At night, Rafael was working in his laptop sitting on the couch while I was scanning through my phone. We didn't speak to each other the whole day and I hated it.

Suddenly...

Thud!

The thunder struck making me jump in fear.

Thud!

Again, fuck! I hate this. I closed my eyes covering both my ears with my hand.

"Hazel? You okay?"

I couldn't even reply I was already shaking and sweating.

"Hazel?" Rafael called again. But when I didn't reply, he came running to me and pulled me up from the bed making me sit, he cupped my face in his hands "Hey, what is it?"

Again I closed my eyes as if it would help me not to hear those sounds.

"Hazel, what's wrong?"

"S-Stop t-this please."

"Stop what?"

Thud!

Another one, I hid my face in the crook of his neck this time instantly he wrapped his arms around me trying to calm me down.

Thud!

My hold on his t-shirt tightened, pulling me closer he adjusted me on his lap properly rubbing my back continuously.

"It's okay. It's okay. You're fine."

I don't remember holding him when I fell asleep but when I woke up Rafael was not beside me anymore. Getting up I made my way towards the washroom when I came back Rafael was back in the room waiting for me impatiently.

When he saw me, he got up from the couch "What is wrong with you?" Without anything he asked directly.

"Nothing you should care about." I replied walking past him but he held my hand stopping me.

"What is wrong with you, Hazel? Why are you mad at me?"

Getting my hand out of his hold I said "You really don't know what am I mad about?"

"No."

"Since the night we had sex, you are pretending as if it's a big mistake."

"Because it is. We shouldn't have done it, after a year you'll be leaving Hazel, we are not in a kind of relationship that a husband and wife share."

"What if I... don't want to leave?"

"What?"

"What if I don't want to end this? What if I don't want the divorce from you?"

All he did was stare at me blankly I don't know what is he thinking but I said what I really feel.

I don't want to leave him.

"You have feelings for me?" He asked.

I remained quiet not knowing what to reply.

"Hazel. No. This is wrong."

"I know you love someone else Simon told me everything last night about you and Olivia but I love you, I really do."

He sighed "Haze-" before he could finish his sentence his phone rang. He went out to answer the call.

I made my way downstairs in search of food. Taking a seat in the dining room, the maid served me the food, quietly I started eating. Few minutes later, Rafael joined me. He took a seat beside me.

"We'll be leaving tomorrow. I have some emergency in the company." He informed.

I nodded.

Again after sometime he spoke "Why are you scared of the thunder?" I was about to argue with him again but he said "And I want a proper answer not another fight."

"I am astraphobic, I hate loud noises. It wasn't like this always but after the night I witnessed my Dad being killed by those people, the noises do affect me a lot."

He remained quiet for a moment, I continued eating the food "How did you used to stay earlier, at your house? You were alone."

Shrugging I replied "I used to hide myself inside the cupboard sometimes or sometimes trying to not hear those sounds by covering my ears but nothing worked. I would stay up all night feeling scared of those black outfit men." Now I am used to this feeling, so it doesn't make me cry anymore.

All Rafael did was stare at me "You never told anyone about this?"

I shook my head "Everyone seemed quite busy. Uncle and Aaron had their own stuffs and I would barely meet Simon and I didn't want to worry him about these things when we used to meet because he didn't have much time to spend with me. When it gets too serious, the sleeping pills are always there."

"Sleeping pills?"

I nodded.

"Any specific reason why you are telling this to me?"

"You asked. No one has ever seen me in that condition before and moreover I trust you. I trust you as much as I trust Simon." As I said that I thought something, no I don't trust him as Simon "I think even more than him."

He went back eating the food that was in front of him lost in his thoughts. I definitely couldn't read what was going in his head but it seemed like he was thinking deeply.

So since it's our last day in Spain Rafael asked me if I wanted to see around, just the nearby places. We decided to walk this time.

The weather in the evening in here is pretty soothing with light wind hitting the face. So refreshing.

We were walking silently when he asked out of nowhere "Why?"

I looked at him in confusion "What?"

"Why do you trust me?"

Okay... He is bringing that topic up again.

I shrugged "I don't know, it's just my heart that says you won't ever betray me."

"I will ask you something again Hazel."

I nodded.

"Do you want the divorce?"

I sighed "I've said this before I don't really want divorce. I am happy with you, you are everything I could have ever wished for."

"And what if I want it?"

That broke my heart. Does he really want the divorce?

Of course he does. He still loves Olivia.

Holding back my tears I replied "I can't stop you. I can't even force you to love me, it's just me who has fallen for this arrogant ass."

He didn't reply.

This clears out everything he doesn't have any feelings for me other than the bloody sympathy.

Soon we reached in front of an ice-cream truck, Rafael turned to me and asked "Want some?"

"Sure." I replied.

He led me towards the truck then asked "Flavour?"

Ignoring him I ordered for myself he remained standing back, he was about to pay but I paid for myself before he could do that.

He seemed a bit irritated by my actions, I moved forward having my ice-cream. He followed me, we were walking silently with me having my ice-cream.

"Hazel." He called suddenly. I looked at him. "My past wouldn't allow me to love you."

I nodded "I understand Rafael, I do but you can't keep holding onto the past. You have to move on."

"You don't know me Hazel, you don't."

"You have loved her since high school, Simon told me. It's only few months I have been with you and even the thought of you leaving me scares me I can perfectly understand how would've you felt when you h-heard the news of her-"

He didn't let me complete "That's it. I am happy that Simon told you everything but I would like it if you don't bring up my past in our conversations."

I nodded "I'm sorry."

While walking I saw something and stopped smiling at my place like a crackhead. Feeling my absence beside Rafael too stopped turning back to look at me.

"What?" He asked.

"Do you like stuffed toys?" I asked looking in the front.

Rafael's eyes went to the place where I was staring, he sighed "Hazel I am no kid to like these stuffs."

"Who said it's just the kids who like stuffed toys? I like them too."

"Did I say you are a grown up?"

I glared at him and started walking... I don't want any of those, not after him calling me a kid.

Rafael held my hand stopping me "I didn't say I won't get you any."

"I don't want any." I replied angrily.

He pulled me with him forcefully "Come on."

We stood in front of the claw machine, I rolled my eyes folding my arms over my chest and for the first time Rafael did something I never thought he could do.

He pouted... He tried to act cute which most definitely worked. He was looking damn adorable. Oh Sweet Jesus! My poor heart.

"I'm sorry for calling you a kid now come on just play."

I tried to keep an angry face but it was so hard not to smile seeing Rafael do that.

I have never played this game before, all I have done is seen people playing in dramas. This will be the first time.

Rafael stood looking at me playing, the first try I failed miserably I couldn't even pick up the toy. Seeing me he chuckled.

Ignoring him I tried again, this time there was a progress I was able to pick the toy up but again it fell down.

After 6 or 7 tries and failing again and again and Rafael laughing at me again and again, I gave up.

"Why don't you try yourself rather than laughing like an idiot?" I said finally in anger.

Smirking he came forward and started trying, but Ha! Failed.... Yeah miserably.

I laughed.

"See laughing is easier." I commented.

But of course his ego won't take that. He tried again but failed.

I laughed again.

I lost the count as to how many times he tried, but in the end getting irritated by my laughs he said "Will you stop laughing? I am unable to focus properly."

Oh so he is blaming me for his failures. I remained quiet this time, he went for another try and failed again.

I burst into laughter.

"Leave it. Let's go." Finally I said. Though I wanted one of those toys but since we both are incapable of getting it I should forget about it.

"Just one more try." He said focusing back to the controller.

And this time he again clutched the toy my eyes widened again hoping he could atleast make it this time.

I held his shoulder "Come on Rafael a little bit more. Please."

I was literally jumping for him to be successful in getting the toy. Finally he was successful, he finally got a toy out and extended it to me.

I laughed "Yay!!" I exclaimed.

"Happy?"

I nodded "So happy. Oh Sweet Jesus! This is so cute."

In excitement I hugged him tightly but then again I remembered what he said.

'My past wouldn't allow me to love you.'

He was about to hug me back but I pulled away from him "Sorry." I muttered.

He seemed a bit confused by my actions.

"I just got a bit carried away." I explained.

"It's fine Hazel."

I smiled and extended the toy back to him "You can keep this, you've won it."

"I got this for you not for myself."

I nodded.

As we reached home, I went to my room changing my clothes, I sat on the bed going through my phone. Suddenly Rafael's phone rang, he yelled from the closet to put the call on speaker.

It was Simon.

Before I could reply, Simon said in a hurry "Rafael, I have a news for you. It's really important."

Rafael replied "I am listening Simon."

"Olivia... Olivia is alive." Simon said making Rafael and I go stiff.

Simon continued "I saw her, she is alive Rafael."

My eyes went to Rafael, I couldn't read his emotions exactly but of course he is happy.

He made his way towards me and almost snatched the phone from my hand "W-What did you say?"

"She is alive Rafael. She is alive."

"Simon y-you're not serious."

"Yes Rafael she is alive."

"B-But how is it possible I buried her myself." I could see tears in Rafael's eyes.

"Only she can answer to that."

He wiped the corner of his eyes and replied "I want her Simon."

"And you'll get her bud."

With that he hung up.

Rafael turned to me "Did you hear it? She's alive. Olivia is alive."

I nodded trying to smile. He hugged me "She's alive Hazel. My Olivia is alive."

My Olivia? Has he ever used that word for me?

Yeah, his Olivia will be back to him in few days and I would be back in my house, caged in that room.

Why? Why does it hurt so much? I should be happy to hear that someone is not dead.

Am I so bad?

And after this I am sure we are going to have the divorce after the year is over.

I can't get him, even if I try.