Setback

That was his response to my we need to talk text, and I was taken aback by it. Not that I'm freaking out or anything but isn't he supposed to respond with something like “I don't like the sound of that” or “Okay, now I'm worried” kinda text instead of

As if I wasn't anxious enough about sending that text to him, his response was definitely going to give me a sleepless night because I'm totally nervous right now. I don't get why though because I'm not the one at fault here, and I'm not gonna lie, learning that he's seeing other women made me mad and sweat a little underneath my clothes but because I'm a crybaby and all, I started tearing up, becoming all weak and emotional.

Thinking about it made a few veins in my temple throb a little, so to keep my mind off things for a while, I decided to make myself a late night snack but was soon interrupted by the continuous knocks on the door. For a mere second, I wish I hadn't switched on the TV and the bright lights in my apartment in case that was Nathan at the door so that he might think I wasn't home to prove to him that I have a life outside of hanging around with him and that I'm also more than capable of seeing other people like he was.

Not that any of that would have worked though, but it was definitely worth a thought...

I pulled the door open, and I was quite relieved it was just Anna

“Hey”, I invited her in, and she threw herself in my arms, exhaling tirelessly, and I immediately sensed something was wrong with her because she wasn't her bubbly, cheerful and ready-to-kick-my-ass-any-second-now self

“Are you okay babe?”, I withdrew from her, and she gave a lazy shrug, her eyes were all teary and puffy

“Can I spent the night here with you, Liv?”, she sniffed, and I noticed she was carrying an overnight bag with her

“Of course you can”, I said while closing the door and watched as she plopped down the couch and sighed heavily

“What's wrong?”, I stood opposite her, and she sighed again before tapping the space next to her on the couch

“You might want to sit down for this”

“Baby, are you hungry?”, Mellisa asked when we got back from Nathan's, and I shook my head no

“I'm tired, I think I'm just going to call it a night”, I yawned already walking to the bedroom and I felt her hold my hand, slowly turning me to look at her

“I'm so glad you're back home”, she wrapped her arms around me. “I was literally going crazy without you”

After the incident that happened between us, I thought it was best if we took some time apart from one another because it was clear that we bought out the worst in each other lately. This wasn't how it was supposed to be because we were getting married in less than a month now and ultimately we were supposed to be more in love than ever since we're yet to spend the rest of our lives together.

“We can't keep doing this Mel”, I pulled away from her and her face dropped in disappointment as she folded her arms across her chest

“What do you mean?”

“This”, I emphasized on the space between us. “The wedding and everything. I think it's possible we're not ready for marriage and should maybe call it off-”

“No”, she cupped my face in her hands. “Everything that's happened was just a minor setback. We are ready for this, we've survived a lot worse in our relationship, and we can do this. We're more than ready”.

“Even so, I think you should start attending anger management therapy again because you snapping off like that the other day...”, I shook my head in disapproval, thinking that we were going right back where we stated a few years prior, the ultimate reason behind our multiple break-ups. She previously had episodes in the last few years when she suddenly loses her temper and becomes really difficult to reason with, but she got better with time when she took her pills and attended therapy regularly. This wedding planning just managed to set her back on her progress because it was the first time she actually attacked me.

“I don't think we'll be able to go through with the wedding if things don't change between us”

“It won't happen again, I promise”, her eyes glowed with tears, and it absolutely murdered me to see her like that, I never wanted her to cry unless they were tears of joy or something along those lines

“It's just that sometimes I feel like I'm not good enough for you, and I'm really trying Tristan, to prove to you and everybody else that I can be a good wife, a partner, your biggest supporter and most importantly, your best friend”, she sobbed, and I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her close in a hug

“I know you do”, I ran my hand up and down her back. “But you're just being hard on yourself. I'm the one marrying you, not them”

“I'm really sorry for everything, I didn't mean to hurt you the other day. You mean the world to me and I don't know what I would do without you”, she broke down into tears and I tighten my arms around her, to console her and make her feel better again.

“It's okay. We'll get through this, we always do”, I kissed her forehead. One thing I knew about our relationship that kind of scared me, is that no matter what she did, I'd always love her and find more reasons to stay.

There was just something about clinics and hospitals that made me cringe. The smell, the kind of disinfects they used to kill the germs or whatever had that nauseating odour that didn't sit well with me. The reason why I also don't like coming to medical facilities was because my father nearly died from a fatal gun shot wound seven years ago, and it still haunts me even today. Every time I come to an environment like this, the flashbacks keep on coming, remember how scared I was of thinking we were going to lose him forever. The state my mother was in had imprinted on me for life. The thought of someone you love dying, it was just too much.

Now, not much had changed except that I was sitting nervously in the waiting room, not really anticipating what was going to take place, and it felt like I was sitting here for hours, even though it was just like for ten minutes. It also wasn't much help that some nurses were just really not accommodating enough for me to seek the answers to the questions I had, and it was honestly frustrating.

While I kept myself busy by paging through some magazines next to me, I felt my phone ringing in my pocket and I answered it without looking at the caller ID because I was still scouting for at least one friendly-looking nurse at the reception area to ask questions

“Hello?”

“Hey Liv, it's me”

Nathaniel

“Hey”, my voice croaked out in surprise of actually hearing from him. Haven't heard from him in two days after sending that risky we need to talk text and getting that even risk-er response from him.

He didn't say anything, it was like he was waiting for me to say something like, it's nice to hear from you or this is a lovely surprise after greeting him back

“So, what's up?”, that was the best response I could come up with because I'm awkward like that, as if things weren't awkward already. Man, I suck at this!

“I thought you said we should talk”

“Yeah, about that-”, I paused while scratching my neck, I wasn't ready to talk yet because I hadn't found the time to strategize my argument because whatever I had to say had to be good because I'm the victim in all this, and it was in my best interests to make him feel bad

“I changed my mind”, I added and there was this dramatic pause between us, like he was giving me enough time to say why I changed my mind and to explain myself to him

“So you don't think we should talk anymore?”

“Uh, yeah”, I said while seeing a nurse who looked capable of answering a question I had without actually biting my head off approaching, and I quickly stood up to meet her gaze

“I really don't understand-”

“Just a second — Hi, excuse me?”, I quickly interrupted him when I stopped the nurse in front of me, and she turned with a warm smile on her face

“Yes dear?”

“How long does this procedure normally take?”

“It can take about 15 to 20 minutes or so”

“Oh, okay thanks”, I smiled politely at her, and she reciprocated my smile

“If you have any more questions, you can inquire at the reception”, she informed me and I gave her a nod before she continued walking. I sat back down again, remembering I still had the phone over my ear and I didn't put him on hold or something.

“Nathan?”

“I'm still here”

“Oh good”, I bit on my nails nervously. “You can come by my place tomorrow night so that we can talk”

“Uh, okay?”, he sounded uncertain and confused, but we really needed to talk, whether I was ready to face him or not because honestly this wasn't just about me, we both needed to clear the air and come up with a way forward regarding our relationship. I just needed to get really drunk to have all the confidence in the world to tell him how I really felt and clearly reflect my anger. He'll know me well after I'm finished with him.

“All right then, I'll see you then”

“Okay sure”