Ryder

Rose is off today...

I've never seen her so...nice.

It's cute but its scaring me. Why would she act like this?

I stand next to her, leaning on the counter, watching her as she talks to the salesman.

"So the S8 has a good camera?" She asks.

"Yeah, hold up, let me show you..." His eyes seem to only see Rose, as he turns and opens a door behind him and disappears into.

"I don't like the way he's looking at you." I say, glaring into the direction he went in.

"...I love it when you're jealous." Rose glances at me as my eyes snap back to hers.

"I'm being serious."

"So am I." She says, pushing off the counter.

She moves to in front of me and lays her front on mine, caging me in her arms as she puts them behind me, next to mine, on the counter.

My lower region heats up and I hear my heart pound in my ears. The pressure of her body on mine causes tingles to travel up my spine and I resist the urge to kiss her.

"Am I making you nervous?" She whispers in my ear, smirking.

She's playing with me. Again.

"Rose, you're such a--" Suddenly, her lips are pressed against mine and her hands comes to the nape of my neck, pulling me in.

I respond instantly wrapping my arms around her waist.

Surprise hits me as I easily dominate the kiss.

Rose...?

"See look...Oh." He avoids looking at us. I hold Rose tighter.

"Sorry, my girlfriend gets carried away sometimes." I stress the word girlfriend and watch his face tense. Why's he surprised? She's mine.

Rose scoffs.

"I think we'll just buy it and go." I say, feeling a smirk appear on my face.

He nods stiffly and brings out the phone. We pay and head out. I keep my arm around Rose the whole time. She doesn't protest.

It's dangerous letting her out of my sight. Too many wolves. I'm lucky she's more a fox than some lamb.

We sit in the car and suddenly Rose laughs. I turn to look at her.

The corners of her eyes wrinkle and she smiles widely. I can help but watch, stunned.

She's so beautiful. From the way she sleeps, talks, even her sarcasm. Everything.

Our conversations that are full of nothing but something enough to make me fall harder and harder for her each time we have them.

I smile.

I love all of her.

"Ryder? You're staring." She smirks, bringing her face inches from mine.

I come in even closer, brushing the tips of our noses together.

"I wish I could forever."

Her face expression changes for a second and she looks down avoiding my eyes. Sorrow fills hers and her lips tremble.

Confusion spreads through me.

"Rose, what's wrong--"

She kisses me again, cutting me off for the second time today. I pull back, putting my hands on her shoulders and pushing away gently.

"Rose, what's wrong? You can't just shut me up, you're worried about something and you seem really sad. This whole day you've been acting really strange. I like it, a lot really but if you're not happy, you don't have to act like you are. Don't pretend around me. Is it Caleb?" I hold her cheek, stroking it with my thumb.

She looks conflicted as her eyes look at everything but me.

"I just want-these couple of days to be perfect. That's all. I'm scared they won't be. Caleb... well, don't worry about him. Ryder as long as I'm with you, I'll be fine." She nods, as if she was talking to herself.

I nod.

"Let's go watch a movie. Then we can get a hotel room." She says, turning and opening the packaging of her phone.

She's lying to me. Something's wrong and she's not telling me.

I'll find out. I have to, cause now I'm scared too.

Rose

I was so close to spilling everything.

I'm fighting myself trying not to say anything.

Maybe I could get us new clothes and we can escape. Leave and never come back.

...but then his gang would be killed off and Caleb would know we ran because he wouldn't have any eyes on me. We'd never make it.

Shit, I never win.

If Ryder and his group were stronger maybe they could've went up against my father.

Something crosses my mind.

Ryder...said he had other branches. If he can get them all together then...maybe he could fight them.

I still can't tell him I'm leaving or else he'd come with me but I can leave a note. Something that tells him to get all his men together, all his men from around the world, and train them.

I feel myself almost shaking in my seat from this idea.

I need someone I trust who can keep Ryder from coming to get me so he can focus on the training.

Why the fuck didn't I think of this earlier?

I'll have to write a lot of notes in the shower today, but it'll all be worth it.

As much as I wish others lives were not involved, that's just how it turned out.

I'm selfish, willing to risk all these people for a love I'd die for, but I don't care anymore. As Queen, I have a right to ask my men for their service and they have the right to say no to that.

I'll do whatever it takes to stay by Ryder's side and lead this group with him.

I don't want to give up yet. Not on this, not on Ryder. I'm not a weak bitch, I wasn't raised to be one.

I'll face my father just like I planned.

He'll have his army and hopefully I'll have mine.

My heart beats quickly in my chest and I try to hide my expression from Ryder sitting next to me.

I'm leaving but this isn't goodbye. No, even if this plan doesn't work out I'll find my way back to Ryder. I love him.

This isn't a farewell trip anymore. It's a trip to fight back.

And I'll go in shooting bullets and throwing fists, to stay with him.

I won't be caged again. I'll find my freedom and I won't have to run away to get it.

This is my last hope.

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1/5/19

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Ciao.