I have been avoiding Josh for awhile, I've actually gotten pretty good at it but he's catching on its getting harder to come up with lies so I don't have to talk to him about what happened.

I'm not sure how I feel about the kiss, do I want us to be a couple? Or was it just in the moment we were both sad and drunk kiss? I mean he told me that he would never have feeling for me in that way. So he couldn't like me in that way and if he does like me is it because I lost the weight and started actually caring about my appearance? So I'm just going to keep hiding from him till I figure out what I want.

"Are you okay?" Vanessa asks me

"Yeah" I say as I lay on my bed

"Are you sure because you've sighed like five time" she says from the desk chair

"Me and josh kissed" I finally tell someone

"Woah. why aren't you happy?" She asks confused and comes sits beside me on the bed

"Because I don't know if I like him in that way anymore"

"Maybe your just scared because you already opened yourself up to him once and he turned you down" she says softly

"Okay therapist" I mumble

"It's just I've seen the way you look at him and how he looks at you"

"It's just we finally became friends and now it's going to be ruined because of one kiss" I sigh

"Josh is a good guy he wouldn't stop being friends with you"

I start thinking about my past when I did open myself up to him and finally told him how I felt only for him to rip my heart out "he choose Tiffany over me"

"Maybe you guys aren't meant to be anything more" is all she says

"What about you?" I ask changing the subject

"What about me?" She asks nervously

"Is there anyone special in your life?"

"Uh n-no" she looks away

"Tell me" I smirk

"It's nothing really it's just this guy I've been tutoring"

I squeal "tell me about him?" I sit up

"Well he's really sweet he's not like will or Caleb or even Josh he more in the nerdery side"

I realize who she's talking about "is it that guy I saw you at the library with that one time"

She nods

He's actually not bad looking he wears huge glasses and rocks sweater vest but they would make a cute couple .

"I thought about asking him to prom" she mumbles

"You should" I encourage her

"What if he says no" she sighs sadly

"Then you'll know and can move on"

"Okay I'll ask him" she smiles "thanks Elena"