My heart is beating in my chest so fast that I start to feel dizzy. I rest my back up against the lockers, giving my armpits a rest from these stupid crutches.

I'm going to be fine.

It's just one, stupid test.

That's it.

A test that determines my whole future.

Well, maybe not this one, but it's a pre-test to determine my future.

What's the worst that could happen? I get a terrible score? I'll just study my ass off for the actual SATs. It'll be fine.

If I bomb that then I'll just never go to college. I'll live at home with my parents and become a cat lady.

That won't be so bad. Right?

Oh my god.

I need to relax.

It's the first day back from our weekend away, and Cam offered to drive me. The test was early, but it meant a lot that he cared. He even helped me study on the car ride home from the Grand Canyon since Ethan still hadn't spoken to him.

I'm not sure if he ever will again.

"Next." A teacher looks at me in sympathy as I struggle to reach her in my crutches. I give her my ID and wait patiently to be given further instructions.

It all happened so quickly, and the next thing I know I'm in a classroom with a bunch of other random kids, a test sitting right in front of me.

I can do this.

It's just one test.

Letting out a deep breath, I flip open to the first page when the timer begins.

_______

After an entire three hours my brain feels fried. When I got to the essay I wasn't even sure I remembered how to read anymore, let alone write.

I thought I'd go in there and ace it. I thought I'd walk out of this room confident, like I had known every question, but instead I'm extremely concerned. That was way harder than I thought it would be. I probably did horrible.

Maya was taking her test in a different room, so I quickly send her a text to see if she's done yet. I'd like to vent with someone about how shitty that was.

Wincing when the crutches dig back into my armpit, I begin to head towards English. It's an extremely far walk since the PSAT's were being held in the senior hallway. It's not until I round the corner that I see Cam and some of the other football players standing by his locker.

I love what he's wearing today, just a simple Nike sweatsuit and a backwards cap to hold down his curls. His lanyard that holds his keys is dangling out of his right pocket, and I don't know why, but it does something to me.

Now that Ethan knows about us, am I allowed to talk to him? Or are we still keeping things under wraps from everyone?

The minute he brings his eyes up to mine I quickly figure out my answer. He gets a huge grin onto his face, quickly excusing himself from the rest of the guys to head over to me.

In front of literally everyone, he kisses me gently on the lips and takes the backpack off of my shoulders. "How was it?" He asks smoothly as if he didn't just kiss me in front of all of the senior class basically. As if we didn't just announce our relationship to everyone.

"Uh..." I laugh, but the test doesn't even seem to matter anymore after that. My lips are tingling from where he kissed, my face probably as red as a tomato. "It was... harder than I thought it was going to be."

"I think..." he kisses me quickly again. "You overthink literally everything, baby. I'm sure you kicked ass."

I nod as everyone continues to stare at us, or at the fact that Cameron is actually showing affection to someone. I literally have no idea how to react in this situation.

Cameron throws my backpack over his own and starts to walk back down the hallway, turning to look at me again. "Come on." He laughs. "You're going to be late for English."

It takes me a few seconds for it to register that he's going to walk me to class, but I hobble over to him on my crutches and send him a grateful smile.

"What's up with you?" He asks. "You're acting weird. Was the test really that bad?"

How is he not seeing everyone staring right now? We're getting continuous looks, and finally, at the end of the hallway we reach the dirtiest look of all.

Sadie Paxton.

Her perfectly manicured nails are clutched tightly around her textbooks, and her eyes are narrowed into the tiniest slits.

"Well I'll be damned." She laughs sarcastically. "I was right it seems."

Cam gets protective over me, and I find it cute when he attempts to make himself taller and steps slightly in front of me.

"Congrats." Cam retorts. "Would you like a trophy? Now get out of the way."

He goes to move in front of her again, but she blocks his path, almost causing me to fall on my crutches. This only makes Cam angrier.

"Get the fuck out of the way, Sadie." He repeats.

"What?" She cocks her head to the side and twirls a piece of black hair around her fingertips. "Scared to be this close? Never used to bother you before."

"Hardly." He smirks as he stares down at her, and there's something challenging in his eyes. Almost like he loves the fact that she's being snarky right now.

"Whatever, Cam." She rolls her eyes and tosses her black hair over her shoulder. "Just don't come asking for it when things between you guys are done. I won't be here."

"I'm sure." He nods, but he's still staring at her in that seductive way. It's making me uncomfortable, so I push my way past them and make the head start to English.

Was he flirting with her?

No... he wasn't.

Was he?

I keep replaying their conversation in my head as Cameron catches up with me, but I can't decide whether or not I have the right to he upset. He didn't say anything bad, but he looked at her like she was a challenge...

I was a challenge, too.

Is that what he likes? If we continue this now that it's not a secret anymore, will he get bored of me?

"Jesus, you walk fast with those things." He chuckles, but for now I decide to shove my feelings aside.

He didn't flirt with her. I'm just overthinking everything. Cam is my boyfriend now, and he basically just announced it to the entire class. I have no reason to be hesitant.

"Keep up then." I tease, sticking my tongue out at him before we walk the rest of the way to English.

_____

Finally, my free period gives me an excuse to do what I've wanted to do for months now. I didn't know how to bring it up, or even how to go about accomplishing it, but after my conversation with Cam at the canyon I finally made my mind up.

I knock gently on the door of coach Carter's office. He's on the phone, but when he sees me he holds a finger up and points to the chair in front of his desk. I sit down and fumble with my fingers on my lap, waiting for him to be finished.

I've fought with myself on whether or not to do this for days now, but this is Cameron's dream. He can't go to college here just so that he can keep me. I don't even know if we'd be able to make it work long distance, but him chasing his dream is more important to me than us at this point. Selfishly, as much as I want him to stay, I can't be that way. I can't hold him back.

Coach finally hangs the phone up and leans back into his chair. "What brings you in, Maddie?"

We've gotten to know each other well since he's so close with my family. He's been Ethan's coach for years, and from different games, to banquets, we've gotten acquainted with each other countless amounts of times. That's partly the reason why I feel comfortable talking to him about this.

I sit up straighter, getting directly to the point. "How good of a player is Cameron?" I ask.

This isn't what coach expected me to ask, but he shrugs and twirls a pen around in his fingertips. "Best I've seen in all of my years of coaching. Why do you ask?"

"Do you think he'd be able to get into a good school for football?"

He laughs immediately, harder than I've ever heard him before. "Maddie, that boy could play at any college he wanted to."

"Even Penn State?" I ask.

Furrowing his eyebrows together in confusion, he sets the pen down onto his desk. "What's this about?"

Letting out a deep breath, I tell him everything. I explain how it was his moms favorite school, and how he told me he didn't think he was good enough to get in. He didn't want to send a highlight reel for the fear of being rejected, but that it's his dream school. One that he could only hope to get into.

Coach listens intently, rubbing his chin as he looks deep in thought. After I'm finished, he takes out a notepad and scribbles some notes down. "I'll see what I can do." He says.

"You'll send them the reel?"

"I'll do what I can."

It's not the answer I was looking for, but I'm not going to fight with him. I thank him for his time and grab my crutches to rise to my feet. "Will you let me know if they reply to it?" I ask.

His eyes linger on mine, and it's almost like he knows how much this is hurting me. I don't necessarily want him to send the reel, but it's in Cam's best interest. I don't want to be the reason he doesn't achieve his dreams. I don't want to be the one to hold him back.

"I'll let you know." Coach replies, and I thank him again before I head back to class.