I watched as ice-cold water rained down on her, soaking her from head to toe.

She went completely still. But she didn't make a single noise.

I turned it off. "Ready to hear me out now?"

"No," she laughed humorlessly, shaking her head wildly, splashing water on me too. I rolled my eyes and turned the water back on, making her shriek this time. It's very cold, she had to react. "Reece!" she screamed, trying to step out of the water but I held her in place. "Reece, stop! Please!" She closed her eyes when water started getting in her eyes and blurring her vision. "Reece!" She sounded like she was going to cry.

I wanted to stop but I didn't. I don't know why she's reacting like this. I know her to be calm. Even when she's doing something reckless, she's calm. Maybe I actually really pissed her off and hurt her feelings, or maybe it's the period. But she's lashing out.

"Reece!"

I think she's actually crying now. I slowly let go of her wrists and she opened her eyes before she started to hit my chest, throwing little jabs. I turned the water off, staring at her. I'm half wet myself.

She sniffled loudly and then let out a sob. "Why the fuck would you do that?" She reached for the towel hanging on top of the glass door but I pinned her to the wall again, my hands on either side of her head. She shivered slightly, looking at me. Her face was flushed, her lips, cheeks, and the tip of her nose pink. Her eyes were a little red and raw too. Not sure if that was from the crying or the water.

"Listening?" I asked. I have weird ways of making her listen, it's twisted, even for me.

"You needed to give me a cold shower to make me listen?" she asked, her voice was hard and strained.

"You weren't listening," I said softly.

She gave me a shove but I didn't budge. She moved to go under my arm but I trapped her there too before she could move out and her back immediately hit the shower handle, flipping it on.

The water poured down on me since I was standing right under it now and it drenched me within seconds. She stared at me and I sighed, letting the water pour down. "I want to toss you to the side like that. Very, very badly," I said, talking over the sound of pouring water. "But I can't. I can't bring myself to do it. I wanted to try it. And I did just a second ago. But it didn't feel very nice. I thought it would feel a little good to know I'm still the same. But no. Not nice at all," I groaned.

She stared at me while I brought my hand up, pushing my hair back.

"I can't toss you aside like I wish I could. I don't want to stop this with you. That's kind of scary and new to me. I don't like you, Indie. But I want this to keep going a little longer, whatever it is, okay?"

"I don't like you either, you asshole. I was just kidding."

"Were you really? Because—"

"Because what?"

"Your eyes made it look like your words were genuine."

"I can be deceiving."

I stared at her, my lips twitching to smile. "I'm attracted to you. That's it," I said, telling the truth both to her and myself. I don't want her to misread anything and assume I have feelings for her.

"I'm attracted to you too. And that's it!"

I nodded, believing her. She's saying it again and again. And even though my gut says she's lying, my instincts are telling me she just doesn't want to let go yet either so she's lying. I believe her. I believe what she's telling me. Because this way, if she gets hurt, it's on her. And only her. I've warned her repeatedly. She knows what kind of a guy I am. And if she doesn't believe it, then that's her fault, not mine.

"Good?" she scoffed.

"Great," I mumbled before pulling forward and kissing her.

She kissed me back quickly, her hands grabbing onto my shirt, moving up to my shoulders, then slowly to the back of my neck with one hand running through my hair. She bit down on my bottom lip. Hard. And I thought she was about to kill me and she was still mad. But then she slowed down and softened the kiss too, soothing my lip after biting it.

I reached around her and turned the water off before slowly pulling away from her. "Let me remind you, you're on your period," I chuckled.

She let out a sigh and then looked at me. She looked me up and down. "How will you get back like this?"

"Wet," I shrugged, straightening up and looking down at my-drenched self.

"The laundry room is downstairs. I'll dry them for you."

"And I will...?"

"Roam around naked," she laughed.

"Haha," I deadpanned.

She rolled her eyes, pointing to the door. I looked over and saw my shirt from this morning. "You can wear that. And I must have some men's sweatpants I've bought. I'll give you those."

I nodded. We both got out and I stripped down to my briefs before going into her room. I opened her closet and grabbed her fresh underwear, a t-shirt, and sweats. I handed them to her and she closed the door, quickly changing. She came out and grabbed me a pair of sweats and then ushered me back into the bathroom. Once I changed, I grabbed my drenched clothes and hers and held onto them. I came out and she held out a laundry basket.

"Drop them in here. I'll be right back."

I dropped them into the laundry basket and took the basket from her. "I'll come with you."

She smiled and then I followed her out.

Chloe looked at us in confusion. "Where are you guys going?" She pulled her headphones off.

"Dirty laundry," I winked.

She shook her head and got back to gluing down petals and leaves. Whiskey even fell asleep beside her.

I followed Indie out and into the elevator, both of us going down to the lobby. On the opposite end of the lobby was the laundry room. It was empty, at this day and hour, which made sense. It's a Tuesday afternoon, nobody does laundry at a day and time and like this. She loaded our clothes in the dryer and then turned it on, both of us sitting on two of the vacant machines.

I turned to look at her, watched her while she rocked her legs back and forth, staring at them. I just can't shake the feeling that she lied to me. About not really liking me, about it just being a joke. It got me thinking about what I would do if she did ever tell me she really liked me.

What would I say? How would I react? What would I do? Would I change my mind and pursue a relationship with her? Or would I do what I've always done and run from a relationship?

There's a reason I do that but no one seems to understand it. I come from a very toxic household. My parents were together for so long and they were both miserable with their relationship. They both had multiple affairs and sometimes, they wouldn't even bother hiding it from each other. I would be in the living room with my dad and my mom would come home with another man. Or I would be in the kitchen with my mom and my dad would come home with another woman. It was like a competition. Who gets laid the most?

And I had to be involved, of course. So not only that, but they would always ask me. My dad would question, "Reece, Lindy was nice, wasn't she? I met her at the golf park. She has a son your age, you should come with me. You like her, don't you?"

Or my mother would ask, "Reece, what do you think of Tony? He's got a real nice bike you could ride you know. Go for a ride with him. Would you like that? He's nice, isn't he?"

My parents weren't always bad parents. Not even bad people, necessarily. Just bad partners. The problem wasn't their relationship, it was them. They never even tried. They just cheated again, and again, and again. And that means the blood running through me is of two cheaters. And that's why I don't do relationships. Because I'm terrified of some girl that's nice, and pure, and kind-hearted.

Not a cheater. Like Indie.

Because that nice, pure, and kind-hearted girl will fall in love with me. And then I'll turn out just like my parents. Lying, manipulative, toxic.

A cheater.

I'm not scared of getting hurt. I'm scared of hurting someone. I don't want that guilt on me, I don't want the blood on my hands. I don't want to be responsible for breaking someone's heart. It's very much possible that I'm not like my parents. And I won't cheat. And I'll love and cherish a girl as I should. But it's not a risk worth taking. I can't start something I know might end in heartbreak for someone else. I can't break someone's faith in love like my parents broke mine.

Especially not hers. Not Indie's. Never.

"You're staring," she said without looking at me.

"I'm thinking," I replied, still watching her.

"About?" She chuckled softly, still not looking at me.

"What I'm afraid of."

"And what's that, Reece?" There was something about the way she asked me that. Or the way she said my name, I don't know. I felt almost compelled to tell her.

"Hurting you. Breaking you beyond repair."

Because she's already been cheated on. Once that I know of. I know she doesn't get attached, but it has to hurt her just a little. She's already been cheated on once, I don't want to do that to her again.

But what if it's not me and someone else?

"Would you rather it be someone else?" she asked. I stared at her as she turned to look at me. She smiled. "Love sucks, Reece. And we both know that if you don't, someone else will. If it isn't you, this time it will be someone else."

That first night I asked her, "If it's not me, will it be someone else?"

And she replied, "Probably not."

But now her answer is changing. Now, she'll take what she gets. Whether that's me or someone else. "What will you do then? Watch me from afar because you've fucked this up? Or hold my hand and fuck me slowly till I'm over it? Hmm? Will you always be my distraction then?" She hopped off as the timer went off on the dryer and it slowed down to a stop. "Will we always use and abuse each other like this, Reece?"

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