I didn't know what to think as the security guard escorted me backstage. My mind was clouded with the image of Zane and Olivia together. Olivia holding Zane's hand tightly, her fingers intertwined with his.

Is this why he was acting weird towards me? Is this why he never responded to my text messages and didn't even come to say bye to me as I left with Liam?

My eyes started to have a very stingy feel. I could feel my eyes start to fill up with tears. I have to hold them back though. I can't have all these people see me cry. I put my head down a bit and blink my eyes. I could feel a warm tear slide down my face. I quickly wipe it off though, hoping no one saw me wipe off a tear.

As soon as we entered backstage I went straight to the bathroom. Natalie and Rosie tried to talk to me but I passed them not making any eye contact. I shut the door behind me and went into one of the stalls. I take my mask off and shove it into my pocket and then I let the tears flow down.

God, why was I so stupid to believe he actually liked me. I shut my eyes tightly. He never really liked me, he was just using me to get back with Olivia. How didn't I notice this? Alex clearly told me they had a thing before. He was clearly in love with Olivia. Why did I act so blind to that?

The warm tears fell down my face. My makeup is probably all ruined now and I have to go up on stage in a couple of hours. I clutch my fist and take a deep breath. I should have just opened my eyes and seen he was still in love with her. After all, they were the "It" couple.

Was I not good enough for him?

I scuff at myself. Of course, you weren't Carmen you never were...

I hear the bathroom door open and shut with two pairs of footsteps come in. "love you in here?" I hear Natalie's voice echo through the empty bathroom. I sniffle in a couple of cries and wipe off the tears.

"Yeah...uh...I'm in the stall, I'll be out in a bit. Can you just give me a minute?" I try to say as normal as possible. I could hear her and Rosie say something but I can't manage to hear what they are saying. A lock sound comes from the bathroom door.

They softly knock at my stall, "Babe just come out, no one in here, and Natalie locked the door. I can clearly hear you're not fine." Rosie says softly. I clearly my throat and unlock my stall door and step out. Natalie hugs me and suddenly I break down. Rosie rubs my back softly.

I sob on Natalie's shoulder as they both just stay quiet. "We don't know what's going on...but we're here for you my love," Rosie says. I can't stop the tears from rolling down. "You don't have to tell us right now, you can tell us whenever you feel is right, we're here for you" Natalie smiles at me softly.

I try to stop the crying and manage to say, "it's so stupid...I don't even know why I'm crying about it..." I take in a stuttery breath. The worst part about all of this is that....he...he even had a smile on his face with her.

Natalie lets me cry on her shoulder for a bit more until there was a knock on the bathroom door. Rosie stands up and opens the door slightly letting in Nick, Jayson, and Liam. "Why is she crying? Did someone hurt you? Are you okay?" Jayson asks quickly and comes to my side as fast as he could. He grabs my shoulders and looks me in the eye, "Answer my question are you okay? Did someone hurt you, darling?"

He pulls me close to him. I could smell the cologne he was wearing. "Is anyone gonna answer my damn question why is she crying?" Jayson says fiercely. Both Rosie and Natalie shrug their shoulders, "we don't know we just came in and she was crying,"

I pull myself away from him and quietly say, "he was with another girl...". Liam looks at me with anger filling his eyes. He gets a vicious smile on his face. "He's here with another girl?" Liam questions. I shake my head yes.

"Who's 'he'" Both Nick and Jayson say in unison while Natalie and Rosie give me a confused look. They don't really know about Zane because he never really came up in any of our conversations.

"Zane...this one dude who supposedly 'liked' her and who wanted to be with her," Liam says with disgust saying his name. Both Jayson and Nick turned to me, "Son of a bitch..." They both say.

"I'm going to kill him," Jayson says angrily. I look at Jayson, "please don't do anything it's no big deal I'm just overreacting..."

"No big deal? No big deal, this is a big deal Carmen!" Nick tells me crossing his arms.

"It's a very big deal, he can't say he wants to be with you and then come up with this shit," Rosie raises her voice a bit. Natalie nods in agreement with Rosie. I bit the inside of my mouth. They were right. But why do I feel as if it's still my fault when clearly I shouldn't.

"I've said this before and I'll say it again Carmen, no one and I mean no one will ever be good enough for you. You're a literal gem, an angel sent from heaven Carmen. And no one will ever be good enough for you because you're amazing. And this Zane guy he doesn't deserve you" Jayson says to me.

"So you know what? Keep your head high because someone like him will never be worth your time," He smiles at me and everyone agrees with him. Everyone squeezes together and hugs me tightly. "Ceaseless team forever," Natalie says.

"Ceaseless team forever," We all say together then release from the group hug.

"Now let's fix that makeup before you go up on stage," Natalie says to me. I nod and smile at her. Nick, Liam, and Jayson leave the bathroom and we start to fix up my makeup.

We do the same look I had on before and finish in 30 minutes. As soon as we're done I put my mask on and we leave the bathroom.

"Ceaseless team we need you to report to the back of stage 21" The intercom backstage said. We all look at each other and smile. The time has come.

We all begin to make our way to stage 21. As we get closer and closer I could hear people chanting, screaming all of our names, and just a bunch of chattering.

As soon as we get there the workers come up to all of us and hand us mics. "They are all working we checked already don't worry. You'll all be announced one by one. Also you Carmen will come out last seeing as it's your first time on stage." The worker told us as he wrote some things down on his clipboard.

I peeped my head out just a tiny bit to see everyone all excited in their seats. This brought a smile to my face they're all here to see us. They're the ones who made this happen. I don't think I could be any happier than where I am at right now.

I feel someone start to tug on me and I turn to see the worker, "alright in your place at the end" I nod and head behind Natalie. The worker goes on stage and starts to announce.

"HELLO EVERYONE! AND WELCOME TO THE 2021 STREAMING CON ARE WE EXCITED!" He said through his mic. The whole crowd went wild and started to cheer.

"NOW WELCOME IN YOUR FAVORITE TOP STREAMERS AND CREATORS," he said.

"RIOT L.J" the announcer said and Liam walked out first. "Hello everyone!" Liam says as he talked a seat.

"WELCOME IN SYMPLIX"

Jayson walked out next waving towards the crowd and taking a seat next to Liam.

"NAT NATION"

Natalie came out after waving and saying hello to the crowd excitedly. She had the brightest smile on her face.

"ROZZ!" The announcer said next and Rosie came out waving and blowing a quick kiss to the crowd and then sat down next to Natalie.

It was only me and nick left. Nick turns to me, "hey look, you'll do good don't worry. I'll see you out there." He smiled at me.

"ASH STONE!" Nick walks out waves to the crowd quickly then went to sit next to Rosie. Nick doesn't really like crowds of people but he still comes to these events because he knows it'll make people happy.

"AND EVERYONE GIVE A SPECIAL AND LOUD WELCOME TO THE ONE YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR...." He takes a quick pause for effect.

"CEASELESSMENA!"

The crowd gets even more louder if that's even possible as I walk out. I wave to the crowd happily. People are chanting my name and yelling for me. I hurry and go sit besides Nick who gives me a reassuring smile.

This is real....I'm really out here...

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