2 more days until my father walks me down the aisle of misery. The path that's supposed to lead me to happiness is now the path that will lead me to a prison, in law and in body, I won't ever be able to escape.

Not according to mafia morales, you only get married once and only death can separate the pair. Divorce isn't even a word here. My heart will always belong to Ryder though, that's one thing they can't control.

If I ever get the chance, I'll kill Caleb and run off. Maybe in a couple of decades when my family doesn't think I care about Ryder anymore. Then it'll be safe for me and him to get away and live our lives.

But maybe not. I still have the servants lives on my back that I have to carry, and I won't let them down. I can't.

I just have to deal with the shit I put myself into. I stayed by myself for so long hoping this wouldn't happen but I guess what's meant to be is meant to be.

I really didn't want to give my father anyone he could hold against me but Ryder fucking kidnapped me. Stupid ass.

I chuckle.

I'm kinda happy it turned out like this though. I've never felt as happy anywhere as when I was with him. It had been a long time since I'd actually felt anything other than hate and numbness when he met me. He caused a lot more of it and I honestly don't know why or how I fell in love with him.

I scoff. I'd die if I was ever this corny out loud, it's ew to me.

Thinking back I-

My thoughts are interrupted as Caleb walks into the room.

I glare at him as he sways his way to my bed.

He can't walk straight and his eyes cant seem to focus. He has this lazy swing to each step and finally he collapses on my bed next to me.

"Rose, you know how I feel. Why...why would you leave me? Why are you throwing me away?" He slurs.

The whaft of alcohol reaches my nose and I cringe back.

Here we go again...

"Caleb, get out. In 2 days, we'll be married, talk to me then." I roll over and wait for the creature behind me to leave.

A hand slides on my cheek and lightly comes to stroke my lips. I jump up and smack his arm.

I grab his arm and dig my nails into it. Blood flows out and down onto my pillow. He's pushing my limits.

He looks at me blankly.

"Is this my punishment? If I let you rip off my arm, will you forgive me?"

I fling his arm away from me and get off the bed.

"Why are you here? What's done is done, you can't take back what happened. I don't care who threatened you, you still broke."

He sits up on the bed and starts laughing. My eyebrows frow as I look at him with confusion.

"I just did what I had to. They found out, said they would kill you and my guys if I didn't tell them everyone who was involved in this, and so I told them. You know what I thought when they questioned me?"

I blink at him.

He smiles.

"What would Rose do? I thought, 'Rose wouldn't leave anyone behind. She would save everyone and sacrifice herself, like she did before.' I thought, 'is this a chance to finally stand up for myself, or is this the easy way out?' Finally, I realized no matter what I do someone would be hurt. So I decided that I'd save as many people as possible and lose your trust in me. I just didn't know it would hurt this much. I tried so hard to protect you and I guess I've lost the last thing I care about. You'll always hate me."

I stand stunned. I don't know what to say. From what I'm hearing, he was desperate to protect all of us and did what he thought was best. It is what I would do but that doesn't change the fact he's the reason I lost the only person I care so deeply about.

"Sorry, Caleb I get it but-but it'll take me a little more time to forgive you. I get that you did what you did for a reason and I don't hate you so much anymore. I just need time. We have nothing but time so just wait a bit."

His eyes widen and he hops off the bed.

"Seriously? You'll...forgive me?" He walks towards me.

I nod, avoiding his eyes.

He brings his arms around me and hugs me to his chest. I push him away and hold him at distance.

"I told you to give me some time. Don't touch me. Get out."

He nods and, a bit more sober, leaves.

This is who I'll spend the rest of my life with, I might as well get along with him. I understand why he did it.

Losing Ryder was for the better. If we stayed together, we'd still be hunted by the Busken.

I'll protect him by keeping away.

2 more days and I accept someone, I'll never love.

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1.87M

4/21/19

Idk if its been a week but here yall go...

Im really sad its the end of spring break so I'll just leave this here.

Love y'all thanks for all the support.

Ciao.