" Hand me the fucking bottle, Ru or I swear to god I will slit everyone's throats in here. " I hissed trying to snatch the vodka from her hand.

It was her idea to go clubbing in the first and now she acted all saint and innocent stopping me from drinking my sorrow away. What the fuck was she expecting me to do in a fucking club beside drinking.

" Sure. Go ahead you have my full support. I hate these people anyways. " Rudy said as her eyes scanned the crowded nightclub.

" God, I hate this whole damn town. " she muttered scrunching up her face before taking a gulp out of my bottle.

Feeling defeated by her stubbornness I let her have that bottle and ordered another one. She rolled her eyes at me in annoyance and I prayed it stuck at the back of her head.

The feeling out the warm silky liquid at the back of throat was hitting different especially when I missed him. God, I missed him.

" You need to get your shits together. You spent the last week sulking in your room. Since when does Anastasia Rayne sulked over a bloody guy. " Rudy shook her head as she watched me drank my life away.

" Since him. You don't understand. Nick, he's different. "

" Beside that he's a god in bed and has the body of a Calvin Klein model, I still don't know the guy who managed to tame the hoe inside you. Wait, did you quit one night stands because of him? " she asked putting the bottle down before starting to roll herself a joint.

" When was the last time you get laid? " she asked.

When he fucked my brain out on every surfaces in his room until all I could remember was his name.

Fuck even the thought of his name got me wet down there and he wasn't even here. I clenched my thighs together as my thought trailed into the unholy sins we did and before I knew it all I felt was him inside of me.

" I can't explain what I see in him. It's just the way he made me feel and his touch alone take me to a place where no one else can. "

" Anastasia, you're in love. " Rudy squealed in excitement and I almost choked on my drinks.

I couldn't be, could I? All he ever did was tortured the shit out of me and fucked me senseless.

So I drank one shot, then four, and when I saw the world starting to get blurry I took a gulp straight out of the bottle. Nothing changed. I could never forget the moments we had together and that was enough. I was falling for him. I liked Nick. Fuck.

" We both know he will kill me the moment he found out I am my father's daughter. I lied to him and everyone else straight in their faces. He will never forgive me. " I stated facts lowly under my breath.

Rudy wrapped her arm around my shoulders pulling into a side way hug and I sighed heavily before giving her a small smile silently assured her that I was fine.

I wasn't fine. I saw this coming. I knew me leaving was needed. But, it still hurt.

" Then why drown yourself in alcohol when you know for the fact that leaving him was great for the two of you's. " Rudy smiled at me sadly.

" Because vodka was easier to swallow than the fact that I will never be in his arms again. " I sighed under my breath.

" Bitch, you left the poor guy. " she scoffed putting the joint between her lips all while rolling her eyes at me.

" I didn't have a choice. " I sobbed and her eyes softened immediately.

" Oh, baby. What is meant to be will always be. What is meant to be yours is already making its way to you. I believe in fate and that you and him are perfect together. " she said rubbing small circles on my back comfortingly and I just let her hold me silently because I needed it.

The sad truth was, we were never meant to be, him and I. Fate was by far the greatest cruelty of all.

I saw his faces on everybody's. His kisses and touches lingered on my skin liked he never left, liked I never left him.

I missed him everyday and every passing seconds. I never stopped. I couldn't and I didn't want to. He never left my head or thought. He haunted me. And, here I was laying on my bed at three in the morning after a wild night out and my mind still hadn't moved from him no matter how much alcohol I put in my system.

These last days I had spent with my grandmother and friend, I thought I was going to be just fine. I thought I would be happy to be with my true family. But, this place wasn't home. I felt out of place liked I wasn't belong here, in my grandmother's peaceful land, not when my heart was somewhere else.

" My sweet child, I think we need to talk. You can't keep staying like this. " I heard a knock on my bedroom's door before my grandmother entered the room with a small smile on her face.

" So, who's the boy? " grandma Lou asked as she took a seat on my bed.

My body shot up from the thick cover and I leaned my back against the headboard staring at her in disbelief. Was I being that obvious?

By the amount of alcohol I was drinking for the past nights, absolutely fucking obvious, yes.

" Nana Lou, it's three in the morning. Why are you still awake? "

" My granddaughter is having boy problem for the first time in her life? What the hell is sleep? " she squealed making me chuckled shaking my head.

" Nicholas Salvatore, the heir to the Salvatore's clan. I was supposed to kill him but I ended up in his arms. " I mumbled throwing my head back.

" Ah. A young forbidden love how exciting. "

Exciting it was. No English vocabulary could explain the rush of excitement I felt running through my vein every time I got lost in him. It was fun when we were pointlessly flirting and just lived the moments until reality came crashing on me.

" You love him, don't you? " she asked and the world corrupted beneath my feet.

I knew I wasn't capable of love. But, I cared deeply for him. I enjoyed being with him. I adored the moments we shared. I would do anything for him, I had killed for him and I would do it over and over again if it meant he could just live. Most of all, I would die for him.

" I adore him. Nana, I betrayed my father for him. " I answered truthfully and she shook her head smiling softly at me.

" Then, why are you still here, child? Why stay here with little old me when your heart is else where. Go back to him, sweetheart. " grandma said caressing my cheeks.

" Father would be furious if he knew I'm with him. And, he would do anything to destroy me, you and his family. The Salvatore's has all the protection in the world to protect themselves but you, grandma I wouldn't put your life at risk like that not when I spent all my life trying to protect you from him. "

" Even if I go back to him, I never want to look at Nick in the eyes and lie to him about whoever I am again. He doesn't deserve that. "

" We will never be good together no matter I try to fight it. I don't want to lie him and yet I can't even tell him the truth because I knew I would be as good as death. Life has never been nice to me. " I smiled sadly grateful for the amount of alcohol in my system right now.

God knew how much I needed it to have this certain heartbreaking and soul shattering conversation I had been avoiding.

" You granted me the most peaceful life and it was wonderful. But, it isn't your job to protect me Anastasia. It was supposed to be the other way round. And, I had lived. You haven't. You spent half of your life devoting to your father fighting for his affection and the other half protecting me. "

" Don't you think it's finally your turn to live your life? For once, just live. "

" If he feels the same way about you, I'm sure he will have it in his heart to forgive you. He would know that you were never just your father's daughter. You're you, and Anastasia Rayne is one hell of a woman. He's lucky to have you. "

That was all the push I needed to take the next flight to England. Let's hope he wasn't that pissed off.

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