《You in Real Life》Chapter 20
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I should have expected what would happen the next day at school. I arrived at my locker five minutes before the first bell to find Dakota pressed against it while Blake, one arm stretched up above her head, the other wrapped around her waist, kissed her like her tongue in his mouth was his only source of oxygen.
Lovely. I couldn't muster up any jealousy. After an hour-long tapdancing session with Jack last night, I'd managed to scour the memory of Blake's confused advances from my loop. I was all about Jack now. Screw this IRL version.
Ignoring my annoyance, I cleared my throat. Blake could make out with his Queen of Hell as much as he wanted, but I needed my Communications workbook. "Excuse me, your royal highnesses, I need to get into my locker."
This would be the routine for the next eight months—I was sure of it. Find Blake making out with Dakota, throw up in my mouth a little bit, then ask them to move.
Blake pried himself away from Dakota, shifting to the side. I wished I could decipher shame or regret or at the very least confliction in his expression, but there was none of that. There was none of anything. His cheeks looked carved out and hollow; his eyes empty.
"See you at lunch, Dakota." He walked away without another glance in my direction.
Dakota lifted herself off my locker and opened her own. "You know, Mazie, I can make your life bearable, or I can make you wish you'd never left your old school."
"I already wish that."
She slammed her locker closed. "You know what I mean."
"Not really."
"You went to Silverdale with Blake yesterday."
Crap, he'd told her. "Technically, I went with Shelby. Blake was just the driver. Shelby wanted to--"
"Don't try that with me. I know you're interested in him. He said so."
"He what? Dakota, he's lying to you."
"I can't believe how naïve you are. You think you can move in and what—just take what you want? You can't! Blake is mine. He'll be mine as long as I want him to be. You don't get to show up and make him act like a space case. You are nothing!"
I ignored her last remark. "What do you mean a space case? I swear to God, Dakota, I have enough problems without trying to steal your boyfriend. And I'm not some fairytale witch who's cast a spell on him. I'm not making him a space case. I don't even know what you mean by that."
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"You just saw for yourself." She wrinkled her nose. "It felt like I was being kissed by a zombie. Something's wrong with him. I even asked if he started taking drugs, but I don't think he'd do that. That's not his scene."
Drugs. Maybe not illicit ones, but he was on something. "What does he have a prescription for? He had an alarm set on his phone so he wouldn't forget to take them."
She shrugged. "I don't know. I didn't ask. Figured it was for ADHD or something."
"You're not curious?"
Her eyes turned into lasers. I might be shot at and disintegrate at any moment. "I'm not with him so I can memorize his medical history. God, you are so lame. Just stay away from him and none of this needs to be your problem. Do you understand me?"
I nodded. I understood her all too well. She and Blake were both awful people and they were welcome to each other. I'd keep my sweet Jack and even without being able to touch him or smell him or leave the house with him, it was still better than being with the Populars.
Maybe the best thing I could do would be to quit now, tell Kayla our mystery solving days were over. The more I uncovered, the less I wanted to know. Kayla would be disappointed, but she'd understand. Jack would too. Maybe. He could keep giving me dance lessons and I'd keep talking to him and we'd have whatever time together we were allowed to have.
Some mysteries were best left unsolved.
I managed to convince myself that I was right about this for the next six and a half hours. My plan was to bring Kayla over to my place so I could announce my decision to her and Jack at the same time. I made it almost out to the student parking lot when a firm hand on my shoulder halted my progress out the double doors.
Blake. I turned around and we stood in the vestibule between the inner and outer sets of doors, saying nothing as a group of Freshman walked past. They eyed us with quizzical expressions. Even though they were as new to the school as I was, they understood that I had no place in Blake's company.
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When they were gone, Blake opened his mouth, then closed it again.
"At a loss for words. That's a first."
"Not around you it isn't." He frowned and stuck his hands in his pockets. "Something's wrong with me, Mazie."
"Something's going to be wrong with me too if your girlfriend catches me talking to you. She gave me a very mean girls warning this morning."
"She's all bark."
"Not so sure about that." I shifted the weight of my backpack onto the other shoulder. "If you have something to say, now's your chance."
"I'm sorry."
"For what?"
"For this morning. With Dakota."
"You can make out with Dakota or whoever you want. It doesn't concern me."
"It doesn't?" I couldn't tell if this surprised him because he was arrogant enough to believe every girl wanted him, or if he sensed my connection with his ghost counterpart.
"Were you trying to concern me, Blake? Did you kiss Dakota, a girl you told me you were going to break up with as soon as you found the time, because you wanted to hurt me? Because if that's the case, it's a pretty shitty thing to do on several levels."
"No! I don't know why I did it. I just wanted to feel normal again."
"And did you?"
"Did I what?"
I gave an exaggerated sigh. "Did kissing Dakota make you feel normal?"
He gazed towards his feet. The right one was tapping to a rhythm only Blake seemed to be able to hear. "It didn't make me feel anything." He looked up at me. "That reminder you saw in my car about taking pills—they're for depression. My mom made me get a prescription. It's not just that, though. I don't even know if what I'm dealing with is depression. I don't know what it is. I told you, something's wrong with me. And I feel like you know more than I do about it."
I took a step back towards the outer doors. "How would I know anything?"
"I said I feel like you do. It's a feeling. A gut feeling." He stepped towards me. The aroma of freshly milled cedar filled the space between us. "Tell me I'm wrong."
Our faces were inches apart, eyes locked on one another.
I broke contact first, turning my head to look outside. Kayla stood off in the distance near her car as she talked to someone. Her hands flew up to her face and she stepped backwards revealing the person she'd been speaking to. Ethan.
Whatever they'd been discussing, it seemed intense. Ethan went storming away and Kayla leaned against her trunk, hands still covering her mouth.
"I've gotta go, Blake."
"You didn't answer me."
I stepped away from him and pushed open the doors. The smell of blackberries overtook cedar. "You're right, I didn't. I have no idea how to even begin with this madness."
Not a lie, but vague enough not to give anything away, hopefully. Blake deserved to know what was happening to him, but if I told him, it would accomplish nothing except for him to think I was insane. Still, keeping the truth from him created a little gumball of guilt that I swallowed whole. It would sit in the pit of my stomach, undigested, for the rest of my life. Possibly causing me to develop cancer and experience an early, agonizing death.
Blake deserved to know even if he wouldn't believe me—just not now.
I hurried towards Kayla, not needing to turn around to know Blake had followed. No matter. Whatever Kayla had to tell me, she didn't seem to care who else heard it.
She grabbed me by the wrist as soon as I was in reach.
"Holy crap, Mazie. Guess what?"
"Ethan just found out the apocalypse is imminent. What's it going to be? Alien invasion? The Rapture? Asteroid hitting the earth?"
"None of the above. He got a call from his mom. About his brother."
Oh no. The way Ethan had rushed away...
"Is Zeke dead?" Blake asked, his voice higher than usual.
She shook her head. "Try the opposite. He just woke up!"
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