She should have asked.

When she browbeat Theo into driving her to confront Gabriel, she should have bloody well asked where the jerk was having his meeting.

Now standing outside of the Boston Fraser, Alex felt like she couldn't move. The hotel named after her mother towered over her. The giant Christmas Tree by the entrance with its mismatched decorations showed that the quirky style of the place had not changed. Alex had come here at least three-times a year when James was doing his undergrad degree at Harvard.

When she was eleven, her father had a grand-winged piano transported into the lobby just so Alex could play Debussy's Nocturne as a surprise for mother's day. James, being the one with a true artistic gift, presented their mother with a portrait that the hotel manager insisted should be hung near the check-in desk. Was it still there? Did the portrait entitled Bridget Fraser Blake still look out over the display of colourful glass candies she had purchased from a master craftsmen in Murano?

"Alex?" Theo, having handed the car keys to the valet, gave her a questioning look. "You're not holding onto that anger are you? Please don't, I swear Gabriel didn't mean to make you mad. He just... ah let him explain himself, he shouldn't be much longer. We can wait in the lobby for his meeting to finish, okay?"

Holding onto anger? Everything had left her mind the moment they pulled up to this place. She knew she had thrown a fit to make Theo bring her here, but now she couldn't bring herself to go in. "I've changed my mind, Theo. Would you mind calling the car back?"

"What?" Theo looked around at the entrance of the hotel, the glass windows of its cafe and the pleasantly smiling doormen. "What's wrong? Did something happen?" He lowered his voice, narrowing his eyes on the scant number of people passing by the revolving doors. "Did someone touch you?"

She might have teased him about acting like a mother-hen if she didn't feel so off balance. "I'm fine. I just realised I was being unreasonable. You said Gabriel was coming back to see me after his meeting, so I'll wait for him in my room."

"Alright," Theo agreed reluctantly and headed back towards the Valet stand on the other side of the door.

Alex looked after him, watching as he handed a card to a young looking boy and reached a gloved hand into his coat pocket for his wallet. It was a cold day. The kind of day where frost froze on windshields, sidewalks glistened and the thought of hot soup warmed the soul. Luca had been talking about working on a novel rendition of clam chowder; today would be a great day for that. Yes, that was a great idea. She had to cook something, then everything would feel better.

"You're here."

That voice.

Alex whirled back towards the hotel entrance, her eyes going wide at the sight of James. He was here. Her brother. Walking out of their mother's hotel like it was ten years ago, like nothing had changed.

"Alexandra." He spoke again, stopping a few feet from her, waiting for her to say something, but she couldn't. His familiar scent enveloped her; the warm amber of his skin, the spice of his aftershave and coffee.

"It's you. I knew it was you back in New York. But Alex, why? Why did you leave me?" He stepped closer now, close enough to touch.

"Mr Blake?" Theo took a step towards them, but stopped suddenly after looking at someone behind James's tall frame.

"I don't know what you mean," her protest was halfhearted and she knew she wasn't controlling her expression well, but it was too hard. Seeing him now, here of all places...she felt like she couldn't breath. Her brother, her blood, her only family. She wanted to bury her face into his jumper and hold on forever, but it was exactly that feeling that stopped her from doing anything at all...because she couldn't touch him.

She was a freak. A freak that would hold him back.

"Alexandra," her brother reached out a shaky hand and touched her cheek. She drew all his pain, feeling the tightness that was squeezing his heart. She was hurting him. She had never meant to hurt him. "You are my only family in this world. It doesn't matter why you disappeared. It doesn't matter Alex, just please don't run away. Stay where I can see you, where I can know that you are safe." He leaned his head on her shoulder, his voice hoarse as he begged her. "Don't tell me it's not you. These are your eyes. No one else could have my little sisters eyes."

A tear slipped down her cheek as she stared over James' back to where Gabriel watched them silently, his expression giving nothing away. Seeing him gave her the jolt she needed to pull out of her haze. The pain she drew had dimmed to a dull throb now and the cold Boston air helped numb her erratic feelings. Alex pulled herself together and stepped back.

"I have to go," she spoke softly, unwilling to keep lying outright.

James drew a hand across his face, wiping at his eyes before squaring his shoulders. He always put on a strong front, had done so even when they were children, so few people in his life realised that sometimes he needed to be taken care of too. But who was taking care of him now? If he was truly convinced that she was alive, wouldn't that mean that he would have found out Lauren's part in her pretence? Did he fight badly with her? Worry took hold, prompting Alex to speak once more. "You should go back in, you've come out without a jacket."

James' sad eyes lit with a touch of humour, "I missed your nagging."

Alex looked away, realising she had erred and not wanting to say more. The valet pulled up with Theo's car at the moment and Gabriel moved towards them silently. She reached out for his hand, hoping that he was reading her thoughts. She wanted to leave. Before she made an even bigger mistake she had to leave. Please, let's leave.

"It was a pleasure speaking to you, Mr Blake," Gabriel said, pulling her closer to his warmth. Then he sent a quick look over to Theo who grabbed the keys from the valet and headed for the drivers seat. "Unfortunately, we are going to have to go now."

Speaking to you? Was James the person Gabriel had come to see?

"Likewise, Mr Moncrief." James looked from their joined hands to her weak smile. "I'll have your contract sent to my lawyer and signed today. In return, take good care of my sister. If any harm comes to her...I'm don't like making threats, but you catch my drift."

With one last smile in her direction, James turned and entered the hotel to a cacophony of: "Welcome back Mr Blake."

"Come on," Gabriel tugged at her hand, then led her to the waiting car.