Alex stared at the vile, watching the dark liquid shift side to side as she turned it slowly in her hands. Gabriel's blood. The thought of drinking it was not half as disturbing as the fact that she was actually starting to wonder if she should.

She came to Boston hoping to find a way to make the pain end. She hadn't dared to dream past that notion, but now, after her encounters with James, if felt like there might just be a way to get her old life back. To be normal again, to have a family again...and maybe even, spend a little more time with someone who seemed to be fond of her.

"What do I do?" She muttered into the empty suite. It was past midnight, but there was no sign of Gabriel. The restaurant would be closing soon, but the Red Wolf Bar would be open for hours yet. Maybe he was still out with his family.

Alex hadn't allowed herself to think of her parents for so long. For years she had not searched her brother's name online, scared that the pain of missing him would become too overwhelming to bare, afraid that she would lose her resolve and try to reach out to him and end up ruining his life. But now, she realised just how wrong she had been. A quick search on her new cellphone revealed that James had been single for years. There was no mention of a marriage, no mention of a baby. What had happened?

Alex didn't know anything. She didn't know anything about her brothers life, because she had cut herself from the world due to her own fear.

She'd been a coward.

Her eyes went back to the vile in her hands; she was still being a coward.

If Alex drank the blood, the possibilities open to her would be endless. She could travel, move among people, touch and be touched without fear. She could claim her own name back and see her brother.

As strange as it seemed, Alex would become more accepted in the world as a werewolf. Did that even make sense? And yet, if she had learned anything at all in her 26 years, it was that expecting life to make sense was nonsensical.

Chaos and nonsense lay at the heart of existence and society suppressed it all into a superficial order. What she had to do was fit into that order, and it was easier to fit in if she turned.

The werewolves she had observed these past weeks had managed that feat to perfection. They had jobs, families, businesses and ran a cooperation that created specialised drugs and technologies to fit their community. They existed alongside humans with none the wiser and they did so in peace.

What good reason was there now not to turn?

The image of spit dangling from sharp fangs rushed across her mind. Alex stood up, trying to push the memory away. This was her answer. The bastard werewolf that killed her parents. Just when she was swayed by possibility of seeing James and Gabriel's gentleness, the picture of the wolf biting into her father's neck stiffened her spine.

She didn't want to think about the accident. She didn't want to fall pray to the the desire for revenge. Six years of meditating at the monastery had taught her that seeking justice was good, but fostering revenge in one's heart, chipped away at the soul.

The clock on the kitchen oven read 00:29am. Was Gabriel not coming tonight? He had an important election tomorrow, so perhaps he was working late? He was always the one that came to her, checking if she needed anything and caring for her. She couldn't just take without giving. Deciding to check in on him to see if there was something she could help with, Alex left her room.

The elevators and halls were mostly empty, but Alex took the stairs out of habit. It was a long way up to the penthouse suite, but the view from the glass walled staircase made it a nice climb. Reaching the correct floor, she began to push open the door to the short hallway when she froze.

The penthouse suite door was open, the light from within casting shadows across the dimly lit hallway. But it wasn't Gabriel at the entrance, it was Katya Korovic. Alex took in the tiny leather skirt and the silver corset that pushed the woman's breasts so far up, they were almost spilling over the top. What was she doing, leaving Gabriel's room at this hour? Her mind came up with all sorts of scenarios as she watched the werewolf fiddle with her sequin clutch before finally heading for the elevators.

Business talk, at this hour? It seemed unlikely.

A message from the Korovic Alpha? Surely a phone would have been used for that.

Katya was insanely attractive and it was clear as day that she wanted Gabriel. Did they...

Alex let the fire escape door go and took a step backwards into the stairwell. Something inside her chest squeezed tight at the thought of the two of them together. She touched her fingers to the spot above her heart. This wasn't supposed to happen, she reminded herself. She wasn't supposed to feel like this. She didn't own Gabriel. If he wanted to sleep with other people, that was his choice. He owed her nothing, just like she owed him nothing.

Alex turned back, looking out the windows to the dark waters of the Charles River. Jumping to conclusions was wrong, just like having expectations was wrong. Expectations were what hurt you in the end. Alex had no idea when it had happened, but she somehow grown to expect things from Gabriel Moncrief.

For the second time that night, Alex realised just how cowardly she truly was.

With her mind and heart in chaos, she did not want to hear what had happened between the two werewolves, so she walked back to her room.