We get back to the school pretty late. I was tired and just overall bored for some reason. So I obviously didn't go to the headmistress's office. I went straight to my dorm and into the shower. The shower helped me calm down a lot cause I honestly didn't like the news the headmistress gave me over the phone.

I go to my room after my shower and just flop myself onto my bed. I look at the time seeing it's already 1:00 AM. I sigh a bit and my eyes feel droopy and heavy. I roll over to my side and grab my bee stuffie hugging it close to me. I don't know why but I have a really bad feeling about tomorrow. I just can't place my finger on it though.

I keep hugging my stuffie close to me for another five minutes until finally I push it away from me and sit upright. My feet touch the cold floor making me shiver a bit. I pull my blankets off and get into bed covering myself in the soft fuzzy blankets. I snuggle into my pillow and fall asleep.

The sound of my very annoying alarm clock on my phone rings. I groan and cover my face with my blankets the alarm clock still going off. I really don't want to wake up or get out of bed but I have to. I roll over and grab my phone turning the alarm clock off. Pushing the blankets off of me I get out of bed and walk over to my closet. I grab my uniform and then head for the shower turning it on and getting in. The shower is pretty quick, I put my uniform on and tie my hair up into a ponytail.

I get my school bag and put my phone in my pocket. As I put on my shoes I hear a knock on the door. Who's here this early? I check my phone, yup it's 5:30 AM. I'm up this early because the headmistress sent me a message to be at her office by 6:00 AM. So I can meet my new caregiver. I roll my eyes at the thought of getting a caregiver. Why does she get to decide if I need a caregiver or not? What if I don't agree to this, shouldn't this decision be made with both parties are in agreeance? I can't argue with her because apparently, it's a school rule to have a caregiver for all littles. For safety reasons, whatever that means.

I go to the door with my shoes on and open it. I look up and see Zane like he's out of breath breathing heavily. He looks tired and uncomfortable in a way. He's looking at me worriedly as if he just ran out of time for something. He has a bruise on his lower lip and his hair is messy.

"Don't...please..." He says out of breath worriedly to me. I give him a confused look.

"Don't...go to my mother's office...I...please," He says begging me with his voice trying to catch his breath. How does he know I'm going to his mom's office? Who told him? How did he find out?

"I know...I betrayed your trust, I know I did and god it kills me every day knowing I did...It hurt me when you look at me like you do... When you look at me like you don't want me to even be close to you, I can't stand it," he tells me his voice breaking a little in between his sentences.

"How do you know I'm heading to your mom's office," I calmly say with no emotion in my voice. This sort of 'apology' means nothing to me. Time and time again he has shown me and treated me like I was nothing. My dignity went down so much because of him. He went with his ex-girlfriend when he said he wanted to be with me. It was so embarrassing especially since practically everyone and the school knew. Their whispers when I passed by them, the looks they gave me.

"I someone told me...," he says, his eyes getting a bit watery but not enough for a tear to fall. They were just very glassy. He seemed sincere though like every word that came out of his mouth is true.

"The things I did to you were so very fucked up. But, if you just please give me a chance to explain myself, I swear to you I'll give you my heart and mind, I'll be yours and only yours" He says to me and caresses my face. I let myself enjoy this intimate touch from him. I want to believe him, I want to believe he's changed and that we can actually start to fix our relationship, together. But then all the memories come flooding back in.

"Please don't go to that office, I can't handle...I won't be able to handle seeing you with another person that isn't me...please Carmen..." his voice is shaky and he sounds like he wants to cry.

I step out of my dorm and close my door behind me locking it. I don't give him a response. I don't know if I even want to hear him out. He seems like he's telling the truth but I just don't know. I look at him and all I see is him. His soft handsome features in front of me, the tiredness of his eyes, and the lump in his throat. The swell in his bottom lip, his messy untamed hair...even in this state I find him perfect.

"I'll see you around Zane..." I say and walk away. I couldn't give him a yes or no response. I just couldn't something in me didn't let me. My chest feels like it's squeezing me tight. I bite my bottom lip trying to make no escape from my eyes. I could feel him looking at me as I walk away from him and into the elevator.

I turn to face him and we give each other sorrowful looks to each other. We admire each other from afar. Before the elevator can shut completely I hear his voice break as he yells out to me, "Carmen...please!". He runs to me but the elevator shuts completely and starts going down.

As soon as I'm on the first floor I run out of the dormitory holding my bag strap. I can't deal with this right now. I can't deal with him or anything. Why...God...why does he have to make everything so hard for me! The tears start running down my face as I run. I don't know where I'm running to but it sure isn't the headmistresses office.

I manage to find a secluded area where no one is at. It's just myself and my thoughts...

I let out a cry and face my back to a wall. I let myself fall to the floor as the tears start flowing down my face. I'm shaking and crying. I hate this feeling...why do I feel like I should have heard him out? I just couldn't bring myself to say yes though. Both bad and good memories come to mind that I've made with Zane.

If I had said yes then maybe we could have gone back to normal. Then just maybe we could have been together, like a real couple, not just crushes or anything like that. But if I had said yes what if he does the same thing over and over to me? What if his promises to me were empty, nothing but just to play with me and my feelings.

But if I had said no, that would mean we would say bye forever...

I don't want to say bye to him though. There's still a part inside of my heart that beats for him...that wants him to be telling the truth to me. A part that makes me smile just a tiny bit whenever I think of him. I take in a deep breath trying to calm myself down.

If he'd just practice what he preached then maybe I could have given an answer. Then just maybe, we both wouldn't have been in this mentally draining situation.

I slowly start to stand up and take another breath. I take out my phone and look at myself in the camera. My eyes are red and puffy, my hair is now a mess, and my mascara is running. I quickly try to fix my hair and wipe the mascara off my face. I look at the time seeing it's 6:38 AM now. I'm running so late but I don't care.

I take my time walking to the headmistress's office taking in everything that just happened. I get to the office and open the door. The secretary looks at me surprised. Maybe it's because of the way I look right now. I don't blame her though, I do look horrible.

"What's the reason you're here sweety?" she questions me typing something into her computer.

"I had an appointment with the headmistress today at 6:00 AM," I say.

"Uh, just go on right in, she's been waiting for you to show up with a young man," She says standing up and handing me a paper. I nod and walk into the office.

As I walk in I see the headmistress's mouth move but I can't hear what she says. I zone out looking at the man standing in the office giving me the evilest smile. I start to feel like I can't breathe. Why can't I say anything...why isn't anything coming out of my mouth. I need to scream, I need to shout. I need to do something to get out of this man's presence.

He isn't just anybody, he's my ex-boyfriend...Austin Alaister...

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