*Unedited*

*Incompleted*

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The next day, Zack trudged into our second period class.

Late.

He had dark circles under his eyes and looked like, well... Hell. The teacher gave him a dirty look as he slipped into the only seat left which was to my right. He didn't really seem to mind the teachers glare though. He caught my eyes and didn't look very happy at all.

"What?" he snapped making my eyes go wide.

"N-nothing, sorry." I muttered and looked down to my lap. I could see him shake his head before leaning back in his chair. I did my best to keep my eyes up front the entire class, trying to ignore his angry presence right next to me.

Once the bell rang, I looked over to him as he shoved his book back into his bag. He glared over to me as he saw me looking again.

"What do you want." He snapped. Instead of looking away again like I wanted to, I looked at him a second longer.

"A-are you okay?" I asked immediately regretted it as he looked angrier.

"No, I'm not okay, I'm not okay with you staring at me like a creep all the time. I'm not okay with you stealing my friends and hanging around all the time. I'm not okay with your dumb friend who you've tried to 'add' to the group. I'm not okay with you." He spat before turning away and stomping out of the classroom.

I stood there in shock processing what he had just said for a second before tears sprung to my eyes. I fought my way out of the class and busted into the girl's bathroom. Nobody was in there, so I made my way over to the counter.

I looked at my reflection to see glassy eyes and a slightly red nose. I felt and saw a tear slip down my cheek and I quickly wiped it away. I fanned my eyes trying not to cry. When had I every cried over a guy? Cried over somebody simply snapping at me? When did I get so weak? I looked into the mirror one last time and turned to walk out the door, but 3 girls busted in giggling. I'm sure you can guess which three.

"Oh look, the little pig is crying. Did Zack finally get rid of you like I'm sure he's been waiting to do this entire time?" Sarah taunted.

"Leave me alone, I need to get to class." Is all I said before walking forward further.

"It was bound to happen, don't cry about it. If you're going to cry about something, cry about how pathetic you were to think he actually liked you." She scoffed.

I pushed past her not saying another word and busted out the bathroom door, more tears threatening to escape. I hiked my bag up on my shoulder further as I still heard them giggling and taunting me.

"Always running." Was the last thing I heard before I rounded the corner and made my way over to my locker.

The bell had rung a few minutes ago but I didn't care. I grabbed out all the homework I had and shoved it into my back pack, not caring if it got crushed of not. I swung my bag back onto my shoulder before speed walking over to the doors that led outside. I just couldn't go through the rest of the day pretending everything was okay. I just couldn't keep seeing everybody that I knew in all my classes.

I ducked out the doors and started my 10-15 minute walk home. It was peaceful out here, all the teenagers were in school, adults at work or in their homes enjoying their day off. Nobody was out except me.

When I got home, I unlocked the door and stomped up the stairs. I threw my bag onto my bed and walked into my bathroom. I pulled my phone out of my jean pocket as I heard it ding.

New text from 'Mom'

I sighed and opened it. My throat just tightened more as I read her little 'update'. One word stuck out to me as I read it over and over again. Worthless. I looked up to my mirror and that's all it took for the waterworks to start again. One tear slipped out. Then two... three. They started coming so fast that I couldn't count as I slid down the wall and cried.

My chest tightened making it difficult to breathe. I felt pangs in my chest as I kept thinking about everything.

Worthless.

I'm not okay with you.

Pathetic.

Words bounced around so fast that my head throbbed as I clutched my chest trying to breathe. I scratched at my leg through my jeans getting annoyed that I couldn't feel skin. It was an old habit that I had developed and couldn't really stop when I was having an anxiety attack. I gripped my head with both of my hands, drawing a bit of blood as my nails punctured my skin. I was sure I had scars there from cutting it open so many times. I rocked back and forth trying to breathe and calm down.

Worthless.

Piggy.

"Stop" I whispered to myself over and over again.

"Make it stop."

Eventually, it did. My breathing slowed and my tears ran out. I opened my eyes and brought my hands down from my head. They were shaking as I put them in my lap, staring blankly at my bloodied finger tips.

I don't know how long I sat there for, all I know is my text tone brought me out of my trance like state. I hesitantly picked it up and looked at the screen.

One new text from 'Eric'

My shaky thumb slid over the screen and tapped on the message, leaving a small spot of blood in its place.

'Are you okay? Didn't see you in class today.'

I just clicked off my phone and stood up shakily, a twinge of pain in my back from sitting there for so long. I just stripped out of my clothes and turned on the shower. I stepped into the freezing water, not waiting for it to warm up and just stayed there staring blankly ahead. My brain wasn't working, and I was on auto piolet as I washed my hair, not even cringing from the stinging sensation that I felt from the cuts hidden by my hair.

I stepped out of the shower, still just staring at nothing in particular. 

Slipping on a tank top and pair of shorts, I slid into my bed, not caring that it was still bright out and shut my eyes. It took me a while to fall asleep even though not a single thought was going through my mind.

Eventually I drifted off, although I wish I hadn't.

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Oh noes, down it goes.

XoXo

~awkwardpenguin3