so much. I didn't even mean to eavesdrop, the door wasn't completely shut, so I could easily hear what was being said on the other side of the door.... and I honestly wish I hadn't come here.

“Hi Mrs Miller, it's always a pleasure to see you”, even though I could feel my heart starting to ache a little, I managed to still force a smile as I approach the noisy old woman. She wasn't all that bad to be honest, she was always welcoming and lovely each time I accidentally ran across her.

“You've been quite a regular here, haven't you?”, she pointed her finger at me playfully, and I laughed a little

“I guess you can say that”

“But then that's good”, she was smitten. “You and Olivia remind me of my late husband and I when we were still around your age, love so honest and pure”

This was probably the 8th time she told me this, but I still had to act surprised every time

“As for an Olivia, she's a real gem that one. I really hope you know what you have with her...if I were you I would never let go of her”.

Hearing Mrs Miller say all these things to me didn't really shock or surprise me, she was telling me what I already knew

“I know Mrs Miller”, I looked up at Olivia's large apartment window, and she hadn't closed her blinds for the night yet, catching a glimpse of her and Tristan hugging

“I really need to go Mrs Miller, it was nice talking to you”, I smiled politely as I walked past her, and she bid me farewell. I had parked my car across her apartment window and I could still see them in each other's arms. At first, it wouldn't mean anything seeing them like that because I only knew them as really good childhood friends. Now that I know that Olivia had feelings for him all this time....it kinda messed around with my brain a little. Even though I managed to peel myself off her doorstep as soon when I figured what was going on exactly, it didn't change the fact that,

I was worried......very

In the middle of the night, I was woken up by the sound of someone knocking constantly on my front door and I mumbled angrily still very much half asleep as I went to open, only to see Nathan leaning tirelessly on the door frame, holding my work file in his hand

“Babe?”

“Hey Liv”, he said quietly, and I motioned he comes in, closing the door behind him after he dragged himself inside. He looked like he was hurt and bothered by something, and it worried not knowing why.

“Are you okay?”, I folded my arms across my chest, and he started trailing his hands down my shoulders to my elbows

“Not really”, he shrugged as he walked over to the couch and sat down, patting the space next to him so that I sat beside him but instead I knelt in front of him

“What's wrong sweetie?”, I reached to touch his face and he leaned towards me, bringing his face closer to mine

“You know how I can't go to bed while something is bothering me, right?”

“Yeah?”

“It so happens to be one of days”, he heaved a sigh. “I need us to talk about something”

“Okay, what do we have to talk about?”

“So, I was here earlier to drop off these documents you left at my place and I overheard you and Tristan talking”

Oh, God! No

No no no no no no no no

Sinking onto the floor, I closed my eyes to run my hand through my face and took a deep sigh. Today wasn't really a good at all for me; life was just dealing with my existence in all sorts of angles. If anything this was just a brutal match in the ring and I was choke slammed into the ground at every turn. Just when I think I can take it then bam- superman punch; the ultimate TKO meaning I'm just done for. Where do I even begin to approach this matter?

“How much did you hear?”

“Quite a lot actually”, he scratched the top of his nose. “I didn't realize you had feelings for him”

“It was a long time ago Nathan, long back when we were still kids. I don't feel that way about him anymore. Right now I love him just like a really good friend”

“So you no longer have feelings for him?”

“No”

“Are you sure?”

“Of course I'm sure”, I cupped the side of his face in my hands. “I just want you and only you”

He paused for a second, just looking at me, and we sat in silence for a few minutes and I sat back on the floor again, cuddling my knees to my chest. His silence was deafening, more especially that he had this unreadable expression on his face, it was driving me crazy. If scwering things up between us with so little effort was going to become a thing, I was really getting good at it.

“So what now?”, I asked and his eyebrows arched a little at me

“What do you mean?”

I felt a lump grow in my throat, this wasn't something I wanted to ever say out loud, but I just had to. “So does this mean it's over between us?”

“What's over?”

“Our relationship”

“Baby”, he said softly while kneeling in front of me. “I didn't come here to break off things. I'm here because I just needed some reassurance that what I heard wasn't going to change things between us and now that I got it, what happened doesn't make me love you any less. I mean yeah, it came as a little shock learning that you had feelings for Tristan, but I believe you when you say it was a long time ago”

“Are you sure though?”, I nervously a bit on the inside of my cheek a little. “Cause now every time I'm with Tristan this will always linger at the back of your mind that I had a thing for him”

“We're not kids anymore Liv. I understand that unresolved feelings are very difficult to get over, but you managed to do that...all on your own, so I'm not going to throw a tantrum or shade over something I can't change. I accept things the way they are because I believe this is something we can surely work on as time goes on”

I couldn't even speak as tears welled up in my eyes, my lip starting to quiver, and I threw my arms around him

“It's okay”, he whispered against my ear and that made me sob even more

“Thank you”, I whimpered as we broke away from the hug, and he kept his arm around me

“What for?”

“For being so understanding about this whole situation. You're doing so much for me and I didn't know if you'd accept me or look at me the same way after this but-”, I was still overwhelmed to continue, so I just shrugged my shoulders, hoping he will get where I'm going with this, and it seemed like he did.

“When I told you I'm not going anywhere, it's not because I feel obligated to or feel like I should do it for the sake of keeping all the promises I made to you”, he grabbed my face in his hands and I took a deep breath to stop myself from crying

“It's because I want to stay by you, now and forever because I really do love you Liv, with everything I have, and I really want to make us work. So let's just leave what happened in the past, in the past, okay?”

“I love you so much”, I sobbed onto his shoulder and I felt his hand stroke my hair softly as he locked me into his warm embrace once again

I felt him kiss the side of my face. “I know you do”