"Earth to Hazel..."

I was definitely staring out into space again...while Rae was waving a paint brush in front of my face I turned to look up at her.

Instead of moving away again I watched the brush go back and forth gently... when she hit me lightly on my forehead I flinched.

"Ow!"

"It didn't hurt that much... will you stop spacing out? We have to prepare for our next class..." I sighed and nodded... I walked over to the sink to wash all of the brushes. I couldn't stop thinking about the conversation I had with Nathan earlier.

"Do you do anything special for the holidays, Hazel?" Nathan had caught me by surprise mid-bite. He had joined me for breakfast early in the morning when Edna insisted...

"Umm... not really." he nodded a few times understandingly.

When it seemed like he had been anticipating an answer from me... I decided to relent a little.

"Well, I used to decorate a tree every year with... with my mom."

"I see..." Nathan cleared his throat and then brought out his phone. I wondered what he was up to. After eating we both walked to the front entrance together. He insisted on driving me to work so I agreed to go with him. Along the way he brought up the topic of tree decorating.

"How about you get the family together to decorate the tree?" I pressed my lips together briefly.

"I knew you were up to something..." he smiled at me as I laid my head against the seat...

I nearly dropped some of the brushes in the sink but I caught them just in time. Rae walked over to ask me why I had washed them several times in a row...

"What am I supposed to do?!" I looked at her desperately and she raised her eyebrows in shock.

"I mean..." how could I evade this?

"Some of the paint won't come off..." I said and Rae glared at me.

"Then let them soak! Come on, we have extras. We only have five more minutes..." I watched her leave my side and then sighed again...

How could I decorate a tree with this family?

Especially after realizing my feelings for Kai... it seemed a little too sweet and nerve-wracking...

After my work day I went home to plan the tree decorating event. When I told Kenz about it she became incredibly enthusiastic. They usually just have some people come in to decorate the tree... I smiled at her response and released some of my previous tension a little...

This could mean the world to her and this family, after all...

In the next few weeks I planned all the decorative themes while Nathan helped to locate a tree.

When Christmas Eve arrived we were all decorating together.

I had managed to scout Jackson and Charlie to help while James studied in the background. Kenz excitedly helped Edna make cookies in the kitchen while waiting for us to call her to put the star on the tree. Jackson couldn't stop playing with the tinsel and made a mess, of course, and just when I was about to lose it Kai entered the room.

He sat adjacent to everyone whose eyes were glued to his presence. It seemed very unlike him to show up but he did... and after he sat down he began reading the newspaper...

"Look out!" Jackson shouted out and I turned. He wrapped some garland around me and I glared at him. Before I launched a tinsel attack on him Edna called out to us.

"Snacks are ready!" Kenz brought in a tray for all of us and I smiled. She passed out cookies to everyone and then sat next to Charlie to help him sort through some ornaments. When I saw this I couldn't help but feel sentimental...

If only my mom was still here...

As soon as that aching pain reached my heart I turned away... this wasn't the time and place to... I let my thoughts wander off as I played around with some of the lights. When I distracted myself again, I felt someone hug onto my waist. It was Kenz. I brushed a few strands of hair from her face and smiled.

"Is it time for the star?" I nodded and James went over to grab the step ladder. We all braced Kenz from behind as she placed the star on the top. Then, when we all stood together waiting for the lights to go on it suddenly felt magical... they all gasped at how beautiful the tree was.

"I did pretty good, didn't I?" I rolled my eyes at Jackson playfully and smiled.

"I'll go and get dinner started..." Edna said after patting the small of my back... when everyone dispersed from the living room to do their own thing, I couldn't help but watch Kai staring up at the tree. There seemed to me mixed emotions rising up... perhaps a little joy... and sadness?

I grabbed a hold of the gift I prepared for him and sat next to him. He seemed surprised I was sitting next to him. James was being distracted by Jackson who wanted to take dozens of photos in front of the tree... and Kenz was playing with Apollo...

"The tree looks nice..." I said as Kai nodded.

"Here..." I added while placing the gift on his lap. He seemed confused.

"Happy Holidays... make sure you open it later..." I smiled and then got up to walk over to Kenz to suggest we go out and walk Apollo. Since it was going to snow later I thought it would be a good idea...

***

Later that night when I went to my room I heard something stir a little in Kai's room. Out of curiosity I walked across the hall and placed my hand on the door... I thought about knocking but when I heard what sounded like crying I decided to go back to my room.

I had hand drawn a picture for him. Nathan gave me a photograph for reference. It was one of his earlier childhood photos with his mother and father...

I hesitated at first because I didn't want him to get upset because of the accident, but the more I thought about it the more sadness I felt.

He didn't even have one picture of his family nearby to remind himself of the good memories... so I resolved that even if he hid the picture I drew or hated what I did... at least I tried to return them back into his life.

I wanted him to not only feel pain or regret when he saw them... but also love. I wanted there to be peace in Kai's heart...

***

A few more days passed and I didn't talk to Kai much... when he did see me he didn't ignore me which I was relieved by...

An entire week passed by before he reminded me about their trip to Japan in the New Year.

"Great..." I was in the kitchen grabbing a drink after a mini-work out session when he told me.

"And you'll be accompanying Nathan and I..." I nearly spat out my drink...

I forgot about that important detail...