Rose

Caleb takes a seat next to me and I shift closer to the arm rest. He's always been too clingy, like a child reaching out for his mom. I know he's actually really pitiful, but at this point, so am I.

I get up from the chair as Caleb scooches even closer and stand by the wall.

There goes my view...

He gets up too and stands in front of me, holding his hands in his pockets, looking down as he avoids eye contact, but peeks up shyly from the floor time to time.

I sigh.

"Yes?" I ask, crossing my arms on my chest and glaring at him.

He breathes deeply and takes his hands out his pockets, shaking his fingers.

Is he nervous? After all this time? I'm getting married to a fucking coward.

He stops his fidgeting and looks me directly in my eyes.

"Yes?" I repeat, getting annoyed.

"Its nothing really, I just wanted to ask if you were ok. I know I've put you through a lot, you know I'm sorry. I just want to become a shoulder you can cry on...as your future husband." He mumbles the last bit.

My future husband...

I scoff.

"You're a good guy, Caleb. I'm fine." I put my hand on his shoulder and pat, then let my arm fall back to my side, where it tenses again. I haven't been able to relax since I was thrown back in Italy. There's always some part of me that stiffens and refuses to let go. I can't even control it anymore. Maybe, I've had psychological damage happen because of all this. It wouldn't surprise me.

It's nothing serious for now though. I just don't want to let my guard down. So I don't let myself relax. Not even in my room.

Someone touches my elbow and I flinch, swinging my fist, full force, towards the person. I stop less than an inch from Caleb's nose.

He stands frozen with a frown on.

"You're not fine. You're not fine at all." He takes a step to me and brings my arm down, while I breathe heavily.

"It doesn't matter." I calm down and rip my arm from his hands.

I look to my side and find my father watching me, sliently, again as if he was sad about something.

So whatever he's hiding has to do with me?

I turn away and go to the couch to sit. Caleb follows.

"You can tell me what's wrong." He leans into my personal space.

"Is the problem not obvious...?" I take a deep breath so I don't snap in a random boutique in the middle of Venice.

"I meant, you should let me console you. It would probably help you feel better."

"If you really want to help me out, let me beat you up." I say in all seriousness.

"Ok. I'm yours to use." He replies almost immediately.

I shake my head.

"I dont know what you hope to get from 'cheering me up' but this feeling won't go away until the day I die. Get used to it." I shrug and move to get away from him, when suddenly, Caleb yanks me back into his lap.

I instantly squirm to get up but he holds me down. I freeze as his face nears mine. The look in his eyes are crazied and he frowns.

"You should just let me fucking comfort you." He sneers, so close to my face now, his breath fans me.

"What the fuck?!" I push off him and stand in front of him. What the hell was that?

"I'm sorry that came out wrong, Rose I-"

"Damn right it came out wrong. You give me worse vibes every day. It's like you're pretending to be helpless. I don't like it."

Caleb becomes quiet and looks down.

I suck my teeth and walk toward the desk where my father stands.

That was just like him threatening me with the cameras, the day he first realized who I was, and that day in the kitchen.

He called me fucking princess. He might be telling me the truth but something is off with the way he acts.

When did I forget who the person who brought me here was? When did I start to see him as weak and harmless? Believing all his stories and words?

I might have fallen into a trap, one I just found my way out of.

Ryder

I hold the paper towel letter Rose left to me to my chest as I lie into Rose's bed, covering myself in her smell.

I grip her sheets and rub my cheek into her mattress. This is the only place I can slightly calm down.

I close my eyes and remember her smile.

The day we went to the park, the movie marathon, cooking together...

I just want more of those times with her. When she's back in my arms, I'm never letting her go again. She's mine, and I'm hers.

Gang activities stopped the moment she left. I can't concentrate on anything but her. Drug deals, debt collections, petty battles with smaller gangs, all of it's stopped.

I can't say everyone's happy about my state right now but I don't care. I need my woman back. I need her.

I didn't understand before what the corny drama shows meant by "I can't remember how I lived before her", but now I do. Waking up every day feels wrong without her smart comments and little grins leading the way through this house.

I even miss her adorable scoff. I don't know how I went without it before I knew her. It's crazy how thinking back, I used to be just fine being alone in this huge mansion.

I haven't tried seeing if I can live without her, trying to act as if there's no problem and everything's fine, because why waste time when I know I'll go crazy eventually.

I'm already going crazy.

Soon, she'll be back though. She will.

"Ryder!" A voice calls me from below.

That voice...

The voice of a woman I thought had forgotten all about me. I told her to.

I'll always love her, but this just isn't the time to pop up out of nowhere and stress me out some more.

"Ryder!" The sound is closer.

I hold the letter tighter.

Rose...

"Ryder!" The door brusts open and I simply look up.

The woman meets my eyes and I turn around to avoid hers.

"Ryder, you haven't seen your mom in almost a year and this is how you treat her?"

______________________________________

2M

5/13/19

It was mothers day yesterday right? Funny how that lined up with this chapter. Seriously was not planned.

I'm not disney channel guys this isnt an episode special.

Thanks for all the support and love we hit 2Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Im so grateful I really love yall.

Should I do another week of updates? After my test (on Thursday) of course.

Love yalllllllllllllllll

Ciao.