Chapter 18

Zane’s POV

I guess you could say I'm not having much luck right now. in a couple minutes I would have detention with Marissa, I still don’t even know what possessed her to act like that. It wasn’t like her at all, she was respectful and nice. She cared about school and she had one of the highest grade averages. The Marissa in there was not my Marissa.

I never meant to hurt Marissa, I didn’t want to me mean that’s why when I found out we were mates I tried to do it nicely. Because I don’t hate her, I don’t think she’s ugly or a waste of space. She’s worth everything she’s got but I just can’t have her as a mate to lead beside me.

But the wolf inside me is starting to get restless, some part of me knows that I want Marissa even if I'm not ready to admit it. the times I went out on dates with other girls and stuff was mainly because of her, I couldn’t get her off my mind and I was scared. I never did plan on sleeping with them because honestly I don’t think I could go through with it.

I just feel like I'm caving in, and here I am trying to get her not to hate me now. I am sorry for the pain I caused her but not for denying her, I told her my reasons and I don’t want her to feel like she’s not wanted. I’ve heard stories of rejected mates and some of them did not end well, while others ended fine but the beginning was worse. Some of them hated their mates and couldn’t stand the thought of being with them but regrets that after their mate is gone.

Well I'm not like that. I care about my mate I just can’t be with her and if she would just understand that then this would be a lot easier for the both of us. I wouldn’t have to constantly feel guilty and she wouldn’t have to be in pain all the time. But then again she did meet stupid Alex that she’s going out with Friday night.

While lost in my thoughts I walked in Mr. Faye’s room. there was a couple people in there, the school’s trouble kids, some people that were in a bad mood when the teacher decided to pick on them and then there’s Marissa. In total there was seven kids in here and Marissa managed to distance herself from all of them. she was sitting in the back coroner of the classroom while everyone else was sitting with people they knew and tried to get in as much talking and plans they could before the teacher got here.

I noticed Marissa just had a determined look on her face but a tired look in her eyes. she was tired of the bull shit, no question about that.

Marissa’s POV

I watched as Zane walked over to be and took a seat beside me. I guess I knew that he would try and sit beside me. he’s been trying hard lately to get me to forgive him for his little slip ups. But I don’t know if I'm ready, I know I will because they’re little things that I already knew. I brought it upon myself, he just said it.

I need to get over these petty problems and maybe if I just forgive him he’ll leave me alone and be in peace that I don’t hate him. because I don’t, he never did anything to make me hate him other than denying me, but I guess he did that as nicely as he could. I don’t exactly like him but I don’t hate it. you see this is why I hate thinking about me and him, it always gets complicated.

The teacher walked in the room, saving me from being eaten alive from my own thoughts. I noticed it wasn’t Mr. Faye. It was some older lady and she didn’t look to mean.

“Ok kids Mr. Faye can’t be here right now so I'm going to be filling in. you all know the rules, no talking, no getting up. You stay seated quietly and wait for the time to be up.” We all nodded and she took a seat on the desk.

Behind her glasses I noticed how her eyes were stating to droop closed. She was tired and with all the silence she would surely fall asleep any minute now. and I'm not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. I wasn’t ready to face Zane yet and I know he would talk to be if he had the chance too.

And fifteen minutes later you could hear the old lady snoring, everyone immediately started moving around and talking to their friends. I groaned internally just waiting for Zane to make his move.

“Marissa” he said slowly dragging out the word. “Yes” I said dragging out the s. I said it pleasantly though, making a surprised expression appear on his face. “wanna go get some lunch after this, I think we need to talk” he suggested with hope clear in his tone.

“Sure and yea we do need to talk” a sad smile appeared on his face as he knew what I was talking about. “You know I never meant to hurt you” he whispered out softly. “I know Zane, I know” I looked away from him because I couldn’t bear looking in his eyes. I know the amount of emotion in there would cause me to break the wall I’ve been building.

He has so much control over my emotions and I don’t like it. I don’t like how much he can affect me. “Do you hate me?” the way he said it was like he was like begging me too say no.

“I don’t hate you Zane and I don’t think I could if I wanted too” I said back with a sad smile. he looked me in the eyes and I know he could see right through me and it scared me. he could see everything I was feeling whether I liked it or not.

None of us said anything after that and that’s how it stayed for the last forty-five minutes. I stared up ahead, aware of him staring at me. and I didn’t look back at him I was to busy thinking about what was going to go down after this.

I said yes to lunch with him because I needed to face it and we both needed to get this problem over with because It was eating us both alive. When the bell rand I slowly got out of my seat and grabbed y bag from beside the desk.

I dragged me feet along the cold white tiles as I walked out of the class room. I walked out with my head held high, I was determined to keep my resolve.

I waited outside for him to come out of the classroom and he came out after a couple more of the students. He tried to smile politely but both of us knew it meant nothing. I followed him as we walked towards his car. I was thinking a lot about this morning today.

And I came to the conclusion that I was over reacting over the situation. We were just both caught up in the moment and I was still mad at him so I got a ride with John. I was so out of it after that because I let it affect me more than I should have.

What I should have done was go on with my day as if nothing happened. But instead I chose to think and think about it till I practically drove me insane.

I got into his car and we drove in silence, when we arrived at the place I was relived, it was food that was greasy, good, and comforting. McDonalds. A smile lit my face as we got out of his car, I loved this place even if it’s known for making people fat.

I skipped happily inside without waiting for Zane. I inhaled the smell of all the wonderful deep fried food as soon as I went in. there wasn’t too much people here, just a couple of people sitting and eating in the booths and tables.

Zane came in after me and laughed, I guess it was kind of amusing seeing a teenage girl happy at the thought of McDonalds. “What did you want?” he asked as we got in line. “I'm thinking a six piece nugget meal with a apple pie” I said while looking at the menu, I got that every time I came here. “Right, I forgot you always order that” he said with amusement clear in his voice.

When I used to come here as a kid it was with my parents and brother and my brother always brought Zane but I didn’t think he used to ever pay attention to me, guess I was wrong.

Zane ordered out food and when we got it we picked a booth by the window. This food was major comfort food. I sat down and happily munched on my fries while waiting for him to start up the conversation that we both needed to happen.

“So?” he dragged out while taking a bit of his burger. “Just get to the point” I waved his small talk off. A smile was still on my face, he definitely chose the right place to talk about this because hardly anything could get rid of my happy mood right now. “Ok then, can you forgive me? I know I have kind of been hard on you lately and I'm sorry for saying some stuff I didn’t mean, you know what I'm talking about” I simply nodded. I think it was time that I got over him saying he didn’t love me. I guess in the back of my mind I already knew that, we weren’t together and I was just his best friends little sister. And as for the him telling me we couldn’t be mates again, well I already knew that the first time he denied me, I had no right to get all mad again because I already knew.

“It’s ok we both just need to get pass it and like you said we should just be on proper terms” he looked surprised at my reaction. He was probably expecting me to flip out on him or something. “Oh well that was easy” he mumbled making me laugh. “Yea I over reacted and you shouldn’t be taking the fall for it all” I admitted, it was un fair to put all the blame on him when I started some of it. “Wow ok then, so we’re all good?” he looked like he was expecting for me to explode at any second and it was kind of funny.

“Yea Zane we’re all good, don’t worry about it” I laughed and stuffed more food in my mouth, this was some flipping amazing food.

“So can we hang out like normal friends and stuff?” his voice was pleading but I didn’t know. I was hoping forgiving him was going to get him out of my hair but it seemed to only get me in deeper. I didn’t want to be rude but it was hard enough being around him and knowing he was supposed to be mine but he’s not. no matter how much I say I’m over the rejection, it’s still going to sting.

“Yea I guess” I said a little unsure, he didn’t exactly ask me to hang out so that’s the good part. “Great why don’t we hang out Friday night or something?” he asked happily. He was way too happy about all this. All I said was that we were on good enough terms, we’re not best friends.

“Uh I have to go out with Alex that night” I couldn’t keep the excitement out of my voice while mentioning that. I really wanted to get to know Alex and on the double hit I got out of hanging out with Zane, BAM!

“Well how about tomorrow then? I know you have training Wednesday and stuff” his voice held less emotion this time, I shouldn’t have mentioned Alex like that. He tried to make it look like it didn’t affect him but I noticed. i instantly felt bad for him, I know seeing him with other girls made me sick, he hasn’t hung around them lately and for that I'm glad, but still I wouldn’t shove my new interest in his face.

“Yea sure tomorrow sounds good” I said with a polite smile, I felt kind of bad for mentioning Alex so I agreed. I don’t know why he has such a sudden interest in me though.

Zane’s POV

When we got home she was still smiling and I managed not to make her mad, I managed to get her to smile which put a smile on my face. She went upstairs to take care of some business and I couldn’t help but sigh in relief.

I'm actually really glad Marissa is my mate, because If I had someone else they wouldn’t have been so forgiving and they might have ran away or something, it could have turned out a lot worse. But that’s not the only reason why. if Marissa wasn’t my mate I probably would have never gotten to know how amazing she really is. She has a great personality and is so strong. She takes everything and makes it ok. I'm starting to want her, I'm getting torn with me feelings and its scaring me.

What do I do? I let her go for a reason but I'm just becoming more and more attached to her. I hate the thought of her and Alex going out Friday and I pretty much made her hang out with me tomorrow. Speaking of tomorrow I have to make sure I do something great with her. I love seeing her smile, it makes me feel proud that I can do more than make her mad and in a bad mood.

“Hey Zane wanna double date tomorrow?” one of my pack member Ray said snapping me out of my thoughts. We were friends but I didn’t know him all that well. “Sorry dude I go plans maybe another time.” My voice was happy though, because my other plans were Marissa and I would ditch just about anything to be able to hang out with her. I don’t know what’s gotten into me but I feel so good right now.

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this chapter mostly explained feelings, and they made up! comment and vote please!