I cross another red light, easing up on the gas pedal as I turn into the parking lot of the airport.

I look around and see how crowded the lot is. Where are people going in the middle of spring? What the fuck?!

I get stuck in a lane of slow moving cars and feel my nails dig into my palm from how tightly my fist is clenched.

I honk loudly and cuss, but the line moves just as slowly and I recieve a couple middle fingers.

I'm already so mad, I can't even be bothered at this point.

I fidget with my fingers and bite my nails. I can't stay still. Even my breathing shudders. I run my hands through my hair and look out the window to see we havent moved at all.

I'm wasting time. I reach down and grab my phone from the floor. I turn it on and check the clock.

11:55 am. I'm late. My breathing quickens.

Fuck this.

I jump out the car, not caring whether the people behind me or in front, are affected. I run to the airport entrance, weaving through the people and the cars in my way, slipping into the building.

I speed dial Luke, pressing the 1 key on my phone.

"I brought as many boys as I could but we cant find Rose. I'm sorry, Ryder. I think she's..."

I feel dizzy. The world feels like it's collapsing on me. I can't breathe.

My feet take off and my eyes wildly search for her.

"...no, no I can still make it. Don't stop looking, we need to find her. She's in danger. I promised I would keep her safe. I said I would protect her. We have to keep-"

"Ryder! She left. She ran away once and she did it again. It's not that surprising. Calm down."

I shake my head, still looking for her, running up and down the space, pushing pass people.

"No, it's not like that this time. Don't make it sound like that. She did this for all of us. She gave up herself for our protection." I slow down, taking fewer steps, feeling the fear and sadness that seems stuck at the back of my throat, erupt and spread through me. I drop the phone.

Nausea overwhelms me and I stumble over to the nearest trash can I see, throwing up in it.

A hand lands on my back and flinch, looking behind me to see Ethan look at with pity.

I cough and wipe my mouth with the back of my hand.

"Don't look at me like that. She didn't leave me. She was taken." I stand up, shrugging his hand off me, but my knees buckle underneath me and I fall.

"Boss, just let her go. She was just some hoe. She got what she wanted and then disappeared. I knew she was bad for you, the moment I saw her. It's good that she's gone. Fuck that bitch, lets go get some pizza." He says, leaning over me.

My anger boils over and I turn around, swinging on him. The punch sends him back a couple steps and I stand up.

"Rose isn't just some hoe. She's not anything like what you think. You don't know her! Fuck off before I beat your ass. I'm not stable right now, I might accidentally kill you." My hands shake and itch to do something. Anything.

"She ruined you." Ethan sneers at me, rubbing his jaw.

"I love her." I breathe, feeling the adrenaline in me espace all at once.

I go find a seat and sit down, putting my head in my hands.

Tears fill my eyes and I feel them drop down my cheeks.

I've never felt so broken, so gone. It's like I'm not even here. Everything feels so surreal, like a dream.

Rose isn't here anymore. She might never come back. Where is she? If I can't find her, I'll never see her again.

Something inside me breaks some more and pain floods throughout my body. I throw my head back and my limbs slack.

The sunshine coming through the windows, on my skin feels cold. The colors surrounding me slowly drain away and everything becomes dull. Gray. My tears flow down my face, but I feel nothing.

I can't live without her but she's gone.

I have to get her back. It doesn't matter how, I just need her back.

I...couldn't protect her. But I will, I'll find her. I'll go anywhere, everywhere.

I pick my head up and tense my body.

I have to pull myself together. For Rose. We aren't done. We won't ever end.

Don't worry Rose, I won't let you suffer. I'm coming, I'll always be there. I'm yours...

And you're mine.

Rose

I sneak through the kitchen, trying to get to the back door.

My heart is heavy and my feet feel more and more stuck with each step away from Ryder.

Fuck Caleb, I'll be the one to kill him. Just for a little relief.

I turn the corner and slip out the door, jogging down the walkway.

I see a black jeep in front of me and the door suddenly opens. Caleb steps out and smiles at me.

I glare at him, hoping he feels the hate from my gaze.

"I'm glad you made it. I'll open the door for you." He makes his way to the back seat doors and I wave him off.

"I can take care of myself. I don't want you touching anything of mine."

He nods shyly and turns. I look at him with confusion.

What's with this guy? Bipolar?

I hop in the car and look to the side of me, flinching back when I see my mother next to me.

She doesn't smell like alcohol for once and she's groomed. I stare at her wide-eyed.

"Hi, honey." She says softly, unable to look me in my eyes.

"What are you doing here?" I ask, as anger bubbles up.

"Your Dad said he needed his wife and daughter so we're bringing you both." Caleb states, without tone.

My mom nods and I see the slight smile on her face. As if she's happy about this...

"You want to go back?" I tilt my head and wait for her response.

"Yes..." She whispers, not looking at me at all. Her head is turned away from me.

"Are you serious?" I blink at her.

"I haven't really been living these 3 years. I thought leaving him would set me free but I love him. Being without him was like I lost a piece of myself." She spaces out and seems gone. Her eyes hold no emotion.

She's dead. The mother I knew before, the mother I used to know. She's died. I'm talking to a empty shell who's trying to act like nothing's changed from 3 years ago. A broken woman.

"I've lost you, Mom." I sigh. "Maybe it's my fault for giving up on you. I'm sorry. I'm really fucking sorry." I turn and put my head against the window as we drive. She doesn't respond.

Ryder, hurry up and come get me, like you always do.

I'll miss you until then but I won't lose myself to these people. Not like my Mom, because I have you.

I'll wait for you. I'm sorry. I hope you guys find the letters. I hope I can stay strong.

...I love you.

______________________________________

818k

2/1/19

Day 2, 5 more left

I'm at lunch so see u guys

Thx again for the views and shit.

Ciao.