Endings are the saddest part, so just give me a happy middle. And a very happy start.

-Shel Silverstein

Warning: the following chapter might have some disturbing themes.

Third-person POV

When Eliana lied down next to Rafael she wanted to believe it's alright now, she's safe and everything is well.

But it wasn't because her stomach was hurting for some time now. She realized her current predicament makes it impossible for her to fall asleep. She felt icky so she decided to go to the bathroom to see what's happening.

"Oh fuck" she gasped seeing the dark spots of blood. Did she just have a miscarriage or is there something wrong with the baby? No, absolutely not. It couldn't be happening tonight, not when she already decided to keep it. Not right after she shot dead another human. Was it a nightmare? Was she sleeping? This couldn't be her reality.

"Rafael, get up," she said quietly, shaking his arm gently. He was a light sleeper so he didn't need much. He gave her a questioning look.

"I think I have a miscarriage"

Next moment Eliana found herself in the car driving towards the hospital. She could barely speak, she kept quiet and Rafael wasn't talkative either. For once Eliana was thankful for his quietness.

Of course, they didn't have to wait long for the doctor's visit, Rafael could be very convincing if he wanted. The doctor confirmed that Eliana had lost her baby.

"Ma'am was that your first pregnancy?" the blond-haired woman asked gently and Eliana nodded still in shock over what happened.

"It's my fault," she whispered. If she was taking better care of herself this wouldn't happened.

"Miscarriages are common during the first trimester of pregnancy," Rafael said.

"Exactly, it happens, more often than you think" the doctor assured in a calming manner as if it was to her help.

Eliana nodded wordlessly, unable to say a word. She could feel Rafael's hand gently touching hers. He was there for her and when the tears started flowing down her cheeks he hugged her tightly.

"I will give both of you some privacy," the Doctor said gently and left.

"Well," Eliana started saying while her cheek was resting on Rafael's suit. "That's a fucking irony, don't you think? I wanted to remove it and it removed itself" she said bitterly and started crying and laughing. She looked absolutely mad. "Maybe it's a good time to dump me, don't you think? We can end it now. A good way out" she suggested and she could feel how Rafael's body stiffened.

"You never wanted to get rid of that child but you were scared of being a mother, weren't you?" he asked quietly.

"The hell are you talking about? Of course, I wanted to remove that thing!" Eliana said with conviction. She abruptly stood up and looked at him with anger. Rafael met her gaze with a stoic expression like he always had like nothing ever bothered him at all.

"That's why you refused alcohol when you learned you might be pregnant. That's why you asked me to choose if you should remove it or not, you knew I wouldn't want it. You were just afraid to admit in front of yourself that you wanted this child all along"

"Why are you saying this now?" Eliana whispered with tears in her eyes. She hated it. She hated the way he understood her more she understood herself, how he was saying things she couldn't admit. She didn't want to admit it. She wanted it to go away.

"The sooner you accept it the sooner you can deal with this loss," Rafael said.

Bullshit. Eliana will never deal with it. She was never good at dealing with things. Rafael seemed to be an exact opposite of her in this regard. But was he? Was he so different?

"And what about you?" Eliana asked.

"What about me?" Rafael's voice hardened. His dark eyes became colder.

"How are you feeling?"

This is when Rafael stood up. "Take your things. We need to get you discharged" he said in an emotionless voice, without looking at her.

"Rafael"

"What?"

"Talk to me, '' Eliana said firmly. He always acted like he's invincible. When will be the moment when he's honest about his feelings with her? When will he stop hiding them between the mask of indifference?

Author's note:

Don't kill me?