Chapter 24

Marissa’s POV

There was no lights on in the house when I walked in so I went straight up the stairs, hoping to end the night off with a good night sleep, although I don’t know if I would be able to get my mind of Alex and our amazing date.

I quietly opened my door and turned on the light after shutting it. I turned around to face my bed and almost screamed, but I managed to keep my mouth shut at the expense of all the sleeping people in the house. Zane was lying down on my bed facing the wall, the slow rise and fall of his chest made me sure he was asleep. But why here? He was wearing a simple pair of sweat pants but no shirt.

I tip toed over to him and tapped him on the shoulder; I didn’t really know what to do since I was practically confused as to why he was laying on my bed in the first place. He looked so peaceful in his sleep that I almost didn’t want to wake him up.

He jumped a little and groaned but didn’t wake up, this time I wasn’t being gentle, I slapped him right on the back making him flip over in surprise. when he came face to face with me his surprise grew even more.

“What are you doing?” I questioned first. “Uh” he looked around, as if he would find an explanation in the room but when he turned back to my accusing eyes he had nothing to say. “Why don’t you just tell me the truth for once Zane?” I said. he was sitting up on the bed while I was standing and looking down at him.

“Well I just missed you and it kind of hurt that you were on a date with another guy, so this was the closest I could get” he mumbled. My eyes widened at his confession, he actually missed me? but anger set in as my brain registered the part that he was hurt about me being on a date with another guy. “Really you were hurt because I went out with someone else? What am I supposed to do Zane, live my life lonely because you don’t want me nor do you want me seeing anyone else? If you don’t want me Zane then I will find someone who does. And I have” I finished; I watched his emotions change on his face from shock to anger to sadness to regret.

Regret for what, well I don’t know. “Well it still hurts to see my mate out there happier with some other guy” he spat the last part out again and his emotions changed to anger again. “Really Zane? Because last time I checked you were the one who rejected me and you were the one who was going out with other girls while I stayed here and tried to forget about it. Not to mention Cassidy your girlfriend or whatever she is” I threw back in his face. I had to watch him with Cassidy over and over again and I really feel like punching that girl in the face. But I have no right too because Zane is not mine and I am not his.

“Cassidy Is not my girlfriend, when will you learn to stop being so jealous of girls that simply hang around me, is that how much you want me Marissa? And I know I rejected you! We both know it so why do you stop reminding me!” he screamed in my face. At this point I'm glad my room was sound proof, we were close to a screaming match.

But I was fuelled with anger right now. “Why do you even care Zane? Why do you care about what I do because it’s not like you want me or anything” I said more softly this time. I looked down at the ground, I didn’t feel like seeing the hatred in his eyes. I didn’t feel like seeing the look on his face right now.

“I think you should just leave Zane, we both need to sleep” I looked up at him but focused my eyes on his forehead. He reluctantly nodded and walked towards the door. When he opened it he looked back at me with a sad look as if he expected me to say anything. I simply looked at him with a blank face, I was all out of words at this point.

He turned back and left, closing the door shut behind him. I feel backwards onto my bed and sighed, of course Zane just has to appear whenever I think I have something figured out and confuse me again. He said he cares and now he’s jealous of Alex but he still rejected me, but which one do I like now, Zane or Alex?

Zane’s POV

I walked out of her room and sighed, that was not how I wanted things to go. I don’t know what it Is that is making me care so much about her, the bond is simply something that attracts you to the right person so you can fall in love with them, but it does not make you love them just because of some tingles and stuff. It’s the person’s personality that you grow attached too, the way they love you, the way they fight with you. And I think I might be falling for Marissa.

She’s so strong to keep going after all this, she stands her grounds and she’s so beautiful. i don’t want to fall for her but I just can’t help it. I walked into my room and switched the lights on, there sat on my bed Derek. I jumped in surprise; he was definitely not here when I left.

“Uh what’s up man?” I asked confused. “Well let’s see, the sudden fact that you and my sister have something between you guys. What is it Zane? I know there’s something, the way she’s always mad at you, the way your always nice to her, or the way you will both avoid each other. What’s with it all?” he asked almost with a angry tone.

I guess I was stupid to think he wouldn’t notice anything between me and Marissa while we always around him. “Derek I didn’t –

“No I want to know what’s between you guys” he said through clenched teeth. “Fine I guess you have a right to know” I sighed, I hope he wouldn’t hate me for this. “Me and your sister are mates but I didn’t accept her” I blurted out, I expected him to lunge at me and punch me in the face. But instead he stayed glued to his spot and stared at me.

“Why would you do that Zane? Wait don’t answer that question because I don’t want to hear it, all I have to say is your one of the stupidest men alive for rejecting the one person who was made to love you, some people don’t even get that opportunity and here you are throwing it away. Sooner or later your going to realise what you’ve done” Derek shook his head at me and walked out of my room.

I don’t know what to say to that because I guess it’s true. I did solemnly reject the one person who was meant to be mine and I do feel regret, I feel a little more every day.

I laid down in bed and closed my eyes, sleep was the only escape I had from this all, it was the only place that I didn’t have Marissa on my mind.

Marissa’s POV

I slowly opened my eyes to the sunlight shining in on it. a frown immediately pressed itself onto my face, it was my birthday. The only thing I had to be happy about this was that I got to spend it with Alex, but I never did expect much for this. Sure the presents were great from my mom but I never had anyone to share to excitement with. I rolled out of bed and di my usual morning routine.

I showered and picked out something nice to wear, which ended up being a simple pair of jeans and a teal wool sweater. My black hair was as usual flowing down my back, a little wavy from my shower this time. I put a little bit of makeup on seeing as how I should at least try and look good today.

I then looked at my phone for the first time this morning. I had one new message and the only people who knew my birthday was today were Kyle and Alex. I didn’t even tell Sean because I didn’t really talk about that stuff with him, oh and Derek must know. He always did, he always mumbled a little happy birthday but never got me anything. And Zane, well Zane doesn’t know anything about me and I didn’t tell him anything.

I opened the message, expecting it to be from Alex, Kyle or Sean but I saw Zane’s name there instead. I don’t even remember adding his number to my phone, but here it was.

‘Good morning Marissa, I wanted to be the first to say happy eighteenth birthday! I got you something and I really hope you like it, but for now all I'm going to say is have a good day’

The message was surprisingly sweet, it was only like eight-o-clock so I didn’t even expect anyone to be awake. I was an early riser and not much people woke up this early on a Saturday. I have to admit seeing that did put a little smile on my face though. I walked down the stairs thinking of what I could possibly eat.

I would get my mom to make me some pancakes but she was sleeping and I didn’t know how. Chocolate chip pancakes were always my favourite breakfast food but I never ate it because I never had time to make it or get anyone to make them for me. when I walked in the kitchen, I smelled the most delicious thing but saw the weirdest.

Zane was standing there over the stove in a pair of sweat pants and a white shirt, cooking pancakes on the stove. It was the oddest sight too see, but when he heard me come in he turned towards me and automatically a smile lit his face, as if he remembered nothing of last night.

Right now I don’t think I had it in me to be mad at him seeing as he sent me the text this morning and here he was smiling at me. “I made you chocolate chip pancakes” was the first thing he said, that made me smile. “How did you know I liked pancakes?” I asked confused as I sat down at the table while still looking at him.

“Your mom used to always make you them when we were little and they were your favourite. I did pay attention and I do know you” he said the last part amused; I actually thought he knew nothing about me, well I now know how wrong I was.

“Oh well thanks’ I shot him a smile as he pushed a stack of them in front of me. He then got his own plate and sat across from me. I put a piece in my mouth and moaned at the taste of it, it was absolutely delicious. “These are great” I mumbled while stuffing more into my mouth.

“Thank” he replied. He just kept looking at me and I found it kind of weird how he stared at me while I was eating. “And happy birthday by the way” he said when I met his eyes. he was looking at me for a good minute or so before I looked up at him. “Thanks” I said simply.

“I was wondering if you wanted to go out a little today, I wanted you too have some fun” nervousness was clear in his voice and it was funny to hear he was actually nervous at asking me something. I would have said yes but I remembered that Alex was coming around twelve. “I would but Alex is picking me up at twelve, sorry” I felt bad for shoving Alex in his face again, he was being so nice this morning that last night didn’t even matter anymore.

We had our moments when all of our raw emotions came out to each other, and they were ugly. “Well what time are you coming back?” he asked making me cock an eyebrow at him, he look determined and I wasn’t going to be the one to shoot him down.

“Well I should be home by three I guess, I don’t want to be home that late since I still have to spend time with my mom and stuff” I said. my mom always made a special effort to come home for my birthdays so the least I could do was spend some time with her. My birthday was like the day people thought they had to be nice to me and stuff, although Zane and Alex and all my friends were a add in this year. Usually it was me and my mom for the day and then she threw a party but I told her I didn’t want a party this year so I'm hoping she is going to respect my wishes and not throw one.

“Well can I take you out around seven then? I’ll bring you back before ten so you can still have time to spend with your family and stuff” his voice was almost pleading me to say yes, it was like I felt bad to say no to him. I had nothing to lose so why not? “Sure” I smiled softly at him and watched a full grin spread across his face.

“Ok well dress warm and casual then” he said with excitement clear in his voice. “Sure” I said with a little bit of uncertainty. I never did expect much for my birthdays so it was hard for me to be let down. Just as we finished eating Derek walked in the kitchen and took one look at us. he stopped in his tracks and stared at Zane for a long time before shaking his head and turning his attention towards me.

“Happy birthday sis” he said coming over and giving me a hug. “Thanks” as we pulled away I took in his look, scruffy hair, pajama pants and it looked like he threw on last night’s shirt. Clearly he had just woken up.

“I got you something, I’ll give it to you now if you want” he suggested and I shrugged but nodded. “Ok just come up too my room it’s in there” I shot a ‘thank you’ smile at Zane before following my brother out of the kitchen.

Zane’s POV

I watched her walk out of the room behind her brother but there was still a smile on my face, I got her to say yes to going out with me tonight despite what I did last night. I was going to make this one of the best birthdays she ever had.

I know eighteen was the birthday your most likely to find your mate on and I kind of ruined that for her, but I'm glad we can at least have the kind of relationship we do have, that way I can still be close to her and talk to her without her expecting me to change my mind, Marissa was something special and I know I'm starting to have feeling for her, I just don’t know what too do with them.

I'm starting to second guess myself, was I wrong to reject her in the first place? was I wrong about her not being a good leader? She’s so strong and confident, nothing can break her down. she’s beautiful and smart and I keep finding myself staring at her now. I think I might be falling in love with her, but can I let myself do that? Am I doing the right thing for the pack by falling for her?

You know what I think I am. We are meant to be mates and the way I see her now I know that I want her too be mine. I can’t stand seeing her with Alex, and she’s such a strong person that she’s perfect for me. I guess Derek and Kyle were right, I would find myself regretting my decision. And this time I know what I want, and I want Marissa. I’ve made my decision and I was stupid to reject her, but now how do I make this up to her?

I wouldn’t just come out to her and admit my feelings, that would make me feel so vulnerable but I know she Is the only one I want now. I guess it’s been coming for a while but I finally see it, I love her and I can’t let her go. But the problem is I might have waited a bit long to figure this all out.

She went out on a date with Alex last night and I know she kissed him, I could feel the swirl of emotions inside her and it killed me knowing that he got her first kiss and it wasn’t me. when I woke up this morning and I saw her then I knew my heart was set. That was it, she was the best one to lead beside me, she was all I needed but everything I needed.

Now I just need a way to tell her that with her believing me, I’ve hurt her so much that I'm afraid to tell her. I don’t want to get rejected and have my heart broken- that was exactly what I did too her. a flashback of the day when she told me she could be everything I needed and I denied it, I left her in that classroom a broken shell.

I did the one thing no mate should ever do, I broke her heart. I stomped all over it and left her to deal with it alone, and just when she’s getting over it I find out my true feelings, and this time they’re stronger than ever.

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next upload- Saturday or Monday