Two red lines appeared on the tiny stick.

Pregnant written across the little screen.

Twenty two pregnancy tests all positive.

My hands started to shake. I felt my heart thumping in my chest fighting to jump out. My breath hitched in my throat, nothing came out. I was pregnant with his child and he hated my guts.

The last stick dropped on the hotel's bathroom floor alongside my body as my knees finally gave up. Tear drops fell down my cheeks.

I had a baby growing inside of me. A new innocent life, our child.

I felt all kinds of feelings rushing through my vein in full force making my head dizzy, eyes blurry and suddenly I wanted threw up to get rid of the nerve. What the fuck was I supposed to do? I could barely take care of myself let alone a child. I was scared. Frightened to fuck this baby's life up staining its life with my horrible way of living.

I didn't have a single maternity bone in me.

Its father made it clear he never wanted to see my face ever again or he would rip me apart with his bare hands. He walked away to save himself and his family not knowing he was about to have his own, leaving me scared and completely alone.

" What the fuck am I going to do? "

I touched my stomach and suddenly like magic existed, I felt a little less torn like all was fine. I wasn't sure how was I going to do this but somehow I knew it was all going to be better with this little one beside me and we were going to be just fine together.

My heart burst in disbelief and thoughts became all fuzzy, I couldn't think straight. We might have never planned this but the fact that the life growing inside of me was made out of love and that this was a symbol of the love between him and I amazed me. This child was conceived by our love. And, I was going to do the right thing.

Little one and I would be fine right next to each other.

" Fuck. I think I love you already and I'm not even sure if that's possible. Your mother and love don't mix well together but I guess you're an exception, little one. " I chuckled dryly while wiping my tears away.

Thinking back to all those time I consumed alcohol my heart almost dropped to my stomach as guilt hit me full force, I didn't know. Without any further thought I put my shades on and rushed to the hospital, the one where there was no Eden Salvatore.

I listened to every little things the doctor said carefully not wanting to miss even a bit of tiny detail. I was two months pregnant. The baby was conceived in Italy on our first date making my heart ached even more longing for its father. He was supposed to be here standing next to me holding my hands while he fired the doctor with hundred of questions and told me everything was going to be fine.

Clutching the sonogram tightly between my palm, I dialed his number with shaky hand. He might want nothing to do with me but he deserved to know about this baby and our child needed its father.

I desperately wanted him into be there in his or her life because I understood the longs to have your father. I would never wish for my child to go through what I went through.

My heartbeat picked up with every passing beeps, no answer. He didn't pick up. So, I left him a voicemail with a simple I'm pregnant. You're going to be a father. Call me. Still no response. Three days after that I tried texting him and sending him endless emails. Still nothing. A day before I decided to leave London I wrote him a handwritten letter and mailed it to his house hoping he would finally respond.

He didn't. He never did. So, I took the sign and finally left on the first bus to Cambridge with a heavy heart aching for my baby.

I couldn't love my child more than I did right now and at this moment I knew I would do anything for this child. I was going to make sure he or she would be showered with loves and lived the best life possible, if that was the last thing I did.

" We're going to be just fine, little one. " I rubbed my stomach as I stared outside the window watching the buildings of London fading away slowly.

Moving to Cambridge was my instant choice, even if the father wanted nothing to do with us, I still wanted our child to grow up closer to its father and his family, on the same land he grew up in. It was the best I could do for him or her to have at least a little connection between the two of them.

" I can't believe this. You're knocked up and alone in England. Fuck. " Rudrika yelled through the phone.

" You can say that a million time more and I will still be pregnant and alone. " I pouted mentally rolling my eyes.

" Do you have a place to stay at? "

" Bought a manor three hours ago. We're on our ways there. " I sighed.

" An English manor? My goddaughter is already richer than me. How much money did you make working for your dickhead father? " she joked lightening the mood.

Rudy and I talked the whole way to my new place. She was patient and very supportive of me, after she threw a whole fit of me entering motherhood and leaving her alone in hoehood . Hearing familiar made feel a whole lot better and for a bit I forgot all about my fallen love with Nicholas.

Moving alone into the house with five bedrooms while being pregnant was a fucking nightmare but I managed because I wanted the best for my little one. The minor was victorian style built in all white in the far end of the village. There was a big pool outside and a whole farmland at the back of the house.

I stood on porch watching the movers moved our new furnitures inside with mixed feelings. I had just bought a whole bloody family house with a fucking farm and a full on ranch to go with it. Never in my life I would have imagined myself as a mother. But here I was and I swore to do my best for this growing child in my womb.

Missing him was the hardest thing I had to deal with everyday. No matter what I did to distract myself from the thought of having him next to me, there was not a single moment when I didn't think of him.

I couldn't help but imagined what would it have been like to have him here with us. This was supposed to be an experience we shared together but here I was enjoying every moments with my little one, all alone.

" He made it clear he wants nothing to do with us. " I murmured to myself as I rubbed my bump.

The little bun in my oven was the only thing that kept me going everyday because I knew I wasn't going to fail my child. I needed to be strong for the both of us.

Being pregnant was magical and I loved every single bits of it except the morning sickness part, the horrible cravings, the restless nights, mood swings, and the fact that I was getting fat.

There were happy days and there were hard days where I doubted myself scared to death that I would be a horrible mother. I cried my heart out wishing to him to just appear and hold me telling me it was going to be okay that I would be able to manage just fine when I was exhausted and couldn't take it anymore.

I missed him and at the same I wanted nothing other than to punch him in his fucking face then tore him limp by limp for not being here after putting me in this situation.

But then again I had no one to blame rather myself. I made him leave. I understood him because I had caused him nothing but pain and betrayal.

Grandma Lou helped guiding me through the whole process every chances she got, we talked on phone for hours about the little one and I was so grateful. We were all excited for her and I couldn't help but felt rather emotional that my child was already so loved before she or he was even born.

All pains and annoyance were worth it every time I heard my doctor claimed that I was having a really healthy pregnancy. All worries and sadness suddenly faded like it all never happened the moment I got to hear the heartbeats for the first time. And, when I felt the first kick on my palm all tiredness went away like it was never even there.

Seven months passed by in a blink of an eye. I finally completed the moving and settled into the fully decorated house with the most adorable nursery ever waiting for the arrival. Nana Lou and Rudy were coming to help me with my labour, both excited to finally see the house for the first time and met our new little addition of the family.

My bump was bigger than ever and I thought I would never said this I was so going to miss my bump no matter how many times it got on my nerves or annoyed the hell out of me.

" Just a few more days until we finally get to meet. " I smiled rubbing my bump in awed.

And on the twenty third of September, my own little Salvatore baby came into the world healthy and strong, capturing my whole heart taking over the center of my universe.

➺ ✿ ➻

😭